【完結】産科医が後宮で廃后となった人物に転生！皇帝に嫌われ、妃たちに策略されるが、刺繍糸で龍の胎を救い、ヨガボールで貴妃の胎位を直す。皇帝は涙を浮かべて彼女の復位を願う！
The Emperor knelt in the snow until he died, all for a man who didn’t love you. Oh, silly girl! But since you’re already here, I have no interest in palace intrigue or vying for favor. Let him be . But I, Jiang Wantang, ca n’t stand watching these sisters fight and wait to die. It’s just childbirth! This is my specialty! I’ll give them each a golden baby —better than competing for favor and rotten peach blossoms! They’ll all be so busy breastfeeding that they won’t have time for fighting! Your Majesty , you’re finally awake! Stop! Go and replace “The Art of War” and “The Guide to Palace Ladies’ Infighting” with “The 36 Methods of Pregnancy .” Oh , right, and paper and pen ! Hehe ! My dear, this is a tribute from the Western Regions. Luo Zidai only produces this much every 30 years. You were reluctant to use it before ; isn’t it a waste to use it for painting ? These are priceless treasures! Hehe! Perfect ! Cui’er, listen to me! There are countless treasures in the harem ; this little bit is nothing. Besides, this diagram of the uterine structure I have here… This era is far more valuable than these gold and silver jewels. Your Majesty, what is a diagram of the uterus ? This is where women give birth! Your Majesty , are you still ill? Why are you talking nonsense ? What’s there to be ashamed of? I used to be a master obstetrician, a master who knows everything! Your Majesty, this humble subject has come to take your pulse. Since you fell ill, Consort Xiao has arranged for imperial physicians to examine your pulse every day. Consort Xiao is just relying on her cousin being the General Who Protects the Nation , holding military power, and being the favored concubine who opposes the original owner. What kind of good people can she arrange to treat me ? It would be good if I didn’t die. Alright , come on. Hmm, Your Majesty, your pulse is weak and floating. Stop! Your pulse is floating and slippery. You’re giving me the pulse of a cafeteria lady who shakes when serving food. Here comes the pulse, floating and slippery. Who are you trying to scare? Your Majesty, your body is indeed weak and your qi and blood are insufficient. Oh dear, why are your hands shaking like the premature baby I just delivered yesterday ? The owner of this garden has been nourished with abalone and ginseng every day , he’s long since recovered. What nonsense! It’s obvious someone doesn’t want to relinquish power. So you dared to take up your post after just memorizing Chapter 3 ? Is your Imperial Hospital a crash course? That’s right, how could Consort Xiao be so kind as to ask the imperial physician to treat me? Your Majesty , be careful what you say, I’ve fallen out of favor. Oh dear, my pulse is weak. You must have gone to the toilet three times last night, Your Majesty. How did you know? Prostate enlargement? You should drink less ginseng soup. And your hemorrhoids? You should have surgery. Your Majesty, your bladder capacity is 300 ml. You must have gone to the toilet every half hour last night. Your Majesty is already much better. I’ll go back to the Imperial Hospital to revise the medical record. Trying to scheme against me? No way ! Your Majesty has arrived . Hello, rise . I heard that the Empress has been desperate to see me since she fell ill. I suppose she’s better now. So that’s how it is. That dog emperor is quite good-looking, it’s a pity he’s not a good person. Oh, thanks to Your Majesty, I ‘m completely healed . So why did you make such a fuss and call me here? Are you trying to deceive me ? I did call him here because Your Majesty has been crying and begging for Your Majesty to see you every day. Original owner, you begged for so long in the snow, and that dog emperor didn’t even defend you! You’re so love-struck , go to hell ! Career is the most important thing! Since that dog emperor has come to my door, why not… Hahaha, I’m completely healed . This time, I’ve come to Your Majesty to reclaim the power over the six palaces. Doesn’t this woman usually hate palace affairs the most? Every time she sees me , she makes a scene, telling me how wronged she is. Why is she taking the initiative to reclaim power today ? Does she want to emulate the late Empress’s interference in politics by her relatives? Your Majesty, perhaps you should finish dealing with the accumulated official duties first… “Come talk to me about the power of the six palaces, Your Majesty. You’ve indeed neglected your duties. Yuanzhu, you’d rather be a dog than do official business, hehehe. You’re doing official business, I’ll do it . So you want to follow my example. This woman must not be allowed to live . Very well, I’ll wait and see . Your Majesty, didn’t you hate palace affairs the most? You said that as long as the Emperor loves you, that’s enough. As for the power of the six palaces , as for the Empress’s position, you don’t care? Forget it. This is the Imperial Palace. A high position without power is like a dish. Cui Cui, listen to me. From today onwards, I will completely sever ties with the past. I support you. For the harmony of the harem , for our own happiness, our goal is to give every sister in the harem a child. What did you say? That bitch Jiang Wantang not only drove away the imperial physician I arranged , but also asked the Emperor to take back her power of the six palaces. Your Majesty, please calm down.” Jiang Wantang, you vile woman! Not only did you steal my position as Empress, but now you want to take over the power of the six palaces! You won’t get a chance ! Since he likes to do it so much , let him do it to his heart’s content! Your Majesty, Your Majesty , you must do justice for me! The new beauty… she… she’s gone too far! She’s been clinging to the Emperor for a month, but His Majesty is of inestimable strength! How can his body withstand this? What do you want me to do ? Hmm, how about I chop the Emperor in half and you two each take half? Your Majesty, what?! You’re so scary! Oh, Cui Cui , let’s eat crucian carp today! First, let’s offer a sacrifice to the silver chopsticks… Hometown feelings must be seen again … Hey! Hey , Your Majesty ! Hahaha , I was just joking with you , baby. You continue , Your Majesty. I think you should remove his Noble Consort’s Blessing Mark. Stop! Why does that sound so familiar? What’s wrong, Your Majesty? It’s nothing, it’s nothing. Okay, I understand your matter. I’ll try my best to help you get pregnant and serve the Emperor. Alright , my dear. Take this book and study it carefully. Pregnancy is guaranteed ! Hehe , also, tomorrow the Emperor will go to the Imperial Garden to admire the crabapple blossoms. Seize the opportunity! Oh, really? Thank you, Your Majesty. Next one… wait a minute, there are a few more after Cui . Your Majesty, there are 25 more concubines after that. What?! If I go and deal with these 25 concubines, won’t the fish be cold by then? Your Majesty, actually we just need to… Oh, I remember Consort Xiao always wanted to be Empress. This kind of thing is more suitable for her. I’m leaving now, hehehehe. Oh, Your Majesty, Your Majesty, Your Majesty, what about me? Ah, so refreshing ! This is the correct way to experience time travel! Hmm, Your Majesty, please enjoy your meal . Hmm, with this kind of life, I really don’t know why the original owner was so obsessed with palace intrigue. Hmm, she was clearly just an empty shell chosen by the Emperor and Empress Dowager. The Empress Dowager wasn’t smart enough and loved palace intrigue. Now look what happened! She died from a serious illness . Oh, it’s a good thing for me, the innocent victim who died in a car accident in the obstetrics and gynecology department . Hmm, Your Majesty, the Empress Dowager invites you to a selection of concubines. Now … hehe , sorry, sorry, Your Majesty, have you forgotten that today is the day of the selection of concubines? Hahaha , I ‘m so busy with palace affairs, I can’t come right away , hehe, please forgive me , hahaha. I think it’s because the Empress is unhappy with the Emperor taking a new concubine that she ‘s deliberately not coming. It’s true , in this palace, you only hear the laughter of the new concubines , not the cries of the old ones. Oh dear, what’s wrong with you again? Perhaps you’re tired from helping the Empress with official business. Your Highness, you must stand up for us! Your Highness, Your Highness, I want to see the Emperor ! Your Highness, Your Highness , my Seven Treasures Glazed Lamp is missing! Your Highness, I just made a bet with the Emperor, and so many old cases have been unearthed . Just as I thought, it really is that Consort Xiao! She’s spreading rumors everywhere that I’m leaving my official duties to stop me from welcoming the Emperor. Hmph, serves her right! Okay, okay, I understand, I understand. Arrangements will be made! Your Majesty the Empress Dowager , please don’t misunderstand the Empress! The Empress Dowager, she… I wasn’t told to do these things because the Empress was still young and unable to handle such matters after recovering from a serious illness. Hmph, is this some kind of “high-class green tea” Empress ? Consort Xiao, what are you talking about? When did I ask you to handle these things? You can’t just take advantage of your age and thick skin. You’ve only been a concubine for six years and you’re already bullying me, the Empress who just entered the palace! You…you…you… you…you say I’m old and rough ?! Hey, protect me! Quickly! Consort Xiao is going to kill the Empress! Jiang Wantang, are you sick? Who’s going to kill you?! You…you weren’t going to kill me, were you?! Ah… ah, it seems I misunderstood you, sister. Then let her go. Anyway, I’m just dizzy, my limbs are numb, and my health is poor. I’m afraid this could harm the country , but it doesn’t matter . Compared to your importance in the harem, these are nothing. Damn it! Jiang Wantang, after waking up from an illness … So you’ve become smarter, taking the path of the green tea bitch and leaving her with nowhere to go. This game is won! Enough with the nonsense ! What kind of behavior is this? An empress and a concubine , aren’t they afraid of being laughed at? Empress Dowager, get up! You should hold the imperial selection first. Today’s selection is important . Hmm , guards! Consort Xiao has been disrespectful in front of the palace . Send her away and have her copy Buddhist scriptures ten times . What right do you have to punish me? I only do so because I am the empress in charge of the six palaces . The empress has quite the airs! Your Majesty, please stand at attention ! Jiang Wantang, hey! Your Majesty, please sit down! What tricks are you playing now? Why were you so domineering just now ? Hmph, Your Majesty , what are you saying? I don’t understand! Am I not your empress ? Can’t I exercise the rights of an empress ? Can’t I punish Consort Xiao, who was serving in front of the palace? Has this woman’s brain been frozen from kneeling in the snow for so long ? In public… What kind of behavior is this, pulling and tugging ? Your Majesty , the imperial concubine selection is about to begin. Don’t keep the ladies waiting. Consort Xiao offended the Empress. After the selection, she will be sent back to the palace to reflect on her actions for three days . She truly deserves to be the new Emperor’s most favored concubine. She offended the Empress , yet she’s only punished with three days of reflection. No wonder the Garden Master is indignant and wants to engage in palace intrigue. Isn’t this Empress just a figurehead? Why does the Empress think my punishment of Consort Xiao is biased? No, no, no, I think Your Majesty did a very good job. Hehe, usually he would make a scene over such things. Why is he so calm today? What tricks is he playing? The imperial concubine selection ceremony will now begin. First up is Shi Le, daughter of Shi Zhenxiang, Vice Minister of the Court of Judicial Review, aged eighteen . Wow, an absolute beauty ! Your Majesty , I am Shi Le, daughter of Shi Zhenxiang, Vice Minister of the Court of Judicial Review. She is skilled in the pipa and sheng . What does the Empress think ? Hmm… a charming smile, beautiful eyes, an absolute beauty! She’s a good candidate for the palace! Your Majesty, what do you say? She’s suitable to be my sister! When will this woman… ? So magnanimous! Usually, if I visit Consort Xiao a few times, she throws a tantrum. What’s wrong today? The Empress says it’s good , so it’s good. This selection isn’t just my business; the Empress also has a right to participate. Why don’t we let the Empress choose this year? Jiang Wantang is always jealous. She must have been trying to get my attention. Are you sure you’re a man of your word? Haha , well then I won’t be polite. Hehe , come on , little beauty! Your Majesty, what are you going to do? Consort number one, hip measurement plus 10 points! Oh my, this girl’s hip measurement is excellent! 10 points! Entering the palace ! Thank you for the praise, Your Majesty! You’re so beautiful and have such a sweet tongue! Entering the palace! Entering the palace! Thank you, Your Majesty! Thank you, Your Majesty! I can dance! Give me a dance! Hey, stop, stop, stop! Spinning can cause placental abruption! So, after you get pregnant, you should use the side-lying breathing method. Well then, I’ll use my hairpin! After you get pregnant, remember to come to me. I ‘ll personally take care of you. Thank you, Your Majesty! Come on, everyone, let’s dance! Let me see how your aptitude is! And hip measurement 36D! 10 points for entering the palace: This beauty is only suitable as a decorative vase. 9 points for entering the palace: Enter the palace, enter the palace, enter the palace, enter the palace, enter the palace! All of them enter the palace ! Hahaha! Is the Empress really a stud? Your Majesty, you’ve misunderstood! Everything I’ve done is for your own good. This is a scientific breeding chart that I’ve painstakingly researched. It matches each of my sisters to their optimal conception period based on BMI , ensuring that Your Majesty can have many children. “Continuing the lineage is absurd ! Hahaha ! I’ve lived in the palace for so long, I never knew the Empress could act as a midwife! I’m acting in the name of Heaven and to inherit the throne . I’m doing this for the sake of the country! Your Majesty, Mother Empress, please say something! What the Empress says makes sense, Mother Empress, why are you helping her with this nonsense? The Empress is of noble birth , how could she know such a ridiculous technique? A ridiculous technique! Hmph ! Consort Xiao thinks this childbirth technique is absurd? Then let me ask you, if there hadn’t been a midwife cutting off your umbilical cord when you were born, would you be here spouting nonsense? People say that the blood of a woman in childbirth is ominous , but they don’t know that only through bloodshed can one glimpse the compassion of Heaven and Earth. Which of you here hasn’t experienced the gates of life and death? The ancients said that women are inherently weak, but become strong when they become mothers. This childbirth technique is a symbol of women’s resilience. The birth of a new life is so sacred! What nonsense! Women can hold up half the sky in this world, what is shameful about childbirth? Yes, women are not inferior to men, and women are stronger than men. Well said!” Well said , well said! Can I sign my name? Can I stay next to your room? Oh, sure, sure . We’ll take our time after you enter the palace. Jiang Wentao seems to have changed , hahaha. Consort Xiao has committed several offenses, including being disrespectful and immoral in front of the emperor . She is to be punished with a year’s salary and to copy scriptures a hundred times. The Empress is dignified and polite. She will take charge of the harem from this day forward. Empress Dowager, if you disagree, I dare not. Your Majesty , what do you think? Oh , I have no objection . Thank you , Empress Dowager . Bring me the jade tokens for the six palaces. Your Majesty, look at him. Someone , escort Consort Xiao back to the palace. Your Majesty, oh , Jiang Wantang, you just wait . Hmph, today’s selection is over. Ladies, please go to the left. Wait, what is it now? Your Majesty, I think for the sake of harmony in the harem, you should treat everyone equally . What do you mean, equally? You clearly think I favor Consort Xiao and are jealous, so you want me to coax her. You’re still the same Jiang Wantang as before . Today you just want to get my attention. Alright. So tonight I will go to the Empress. Therefore, I have made a table for you according to the ovulation cycle chart of each concubine in the harem. I hope you will serve me in the order. I want to serve you in the harem. Oh, my wording is inappropriate, Your Majesty, please don’t be offended . Jiang Weicheng, it’s you! Hey, he’s not going to suddenly kiss me, is he? You should know better. Hey, you should know better . I’m so silly. Hey, what are we learning today? What is Your Majesty doing ? Dear sisters, I’ve kept you waiting. Starting today, our first pregnancy class in the harem will officially begin. Well, before that, I want to ask you all a rather heavy question. How long has it been since you had sex? I’ve been pregnant for 8 months. I’ve only seen the Emperor for eight months, but it’s been two years since I last saw him. Shun Palace is so lonely! The Emperor hasn’t visited my palace for 359 days. There are 562 bricks in my palace, and I’ve touched each one countless times. 81 of them already have fine marks. There are even Shu bricks here ! But it’s okay! Today, I’m here to arrange a pregnancy ceremony for everyone , guaranteeing that each of you will see the Emperor at least once a month. Cui Cui is handing out a form. Oh, there are words too! Not bad! This book is really novel! Yes, yes! Before that, please look at the PPT. This “green safe period” means you can get pregnant . The red danger period means you cannot serve the Emperor. As long as everyone follows my calculated birth plan, I guarantee that by this time next year, each of you will have a chubby, adorable baby. That’s wonderful! Is the child that pink, tender, and cute little one? Hmm,
which woman in the palace doesn’t want a child? If you have a child, you won’t be bored in the palace! We, your humble servants , will humbly obey Her Majesty’s teachings and follow Her Majesty’s lead. Heh, a harmonious harem is easy! Your Majesty, which concubine’s nameplate will you choose today ? What is this? This is the harem’s night-serving card designed by Her Majesty. The one in your hand is for rest. Si, please explain. You should take care of your health. Oh, and this man is over 25, which is 65. Today, I suggest Your Majesty rest and recuperate. Jiang Wantang , Health Consultant of the Harem Fertility Organization. Hmph, go to the Empress’s palace . What? You’re already pregnant? Yes, sister! I painstakingly studied the 36 methods for preparing for pregnancy you gave me last time. This book is really amazing! I only went to the Imperial Garden once and the Emperor got pregnant. Sister, you’re so good to me. The first case in the harem! It seems the Emperor’s quality is not bad. Oh, by the way, baby, you must be very careful about your pregnancy. I ‘ll prescribe some medicine to prevent miscarriage and have Cui’er send it to you later. Okay. Also, it’s best not to tell anyone about your pregnancy yet. I think it’s better to wait until the pregnancy is stable before saying anything. However, all concubines in the harem must report their pregnancies so that the Imperial Hospital and the Imperial Kitchen can accurately report them. “I’ll listen to my sister since she’s said so. Hmm , the Emperor has arrived. Since the Emperor is here, I won’t disturb you and my sister. Isn’t today a day off? What’s he doing here? Hmm, I’ve met Your Majesty. Your Majesty and Empress seem to dislike my presence. Hmm, no, no, Your Majesty, please sit down. Hmm, does the Empress not want to say anything? Hmm, Your Majesty, of course, should prioritize your health. It’s unrealistic to have a full schedule every month. Do you really think I’m a stud ? Yes , no, no, no , hehe. Your Majesty, I suggest Your Majesty do 50 sets of squats every day to improve your physique . Empress, where did you learn this tactic of vying for favor ? Your Majesty misunderstands me. This is based on the Yellow Emperor’s Inner Classic’s Meridian Flow Theory. I’m a good person, Your Majesty. I really just hope that all the sisters in the harem can avoid palace intrigue and vying for favor, and that everyone can have their own child. What is this? Hmm, this is a tonic soup.” “You want to drink the ‘ infertility-preventing soup’ ? You dare to drink it ? You’re so arrogant! Ginger soup! Oh, Consort Xiao’s cat, why did it run out at this time ? Maybe it heard the mother cat’s voice and ran out. Hmm, Your Majesty, this cat smells so good. Jiang Wantang, Your Majesty , should I prescribe another medicine for you ? No, Your Majesty, do you know what I want to supplement most right now? This mixed military family Teddy? Stop! Your
Majesty , my period has started. Hmm, why is it starting at this time ? Uh, no, it’s my period . Your Majesty’s period has come just in time! Your Majesty, your medicine is ready ! Good, I’ll drink it right away. The medicine Your Majesty gave is really good ; it’s not bitter at all. It seems Your Majesty trusts the Empress very much.” Mother, that’s all in the past. Her Majesty the Empress is now so worried about the pregnancies of her sisters in the harem. Hmm, I heard yesterday that my sister is pregnant, and today it’s true! But I wonder if what my sister drank was the Empress’s goodwill or poison. Sister, don’t forget how jealous and domineering the Empress was before ; how could she suddenly become reasonable? Don’t talk nonsense . Yesterday, Her Majesty the Empress handled everything so meticulously regarding the pregnancies of her sisters in the harem . Now the palace is much more peaceful . Don’t cause trouble . Yes, the Empress is now the palace’s goddess of fertility; everyone fawns over her. Hmph, I just don’t know that even goddesses have their moments of weakness. Don’t be so sour; wait until my child is born … “I must recognize the Empress as my godmother , haha! Then I wish my sister and her child a safe journey! Ah! Your Majesty! Your Majesty! Someone come quickly! Someone come to save her! Ah! Your Majesty ! Something’s wrong! She’s sick and miscarried! What ?! Bao’er, Bao’er! Xiao Cui, go prepare hot water and gauze! I need to use my lightness skill! Hmm! You poisonous woman! You still want to touch Shang Bao’er! Your Majesty, I saw with my own eyes that Bao’er drank the medicine prescribed by the Empress , which caused the miscarriage! Now she won’t even spare a stillborn child ! Hmph ! Jiang Wantang! Shang Bao’er drank your medicine and that’s why she’s in trouble! I demand an explanation! The most important thing right now is Shang Bao’er’s life! Every minute you delay, her chance of survival is gone! I’ll interrogate you later, but wait until I’ve saved her. Where are all the imperial physicians? It’s your turn, you murderer!” Shut up, stop barking! You’re the only troublemaker in the whole harem . Get out of here, Your Majesty! If you want the truth, wait for me to save people first. Time waits for no one. Do you think I’ll still believe you? My dear sister , wake up! The person who hurt you is right in front of you ! Ahhhhh ! Oh no! His pupils are dilated! It’s a clotting disorder! What did he eat this morning? What else could it be but your secret recipe? Hmph! Come on, gentlemen, smell this musky scent! Isn’t it very strong? Your Majesty, this medicine does indeed contain saffron and musk. Consort Xiao, you really have a good nose! When did you learn pharmacology? You can smell it right away! I just read it in a book recently. That’s just blind man telling stories, utter nonsense ! The whole harem… Who doesn’t know you’ve been practicing your zither skills so diligently to win favor? Where would you find the time to read? Besides, I’m just writing a prescription. With so many people handling the dispensing, preparation, and delivery, how would I know if some villain secretly added musk or safflower? Your concubines’ pregnancies and medication records are kept, so why isn’t there a record for Bao’er? And why was medicine prescribed for her? Hmph, everyone in the harem knows you’re incredibly jealous . How could you possibly have good intentions ? Your Majesty, actually, the Empress was already over two months pregnant at the time , and she knew about it. She told the Empress not to announce the pregnancy to the outside world for the time being. I was afraid someone would harm her. Can you please explain yourself clearly? You can’t just say whatever you want. That day… “Your Majesty, are you the one who put this under your control? Stop changing the subject! I think you ‘re the one who did it! Last night, I saw with my own eyes that the Empress put something in the pregnancy-preserving medicine ! Can you please stop talking nonsense?! Do you even know what the crime of slandering the Empress is? Enough already! Jiang Wantang , I thought you had changed , but you’ve only become more and more ruthless! You actually killed my son! What else do you have to say? I’m going to watch a palace drama! It’s true what they say, I’m completely speechless ! You dog of an emperor, you’re completely unrepentant! You believe such an obvious frame-up! I admit, what they said was quite exciting , but it was full of loopholes. If I didn’t want Shang Bao’er to compete for the Emperor’s favor , why would I help her get pregnant? If I wanted to harm the prince , how could I…” Maybe I ‘m that stupid. I ‘ll personally write the prescription and keep the evidence. And that guy who just accused me of poisoning her—no, wait, sister, are you alright ? I’m the Empress! You’re framing the Empress? Don’t you want your brain? Or do you think that person is of higher status than me? Who are you trying to scare? The Empress is subject to the same laws as commoners . Shut up and stop barking! Your Majesty, Bao’er’s life is in danger. Please allow me to treat her first. You can interrogate her after the treatment is over. Who knows if you’re trying to kill her to cover your tracks and destroy the evidence? Shut up! Do you have the right to bark like a dog when I speak ? Your Majesty, I swear that if I, Jiang Wantang, have even the slightest intention to harm Bao’er, I request to be deposed and left to guard the imperial tombs alone for a hundred years . The Jiang family will only have titles left. Having a member of the Jiang family, who holds no real power, as empress would be entirely beneficial to the court. Jiang Wantang would never submit to such a humble position. Jiang Wantang, do you even know what you’re saying? The position of empress is not to be trifled with! Take back your vow now! I guarantee your position will remain unchanged ! Your Majesty, I’m willing to gamble my empress position , betting that my hands can snatch life from the jaws of death! My Jiangcheng gynecology department is in full swing, and my subordinates cannot afford any defeat! You are utterly stubborn! Your Majesty, seeing the empress’s sincerity , let her try! Your Majesty, I will bear all the consequences! That is a secret medicine from the Western Regions, the Heart-Piercing Powder. Those poisoned will experience lower abdominal pain, and within an hour, the fetus will be expelled with blood. The mother will suffer from infection and die from heart disease. You are Hua Tuo, after all? Even if she were alive, she would be powerless to save him . Using the Empress’s position to save an insignificant concubine, Jiang Wantang, you are truly foolish. Everyone, please step aside. Let’s go. Cui Cui, go prepare the sheep intestine gloves. Then use alcohol and hot water to sterilize the scissors, cleaver, alcohol needle, and pliers. Quickly, Your Majesty, a strong person, never complains about the environment. I, a dignified medical expert, am not limited by these conditions. Today, I will show you the power of modern medicine. Hmph, scalpel , remove the notoginseng powder and mugwort ash, pretending to be something I’m not. Hmm, you all stay here and take good care of Shang Ping . The rest of you, call me anytime if you need anything. Hmm, ah, ah, ah. Consort Xiao, you like to watch so much, come in here. Look, be generous! Let go of me , you precious princess, so presumptuous! Hmph, your precious princess’s life is life, but Shang Bao’er’s life isn’t? Come in here and watch , let go, let go! Consort Xiao’s cat, why did it run out at this time? Maybe it heard the mother cat’s voice. The sound just came out, Your Majesty. This cat smells so good! Bao’er smells the same way. Could it be that Consort Xiao, what kind of perfume are you wiping on your sleeves? What’s it to you? You’d better not cause me any trouble. If you dare touch my patient, I’ll throw you into the moat when I’m done . Hmph, go get me the needle. Come here and smell this. What is this? This is the Western Regions drug, Falling Star Powder. You really have a good nose. I originally thought the poisoner only added a simple abortifacient with musk and saffron. I didn’t expect that person didn’t intend to spare Bao’er’s life . Cui Cui, come here for a moment. You can go now . Hmph , how is the situation upstairs? Your Majesty , Consort Sheng, I’m afraid … Bao’er , you’re so unlucky! If it weren’t for the Empress forcibly healing you, how could you have died? My poor Bao’er , hahaha. I beg Your Majesty to severely punish the Empress. The concubines in the harem are most afraid of incurring the wrath of the masses. Jiang Wantang, you’re doomed this time! Did you really intend to rebel? Your Majesty, please calm down ! Your Majesty, my beloved Bao’er, Doukou, entered the palace and was like a sister to me. Now she’s fallen victim to the Empress’s cruel hand. First, she harmed the imperial fetus , then she killed someone. The Empress is so vicious! Your Majesty , you must avenge Bao’er! Shang Bao’er, don’t blame me for being ruthless; who told you to side with that good-for-nothing Jiang Wantang? What has become of Consort Shang? Consort Shang was already on the verge of death. The Emperor and Empress swore that if they couldn’t save Consort Shang, they would be deposed and left to guard the imperial tombs alone for a hundred years. Now Consort Shang is gone. As the saying goes, a gentleman’s word is as good as his bond. Your Majesty , I humbly beseech you , for the sake of the harem and the realm, to issue an edict to depose the Empress and punish her . The Empress is poisoned by the Heart-Piercing Powder, for no one can cure her. With Jiang Wantang dead , and given Your Majesty’s favor towards me, the Empress’s position should rightfully be mine. Jiang Wantang is the one who caused Consort Shang’s miscarriage; you are truly the one who caused her. Deposing the Empress is a grave matter, not a trivial matter . Even if Your Majesty orders my death today, I must speak out for my sisters in the harem. If the Empress is not severely punished today, the harem will be filled with unease. Your Majesty, please do not let one person ‘s actions chill the hearts of your sisters and cause turmoil in the court! Oh, so selfless! Jiang Wantang, what are you doing here ? Surprised? Should n’t you be in the upper chambers? What’s it to you? What business is it of yours? Your Majesty, Jiang Wantang, he’s too arrogant. He must know he can’t save Consort Shang, so he sent palace maids to buy time for her escape . Fool, fleeing to escape punishment, your crime is compounded ! Jiang Wantang, just wait to be deposed! Hey, you think you’re so clever? What exactly happened to the Empress? Your Majesty , the imperial physician and I discovered that the pregnancy wasn’t just caused by safflower and musk in her medicine. The culprit was poison. That person didn’t just want to harm the prince alone, but two lives lost. Jiang Wantang, even on the verge of death, still dares to argue! Your Majesty, the matter is settled . You must make your decision quickly! I haven’t finished speaking yet, what’s the rush? Get out of my way ! Your Majesty, I discovered that the dregs of the medicine Consort Shang took not only contained saffron and musk , but also a deadly poison: the Western Regions secret medicine, Falling Star Powder. How could Jiang Wantang possibly know about Falling Star Powder ? This is impossible! How could the Western Regions key, Falling Star Powder, appear in this harem? I remember that Consort Xiao’s cousin, General Xiao, has been stationed on the frontier for many years . If I remember correctly, he often travels to the Western Regions! Your Majesty, I have wronged my brother! Although he often goes to the Western Regions and brings me some trinkets, it’s just for fun. Poison, poison, absolutely impossible! “Entering the harem, Your Majesty! I need to borrow Fugui for a moment, I’ll return it immediately! Oh , go away! Go away! Go away! Go away! Oops, sorry, I used a bit too much force . Give me my jade landscape plaque ! Your Majesty, smell this cat’s fur. Doesn’t it smell exactly like Consort Xiao ? Maybe it ran out because it heard the mother cat’s meow. Oh , Your Majesty, this cat smells so good! Could it be that it harmed Consort Shang? Hmph, Your Majesty, I’ve already asked the imperial physician. Falling Star Powder… this stuff is colorless and odorless when taken , but before using it, the smell is incredibly strong. Once you touch it, the smell won’t dissipate for at least ten days to half a month. That night, let’s get to the point…” Oh, I see. That day, Fugui the raccoon cat came over late at night. I initially thought it was the cat in heat , but now it seems he was attracted by my “Infertility Soup.” Infertility Soup … you mean… haha, of course, that’s not the most important thing. The important thing is that this soup contains Hua Mantian , which can suppress the toxicity of the “Heart-Dropping Powder.” ” Exchange Soup”… Nonsense! Your Majesty, Jiang Wantang, you’re slandering your concubine! Your Majesty and Empress, how dare you, a mere concubine, interrupt? Jiang Wantang, you vile woman, I will never let you get away with this! Animals find their own antidote when they’re injured. So, Fugui accidentally contracted the “Falling Star Powder” poison at Consort Xiao’s place that day, and thought he was going to die… “So you came to my palace to find the antidote, that’s why Your Majesty encountered me. Your Majesty, please investigate! I burn incense in my palace year-round , perhaps it has stained my clothes. I have wronged Your Majesty , Your Majesty. I have no grudge against you, why would you frame me? I knew you would say that. The Western Regions’ Falling Star Powder turns sour when heated, we’ll know as soon as we burn it ! Ah ! Let me go! Let me go! Hmm, Consort Xiao, is there anything else to explain? No, no , Your Majesty, no! When did this lowly woman become so powerful? Your Majesty , this is indeed Falling Star Powder, without a doubt. Consort Xiao, how dare you! Your Majesty, it must be the Imperial Physician and the Empress conspiring to frame me. That’s right , who knows what they’re plotting? The Xiao family is all-powerful because of their military power . Consort Xiao has been in the palace for many years , relying on my favor, doing whatever she wants in the harem. Perhaps this is a good opportunity to teach the Xiao family a lesson. I am willing to give my head and my life…” ” Reputation guarantees this scent is indeed the ‘ Heart – Falling Powder ‘ ! ” ( The following is a series of seemingly unrelated phrases and sentences , likely from different sources . ) “Your Majesty , I couldn’t protect her! Consort Xiao hesitated, then remained silent, confined for three months, and fined two years’ salary. Is this all? The matter is closed, and no one in the palace is allowed to utter a single word. A life has been so easily dismissed! Your Majesty , it was clearly Consort Xiao who harmed her; Chun Tao was merely a scapegoat. How can you let it go so hastily? Empress , I said this matter is over! I refuse to accept this! Your Majesty, you have slandered me with baseless accusations and are still relentlessly pursuing me! What have I done to offend you? Must you force me to this ? Do you want me to atone with my death? Then… then… I ‘ll …” Come here, come here! You, you, you keep bumping into me here and there! Doesn’t it hurt? Come here ! Enough ! Hmph! Your Majesty, you are the ruler of the world, revered by all . Aren’t you afraid of chilling the hearts of the people with such recklessness ? Jiang Wentao, how dare you question me! What’s going on? The Jiang Wentao of the past never questioned my decisions . How come you’re so quick-witted now ? Hmph! You did something wrong, and now you won’t let me say it? Empress, don’t push your luck! Hmph! I’m pushing my luck! Consort Shang is awake! What about the Consort Shang? How is she now? The Consort says she only wants to see the Empress. My precious mother… Mother, my child , my baby, you lost too much blood and couldn’t save the baby . It can’t be! It can’t be! This morning he was still in my belly, I even heard him move! Don’t move! You ‘re still so weak. Your medical skills are so high, you must still have a way, right? Please save my child! I beg you, my baby! This poisoning is too severe, it ‘s damaged your very foundation. I’m afraid it will be very difficult for you to conceive again. It was Consort Xiao Shu, it was him! He harmed me! He came to my palace today, he saw me drink the medicine with his own eyes. He must have tampered with my medicine! How could I have trusted him so easily? He harmed me! My child, he ruined my life, my darling. Don’t worry, he owes you, I will make him pay tenfold. But
for now , I can’t touch him. I’m not reconciled, I’m not reconciled. Come, you should rest first. Leave the rest to me, Your Majesty. Consort Xiao thinks she can just find a maid to take the blame and that’s it? Hmph , how naive! Hmm , Xiao Cui, go and investigate which imperial physicians Consort Xiao has been associating with recently, especially those who understand Western Region pharmacology. Your Majesty , you think she likes to poison people? Then I’ll let her taste what it means to reap what you sow, Your Majesty. Hmph, what are you fussing about? Your Majesty, the medicine sent by Imperial Physician Wang has reached the Empress and saved Shang Bao’er, so what? The Emperor still dotes on me. I’ll be confined for three months, then I’ll teach that bitch a lesson! The Empress sent some tonics, supposedly to calm your nerves . Why would she be so kind ? Does she really think I’d drink something she sent ? This fragrance is off ! Ahhh! A Luo Xing umbrella ! Your Majesty, your pulse is erratic , it seems your blood is flowing backwards! You useless thing! I was just dizzy from anger, but in your mouth it sounds like I’m about to die ! Even a pillow is being bullied! What are you laughing at? Laugh again and I’ll kill you all, Jiang Wantang! This must be your doing! You just wait! Sisters , let’s all turn the pages now! Look carefully on page 7 ! This position is the easiest to conceive! There’s something fishy going on ! There’s something fishy going on! There’s something fishy going on! There ‘s something fishy going on! Hahaha! Why is Consort Xiao fighting with a cat ? Maybe she suddenly had a change of heart and started to love animals! Hahaha! Everyone in the palace knows that Consort Xiao plotted to harm Shang Bao’er. The Emperor only let it go because he was concerned about the Xiao family’s status. But if Consort Xiao is not in her right mind, how could the harem tolerate her? This method may not be able to bring down Consort Xiao , but if it can make her disappear for a while , that would be good. Okay, everyone, let’s continue the lesson. Next, we’ll see the pelvis… Your Majesty… Your Majesty… Your Majesty, Your Majesty, I need to invite a Taoist priest! This palace is haunted! Your Majesty, my beloved concubine is reading a storybook again! Your Majesty, it’s really true! Your Majesty, I’ve been choking on my food lately, falling while walking, and even choking on water while bathing! Ah, no, no! Guards, drag Consort Xiao out ! It’s the Empress Dowager ! I can’t stand this harem for a second longer! Jiang Wantang, that poisonous woman ! Alright, you’ve been having bad luck lately. Go to the Jingxin Nunnery for a few months. But if you cause any more trouble, you’ll be sent to the Cold Palace! Why is there a cat meowing ? Sister, don’t worry, I’ll take good care of your tabby cat in the palace . Jiang Wantang, you just wait! When I return, I’ll skin you alive ! Come on, sisters, look carefully! This is the Shenshu acupoint. During pregnancy, you often experience lower back pain. Pressing this will relieve it. Use light pressure , like drawing circles, for 15 minutes each morning and evening. Remember, it’s better to be gentle than forceful. The fetus is delicate and can’t withstand vigorous rubbing. Oh, Your Majesty, it really feels much better! You’re amazing! Your Majesty, my lower back has been bothering me lately. Is it because my massage technique is wrong? Could you demonstrate it again? Okay! Look closely, hey, this and this… The important thing is the position and the pressure, it must be light. Like this… Can you feel the muscles under your fingers relaxing? It feels really good, right? Okay, stop. Do it like this, do it with me . The Empress has been quite busy lately. Your Majesty, the Empress is concerned about the sisters in the harem and has opened this prenatal care training class. All the ladies are grateful for the Empress’s kindness and are learning very diligently. Yes, that’s right, baby, you should try it too. He is very attentive to these concubines, even neglecting me. Your Majesty, back to the Imperial Study . Your Majesty , it’s time to choose a consort. The Empress has given the order. Press this one, the one marked in red… Today, your offspring’s activity level and environmental compatibility are at their best. Hmm, it’s him. This is Consort Zhang . The Empress Dowager said that Consort Zhang recently told me that this servant was going to deliver the imperial decree. What was he doing collecting the Emperor’s tea stains ? What kind of operation is this? Your Majesty , Consort Shang, Your Majesty, before I understood, I was only thinking about helping them to improve their health and get pregnant, but I forgot that Bao’er just lost her child. She is suffering from psychological trauma. Your Majesty, what should we do? It seems that psychological counseling must be arranged. Hmm, Your Majesty, Bao’er recently… uh, recently, the beauties in the harem have been clamoring for me to teach them to write, but their writing is soft and lacks strength. Consort Ling’s writing is clever , but it lacks structure. The Empress Dowager thinks that she should guide them. What does this have to do with me? I’m not the Grand Tutor , hahaha. Your Majesty, you are wise… “Your Majesty, I am truly talented, but calligraphy is of little use to me. The health of my sisters in the harem is far more important! I recently discovered on this platform that I have acquired several rare books from the Western Regions. The text is difficult to understand, and the content seems related to the path Your Majesty is studying. Hmm, since Your Majesty is so engrossed in this field , why not take a look at some Western Region gynecological texts ? Wow , this is a discussion on the relationship between pelvic structure and childbirth ! And this… this is a nutritional guide for pregnancy and postpartum psychological counseling ! My goodness, did they have these in ancient times? Your Majesty, you have some knowledge ! Actually, Your Majesty, look at this picture ! This picture is so well drawn! It’s simply a treasure! Hahaha! I’ve hinted so obviously, yet he only cares about these shabby books.” Enough! Empress, besides these pearl-producing techniques , is there any room for me? I… I have state affairs to attend to. Step aside , Your Majesty. I take my leave. Take your books so they don’t soil my place. Hmph , what’s wrong with this dog emperor? Hmph, Your Majesty’s thoughts are so obvious, how can Your Majesty not see them? Empress , Lady Xiao has left the palace for further studies, so the harem is now relatively peaceful. You have managed the harem quite well, and the concubines praise you highly. Mother, you flatter me. It’s because the sisters are united . However, the stability of the harem ultimately depends on offspring, on the legitimate son . As the Empress, inheriting the ancestral temple’s incense offerings is of paramount importance. His Majesty has been visiting your palace frequently these past few days. How come I didn’t know you did ? Of course you didn’t know. “Your Majesty, you’ve always been asleep by the time you come . Your Majesty is so busy with state affairs, I dare not disturb you too much. You must also put in more effort. I see His Majesty treats you differently than before. This is your opportunity . While helping the concubines conceive is important , it is the Empress’s duty to give birth to a legitimate son for His Majesty. You should also use your methods to aid fertility on yourself. Yes, Mother is right. I will certainly do my best. However, pregnancy and childbirth are a matter for two people; it can’t be done by me alone. Your Majesty may be slightly unwell lately, and with your busy schedule and irregular sleep patterns, the quality of your pregnancy may also be affected. What’s wrong with me? Jiang Wantang , you have such audacity ! Oh no! Oh no! How could it be such a coincidence? Your Majesty , Your Majesty…” “Saying the Emperor needs recuperation , haha! I think the Empress has been living too leisurely. Her mind is full of these filthy words. Go back to your Phoenix Palace! From this moment on, copy the ‘Admonitions for Women’ a hundred times . You are not allowed to step out of the palace gates until you finish copying them. I want to see if the Empress still knows what rules and etiquette are after copying these hundred times. Oh dear, haha ! Empress, you child! Oh well , go back to copying the book. Hmm, what’s the use of copying this rubbish? It’s a waste of time . Your Majesty, please calm down. The Emperor is in a bad mood , and what you said was indeed… well, a bit shocking. Well, I’m telling the truth. From a scientific point of view, he’s been under so much pressure lately, his dark circles are so heavy, and his sleep schedule is so irregular.” Always getting inexplicably angry must be affecting my state of mind. Ugh , I’m not going to copy the *Admonitions for Women* anymore. I’ll take advantage of this confinement to organize and write down my insights and inspirations from the Western Region medical book I read yesterday, as well as the case studies I’ve accumulated. Hmm, I should also include Bao’er’s situation. Hmm, Eunuch Hai just received an urgent message that General Xiao is returning to the capital to report on his duties. He’s already fifty li outside the capital and should arrive by noon tomorrow. Several officials in the court who are on good terms with the Xiao family are preparing to jointly petition the court tomorrow for Consort Xiao. I understand. Hmm, these are turbulent times, Your Majesty. Your Majesty , the Xiao family’s situation is about to become even more murky. Quickly, come with me to report to the Emperor! Your Majesty, this flavor is far too strong! Are you really going to send this to the Emperor? Hmm, the Emperor is also in a bad mood. And didn’t you say the Emperor has a deficiency in that area? Is this medicine really effective? Shh, keep your voice down. The flavor is a bit off, but the formula is absolutely correct. It’s a secret formula from the Eleven Materia Medica, plus a few of my improved warming and tonifying herbs , strengthening the body , nourishing the vital energy, harmonizing Yin and Yang , specifically for treating mental exhaustion and poor health . Well, as long as the Emperor is willing to drink it, I guarantee he’ll be full of energy and vigor . Let’s see how he recovers! You dare to flip through my book ? Humph, Coco, what if the Emperor gets even angrier? This medicine looks terrifying! Oh dear, you have to try it, firstly to apologize, and secondly… well, Bao’er’s condition isn’t stable yet . Anping and the others are in their crucial months. I can’t stay confined here forever. My sisters in the harem need me. I ‘ll fight for my career! Oh dear, let’s go ! Cui Cui, come with me to deliver warmth. Report to the Emperor and Empress that they request an audience, saying they have important business. I’m bathing , so they should wait . Humph, they remember me now. Humph, just wait! Your Majesty, Your Majesty, Your Majesty, I have urgent business to discuss with you . Guan Long, are you in good health? I’m going to see your abs and V-line! Your figure is more perfect than the specimens in medical school anatomical atlases ! Wait, what am I thinking? Jiao Wantao , who gave you permission to come in? Get out ! Your Majesty, you…you’ve misunderstood! I came to deliver medicine ! Jiang Wantang, how dare you! You dare to commit such an act of murder while I’m bathing! Guards ! Yes, seize him! Immediately , strip him of his golden seal and phoenix register , confine him to the Phoenix Palace! No one is allowed to visit him without my decree! Those who disobey will be executed ! Ugh, this is it! Completely ruined ! I can’t clear my name even if I jump into the Yellow River! Humph ! Let’s go! Let’s go! Let’s go! Your Majesty, what should we do? Your Majesty… Ci Zhen was furious and even confiscated the golden seal and edict, claiming it was an order to kill the emperor. This charge is unacceptable; I can’t be trapped here. Bao’er needs regular checkups, and Anping’s baby position hasn’t been adjusted yet . Also, my several newly arrived sisters’ pregnancy plans are in progress. Hmm, Xiao Cui, can you get this for me ? Okay, here you go. You help me fly the kite, the higher the better! Higher, higher! Let the wind carry the message out. Half a month has passed. How’s the Empress doing ? She ‘s practically begging me to release her . Reporting to Your Majesty, the secret guards report: There’s something unusual in Fengyi Palace. The Empress is flying a kite. Flying a kite… Hmm, she’s in quite a mood. Confined to your quarters yet still playing around , hmm , oh dear, very good . Confined to your quarters yet still preoccupied with arranging evidence to plant the seed of Jiang Wantang, you really are incorrigible. Imperial Physician Wang, how should I deal with my body? My period is late, and I’m always dizzy, nauseous, and sweating profusely at night. Could there really be something wrong with the feng shui of this wretched place ? Hmm, Your Majesty, please forgive this old minister for speaking frankly, but your pulse is weak and slow. It’s not due to the feng shui of this Yantang, nor is it due to irregular menstruation or a cold. What do you mean? Explain yourself, Your Majesty, you… you clearly have a pregnancy pulse! That night at the ancestral hall, you said you would make me Empress , but now I haven’t even become Empress. Do you cry like this when Mu Xuanqing touches you ? Oh, don’t worry, the Emperor will definitely bring you back to the palace in less than two months. Now serve your brother well! Ah, no, impossible! You’re talking nonsense! This is impossible! I’m in quiet meditation at the Jingxin Nunnery . How could this be? How could there be blood? I’ve taken birth control pills every time. How could I be pregnant? Your Majesty, this old minister has practiced medicine for decades. I can’t diagnose a heart condition incorrectly. Your Majesty, if you don’t believe me, you can find someone else. No, Imperial Physician Wang, you’re my brother’s person! You’re here! You’re here! I was given a heart-stopping drug by the Empress before. Do you think this could be a false alarm caused by the heart-stopping drug? Your Majesty, the pulse shows the fetal movement is slightly… The apparent weakness and lingering foundation do not necessarily indicate impending doom . As for the “Falling Star Powder,” this old minister dares to speculate that the dosage Your Majesty ingested was somehow neutralized, preventing the full effects of the poison . Instead, it disrupted your menstrual cycle, preventing you from realizing you were pregnant! Your Majesty , hahaha! A concubine conceiving outside the marriage is a capital offense! How did Jiang Wantang find out? You poisonous woman , you used such despicable means to harm me! I believe I will fight you to the death! The fallopian tube ligation point and the thickness of the uterine wall at this location should provide good protection with amniotic sac isolation ; the success rate of contraception should increase by 30%. It’s just that the material degradation will take some time. Jiang Wenteng, oh my god, what are you doing again, Your Majesty? Why are you here ? Uh… this concubine is conducting an experiment… research… research … research on how to cut off my offspring! Jiang Wantang, you’re so unwilling to bear my child? You’d rather face this bloody corpse than become my words? How does he know what I’m researching? This isn’t about cutting off someone’s offspring; it’s contraception , a guarantee, to give the sisters in the harem the right to choose when their bodies aren’t ready or they no longer want to endure the pain of childbirth. This harem isn’t just about bearing your child. How dare you! What a fine way to say you’re helping other sisters, what a single-minded way to say you’re not focused on anything else! In your eyes, I’m just a tool for sowing seeds! This Phoenix Palace is your medical clinic! Stay here and behave yourself! Don’t step out without my order! I never want to see you or any of you again! Oh, what’s going on? Chief , the Emperor is furious! Empress, should we withdraw our guards here? Quickly gather the most capable personnel, on duty for 12 hours a day! ” Guard the Fengyi Palace and secretly protect the Empress. Kill any unauthorized persons who approach . Also, clean the courtyard before dawn. Do not move any tools or writing on the table. Remember, do not let the Empress notice. Clean and protect. But Your Majesty, you are clearly carrying out orders. Remember, if there is the slightest mistake, you will be executed . Yes, Your Majesty. My child, my child, where is my child? Hahaha, Xiao Jingyi , give me back my child! You killed my child. I will kill you. I will kill you! Ah , Bao’er, put down the weapon! Your Majesty , Xiao Jingyi, this poisonous woman , she killed our child . She is in this palace. I will kill her. I will avenge our child. Let me go. Take him down. Do n’t hurt him. Send him back. Order the imperial physician to administer sedatives. Send more people to guard him . There must be no mistakes. Yes, let me go. Yes, Your Majesty, Your Majesty, Your Majesty, something bad has happened! Consort Shang has gone mad in Qingyi Palace ! Your Majesty, you are injured ! Bao’er, he… did he hurt you? How is he? I am fine, just a minor injury. Why are you here instead of being confined to the Fengyi Palace ? I heard the commotion and I am worried that something has happened to Bao’er.” ” I just happened to be passing by today and found that Consort Shang was somewhat frightened, but the imperial physician has already been summoned . You must immediately return to Fengyi Palace. Without my decree, you are not to leave even a step. Escort the Empress back. Yes, I was just passing by. There’s such a large patch of blood on her sleeve. Are you kidding me? You’re all talk and no action. Your Majesty, I , Xiao Yuanshan, led 150,000 elite troops to guard the border for three years. Now that I have returned to the capital, I have heard that the harem is filled with bewitching women. Empress Jiang does not cultivate virtue and uses witchcraft to bewitch the people. She speaks recklessly about childbirth , desecrating the heavenly veins , and even commits bloody acts without dissection, desecrating the gods. Such a sorceress is a scourge to the country.” The people humbly beseech Your Majesty to abolish the penal code to secure the nation! Abolishing it? He wants to abolish the penal code? What is he thinking? How is this possible? Your Majesty, General Xiao’s words are not unfounded . We , your subjects, jointly impeach Empress Jiang, who uses medicine as a pretext to practice witchcraft, bewitching the concubines and disrupting the harem. Her methods of preparing for pregnancy are filthy and attract evil spirits. We humbly request Your Majesty to make an example of her. We second your request to depose Empress Xiao Yuanshan. This is clearly a coup attempt ! Your Majesty, what we have done is not witchcraft , but medical practice to save lives. A woman’s childbirth is a natural right; why resort to such evil and crooked methods? ” Pelvic ovulation is all slander! How dare she soak the palace in blood ! Your Majesty, this woman is a sorcerer who bewitches the people; keeping her will surely bring great trouble! Your Majesty, the Empress not only uses witchcraft but also harbors treacherous intentions. She uses the guise of medicine to win over concubines, form cliques, and interfere in politics. The chaos of the past dynasty is not far off! Your Majesty , yes, sorcery and interference by the empress’s relatives ! General Xiao, you have just returned from your arduous journey and are so concerned about the affairs of state, I am very pleased. However, to accuse the Empress of being a sorcerer without any evidence is too arbitrary! The sorcery you keep talking about is this! Hmph, Imperial Censor Zhao, you are well-read , can you recognize the words and the diagrams above? My beloved ministers , tell me, is what is recorded here a spell to gather yin and attract evil , or a good remedy to cure diseases and save lives? It turns out he really read these things carefully! Your Majesty, my lords, if you do not believe that my art is to save lives, not harm them , I am willing to test it in the palace to prove my innocence! So, you sorcerer, do you still want to commit bloody acts in this Golden Wheel Palace?” General Xiao, are you afraid that my technique will work and expose the slander against Your Majesty? Your Majesty, I request that this sow, who is in difficult labor, be brought to the palace for a cesarean section to remove her offspring. If it fails, I am willing to die. Please depose me, Your Majesty. Look, this sow is breech and the labor is too long. She is unable to deliver naturally. If this technique fails, it will surely result in multiple deaths. Now, the surgery begins . Avoid major blood vessels and cut the uterine wall. Be careful to protect the fetus. You must be very careful in this place. If you are not careful, it will become a roast suckling pig. Ouch, it’s taken out . It ‘s dead. It’s dead. It’s dead. Oh dear . Hahahaha . Two heads, three heads . Hmm, look. Hahaha. Oh dear, it hurts so much. Ouch. Surgery completed . The sow’s vital signs are stable. Five piglets survived. Mother and children are safe. Good. A cesarean section to remove the offspring . This is a life-saving divine technique. It can rival the power of heaven and earth. Your Majesty, this technique should be recorded in the Imperial Medical Academy and spread throughout the world. It will save my Great Yin Dynasty. Thousands of women in difficult labor. The Empress will be Gong Qiu. Thousands of Xiao Yuanshan, what else do you have to say? General Xiao, do you still claim I’m a sorceress practicing witchcraft? Is this method of saving lives filthy or heretical ? Who knows what kind of sorcery you used? Trying to fool people with a pig? Enough already! In the Imperial Palace, I’ll tolerate your nonsense. The Empress’s methods of saving lives and helping the world are witnessed by Heaven and Earth. Anyone who dares to speak ill of the Empress again, slandering her as a sorceress, is attempting rebellion. General Xiao, you’ve worked hard on the frontier; go home and rest. Imperial decree: The Empress is benevolent and skilled in medicine, saving lives and thus deserving a reward of ten thousand taels of gold and a white silk robe. The obstetrics and medical techniques the Empress has studied will be handed over to the Imperial Hospital for compilation and filing. The best parts will be widely disseminated throughout the land to save the people. The Emperor is wise. Thank you, Your Majesty. Thank you, Empress Dowager. Your humble servant will certainly do her utmost. Hmph, Your Majesty , you’re amazing! Delivering a baby in the Imperial Palace made that old scoundrel Xiao’s face turn green with rage! Hahaha, let’s see if they dare call Your Majesty a sorceress! Your Majesty, please teach us how to perform a cesarean section! Can we learn what kind of C- section ? C -section ? Oh yes, yes, of course we can learn C- section, but we have to do it step by step. Hmm, let me show you a treasure. This is my improved version of the “Pregnancy Stick,” faster and more accurate than the imperial physician’s pulse diagnosis. Put a drop in with your first pee in the morning; if it turns blue, that means you’re pregnant! Quick, quick, one for each of you! Take it home and try it
! Your Majesty, if the Emperor finds out you’ve been tinkering with this
… This is our internal benefit! Besides, the Emperor is so busy with state affairs, he doesn’t have time for this! Yes, yes, Cui’er, you should take one too , just in case you need it later. Hmm, I don’t want one, Your Majesty, take it! Hehe, Your Majesty, how do you measure this pelvic model? Come here, put your hand here… Oh dear, your pelvic condition is definitely the king of natural childbirth! I’ll arrange it for you later, I guarantee you’ll give birth to a big, healthy boy! Your Majesty… The Empress Dowager is examining Consort Liu’s pelvis. I have eyes, thank you, Your Majesty ! Your Majesty, you’re in such a good mood! Your Majesty, you startled me! I’m giving Consort Liu prenatal care; her pelvic condition is exceptionally good. The Empress is so considerate; she seems to know everything about my beloved consort’s fertility. Your Majesty, please forgive me, it was I who begged Your Majesty to teach me! Oh, get up, get up! What’s there to forgive? It’s scientific fertility preparation, sister. Don’t worry, Your Majesty has been worried about you. Hehe. Empress, come with me! It’s alright, it’s alright , don’t worry, I’ll be right back! Oh, coming, coming! The Empress seems particularly concerned about the other consorts’ health lately. Yes, Consort An is about to give birth. Hmm, Consort Xian is preparing for pregnancy . Consort Liu is a potential star . Consort De’s health is almost fully recovered. I have to keep an eye on all of these . Your Majesty , you need to regulate your schedule lately… Click here, I see your dark circles are a bit heavy , it’s affecting the quality of my work. You want me to escape? Besides having children , is there anything else in your eyes ? Yes, I’ve been researching contraception lately. Hey, look at this! I ‘ve calculated the degradation time of this material. Hey, hey, hey, so you really don’t want to have children with me ? You’d rather be wrapped in all this mess than… Your Majesty, you ‘re acting a bit strange today. Did you get a bit too angry from reviewing memorials? Perhaps I should prescribe some cooling medicine for you? Hmph, the Empress started this fire, so the Empress will extinguish it! Your Majesty , urgent dispatch! The Tatars have breached three cities and slaughtered three thousand of my people. Who is willing to lead the army ? Uh, you go! I’ll go! I can’t! I’ve raised an army for a thousand days , yet not a single person dares to fight ! I’m willing to sacrifice my remaining body to protect the country, I only ask that Your Majesty forgive me! My sister is in the Jingxin Nunnery , copying scriptures in her blood every day, and is seriously ill and unable to rise. It’s truly a hardship… ” I fear I may never return from this journey . I only wish to see my brother and sister again. In three days, I will lead troops to the border. I hope Consort Xiao will enter the palace in her imperial carriage. I grant permission. Thank you, Your Majesty. Your Majesty , the Emperor is angry again because of that sheep intestine membrane . Ah, men’s hearts are unfathomable . But it’s alright. If the sheep intestine membrane doesn’t work , I’ll try a different approach. Hmm, there’s something delicious, safe, and without side effects. Pure natural herbs, a small amount of motherwort, saffron, and angelica and rehmannia to regulate qi and blood . Hmm, let’s call it Xiaoyao Wan. Your Majesty, isn’t saffron used for miscarriage? You’re going to give it to the concubines? Dosage, do you understand? A small amount of saffron can promote blood circulation and remove blood stasis. Combined with the neutralization of other herbs, it’s a gentle contraceptive and conditioning formula that can also beautify the skin. Come on, Cui Cui, try it. First guinea pig. No, no, no, this servant is still young. Hmm, the taste is okay . Hmm, it’s just a little bitter. As for the effect, we’ll have to wait until my period comes this month . Sisters, internal welfare upgraded version of Xiaoyao Wan.” Beauty and skin care, nourishing blood and qi , and it can also relieve your worries about pregnancy for now. How about beauty and skin care? I want it ! Lately, I’ve always felt my complexion is poor. Your Majesty’s products are always top-notch. Thank you, Your Majesty! Oh dear, I’m pregnant and can’t use it. Please save some for me to take after I give birth. I heard that it’s easy to get spots after childbirth. Oh no, no no, no no, everyone, don’t worry, don’t worry. We have it all, we have it all. We’ll handle it internally, keep it low-key. Come on, come on, come on ! Today, Your Majesty and Your Majesty distributed pills called “Xiaoyao Wan” to many concubines in the Imperial Garden . It is said that its effects are beauty and skin care, and regulating blood and qi. Xiaoyao Wan, humph, they know how to name things . Have you checked the ingredients? Ban Wei managed to obtain one. According to the preliminary examination by the imperial physician, it contains trace amounts of saffron, motherwort, etc., and the rest are all health-preserving medicinal materials. The imperial physician said that this dosage seems to have a contraceptive effect , but it also has a regulating effect. Quite ingenious. He’s made up his mind. Keep watching. Yes, Your Majesty. I take my leave . The army will set off in three days. I, the general , used 150,000 iron cavalry to pave a way for you to return to the palace. Mu Xuanqing, that brat, will eventually have to bow down to my Xiao family. He’s been living here for almost two months. Hahaha, good! Good! Fate is in my Xiao family. If it is discovered that this is the true dragon bloodline , when I conquer the Tang Dynasty and return with military merit, I will make him call Mu Xuanqing “Father” and let him rule the world. The imperial physician said that the residual poison of the Falling Star Powder is not yet cleared. I’m afraid . Hmph, what are you afraid of? Just remember that the one sitting on the dragon throne from now on is of my Xiao family blood. You and I are the meritorious officials of the Xiao family , controlling the world . Your Majesty, I heard that Consort Xiao is seriously ill. General Xiao is using the excuse of going to war to request the emperor to allow him to return to the palace. He’s seriously ill. Good! Since he wants to come back, then we’ll close the door and beat the dog. But Your Majesty, if he comes back, he will definitely cause trouble. His belly , the one in his belly is the sin he created himself, and it is also his greatest death warrant. Is Bao’er afraid? Bao’er isn’t afraid. Bao’er isn’t afraid. Your Majesty’s carriage is ready. Everything in the palace is proceeding according to plan. I want to see who truly rules the harem these days. Back to the palace! Yes, Your Majesty is back! Yes, Your Majesty is back! Welcome back, Imperial Noble Consort! Your Majesty, I, Xiao Qingyi, have returned to the palace by imperial decree to pay my respects to the Emperor and Empress. Hmm, my beloved consort, rise . You have worked hard in your quiet meditation and prayers at the Jingxin Nunnery. Praying for the Emperor and the nation is my duty; how can I say it is hard? It’s just that these days and nights of chanting scriptures… perhaps it’s because my heart is sincere , but I feel that my body and mind have been blessed by Buddha . I feel my health has improved somewhat. Oh, my beloved consort, your good health is naturally a blessing for me and the Great Yong Dynasty. This time, you have rendered meritorious service in praying for the border war. You shall be promoted to Imperial Noble Consort and granted residence in Chengqian Palace . The rank of Imperial Noble Consort is equal to that of the Empress Dowager , only one step away from the Empress’s position. Mu Xuanqing, this is flattery to kill! Your Majesty , I thank you for your grace. Long live the Emperor! Rise! Imperial Physician Wang , you are here too? I was at Jingxin Nunnery . Thanks to Imperial Physician Wang for bringing me medicine to prevent miscarriage every few days, which kept my health safe and sound. Imperial Physician Wang, is that not true? Your Majesty, I am trembling with fear. Before Your Majesty left the palace, the Fourth Prince was already welcomed. However, at that time, the situation seemed too dangerous, and Your Majesty was focused on praying for blessings, so she kept it a secret. Now, it seems like a revelation. Three months is the Emperor’s great blessing and the Empress’s prayers. Consort Xiao is quite bold to release such a shocking piece of good news at this time , which is simply rubbing Mu Xuanqing’s face into the ground! Your Majesty , as the head of the six palaces , you care about your sisters’ health. You really have been protected by Buddha. In fact, I had already received this blessing before leaving the palace , but I was too cautious and worried that this blessing was too thin. Now, thanks to the Emperor’s grace and promotion, I feel more at ease. Your Majesty , please take good care of me. I also have this imperial heir. Imperial Noble Consort, don’t worry, this child came at the right time. I will definitely take good care of him for you. I respectfully invite Imperial Noble Consort to move to Chengqian Palace. Hmm, Imperial Physician Wang is working hard in the deep night and heavy dew . Hahaha. Your Majesty, Empress Chen, I don’t know that Your Majesty is here. Imperial Physician Wang, your father’s huge gambling debt was set up by Xiao Yuanshan, right? And your mother and your… The youngest son has been staying at the other residence for some time now, hasn’t he? Consort Xiao used their lives to have you prepare medicine for her and, incidentally , monitor me . Since I can find out, I can save him. As long as you do as I say, I can guarantee your family’s safety; otherwise… Hmph! I’ve come this time to tell you that your family has been properly settled . Your Majesty’s kindness is immeasurable; I am guilty! My father is here! Your Majesty , what do you want to know? I will tell you everything. So please speak freely. Consort Xiao… Consort Xiao isn’t truly practicing asceticism at the Jingxin Nunnery … Hmm… Once, when I was delivering medicine, I personally witnessed General Xiao Yuanshuai breaking into the nunnery at night. He and Consort Xiao were in the back side room of the Guanyin Hall, and he was having an affair with Consort Xiao. And it wasn’t just once! I was so frightened that I could only pretend not to know . That child’s world doesn’t make sense at all! Oh my god, Mu Xuanqing , you’re wearing a huge green hat! Get up and speak first. It’s Imperial Physician Wang. When you were examining her just now, did you detect the fetal heartbeat of the imperial heir? Your Majesty’s pulse is quite strong, suggesting pregnancy , but after repeated examination , I haven’t found a strong fetal heartbeat. My heart is pounding , and the pulse that Your Majesty previously asked me to watch for is hollow, which is especially noticeable today. Of course you can’t detect it, because what Consort Xiao is carrying isn’t a child at all, but a “superior” one that I’ve modified. It’s like a combination of “Falling Star Powder” and “Falling Star Powder” plus the traditional “Falling Star Powder”—it’s deadly and environmentally unfriendly. My modified version halves the dosage , adds an expansion agent and a sterilization herb, and the user will have a bloated abdomen like a ball, a pulse that resembles pregnancy but doesn’t actually contain a fetus , and will be infertile for three years . Consort Xiao is now a walking, discarded fish. You must keep an eye on her and ensure her fetus grows large and stable. Report any abnormalities to me immediately. I will certainly not fail Your Majesty’s trust . Your Majesty, what a refined taste! Drinking alone under the moon, aren’t you afraid of catching a cold ? Get out! I don’t want to see anyone right now, especially women who are thinking about how to make me a stud and researching how to prevent me from having children. Fine, fine, then I’ll be the stud manager. You’re the noble stud yourself. Alright, then, noble horse, are you worried about General Xiao ‘s excessive military power , or are you worried about the child in Consort Xiao’s belly being of unknown origin? You know everything. What do you know? I know you’re being cuckolded. Heh heh, killing me won’t do you any good, killing those two would be the only way to vent your anger. But you ‘re wary of Xiao Yuanshan’s military power . I ‘m the emperor, yet I can’t even control the women in my harem , I don’t even know whose child one of my own women is carrying, and I’m being forced by a powerful minister to bestow the title of Imperial Noble Consort upon a harlot . I’m a joke as emperor. Fine, drinking alone won’t solve anything. It’s just a spring, isn’t it? It’s just Xiao Yuanshan’s son, isn’t it? I have a way to make him stick his neck out under our blades. Hmm , let’s put on a grand show. Jiang Wantang , you’re incredibly audacious, incredibly audacious! This plan is extremely vicious, yet also… “How wonderful ! Are you doing this to bring down Consort Xiao or for me, Your Majesty? That’s too formal. We’re strategic partners now, high-level players. My taking down the Xiao siblings is eliminating a scourge for the country, cleaning the harem, and consolidating the empire —a win-win situation! Oh, such noble character ! I never knew the Empress had become a living bodhisattva. Let’s get down to business. What do you want? Gold, silver, power , or a promise of eternal empressship ? Or perhaps… I’m too vulgar, Your Majesty. What I want is very simple: a wish, a promise made by Your Majesty yourself, a golden word that Your Majesty must fulfill no matter when, where, or what I ask for. Like…” “The Imperial Seal was stamped on a blank sheet of holy paper. How about that ? A good deal, right? Jiang Wantang, you’re quite the schemer! A scheme that hasn’t even been realized, in exchange for my unconditional promise ! Ah, high risk, high reward, right? Alliance benefits aren’t unreasonable, are they? Anyone else would have died countless times over if they said that , but why do I feel strangely at ease , even pleased, when Jiang Wantang says it ? Alright, I agree. I ‘ll give you an unconditional promise. A ruler’s word is law. Let this be proof . Once the dust settles , whatever you want , as long as I can do it, I will not hesitate. Your Majesty is magnanimous. So, it’s settled. For my wish, the voucher …” Our plan was a success! Cheers! Thank you, Your Majesty! But this wine is really strong! This is definitely a work-related injury! It seems we need to add a supplementary clause to the wish coupon: if we encounter this kind of overtime work again , meals and wine must be provided , and they must be good wine! Hmm , Imperial Edict! Your Majesty, receive this decree! By the grace of Heaven , the Emperor decrees: Empress Jiang has recently neglected her duties, been negligent and unbecoming, and is unworthy of the responsibilities of the Empress. Considering her past merits, she will be temporarily retained as Empress . However, the affairs of the six palaces are heavy, so the Imperial Noble Consort Xiao is hereby appointed to temporarily assume the Phoenix Seal and assist in managing the six palaces. This is the imperial decree. Thank you, Your Majesty! Your Majesty, how can the Empress not have a seal? Cui’er , look at my newly made pelvic model! Isn’t it handsome ? Your Majesty, why aren’t you in a hurry at all ? Oh, it’s nothing , it’s just a seal. She can give it to her if she wants. Come on, sisters, look closely! This is the legendary queen of natural childbirth! Rounded pelvic opening, perfect pubic arch angle. Having a pelvis like this makes childbirth feel like… I know , I know… It’s like… Consort De eating crystal shrimp dumplings one after another . But Your Majesty, look at mine, isn’t it good? Let me check for you. Definitely a queen! I’ll arrange it for you later. Thank you, Your Majesty, please sit down. Oh, Your Majesty, this is quite lively ! Is this just playing house? I am here by imperial decree to manage the six palaces. I need to go to the Imperial Household Department to handle some affairs. Sister, if you have some free time , why don’t you come with me to learn how to manage this palace? It’s better to do things that aren’t yours than to fiddle with these shady items. Your Majesty has been cultivating your health lately, cutting back on all your food and clothing by half. This snow swallow’s nest, golden charcoal , and sandalwood incense— I’m pregnant with your child, what use is sandalwood incense? Send them all to Chengqian Palace. Oh, and that warm jade pillow from the Western Regions— I think it’s very good for the fetus, send it along too. I’m in charge of the six palaces by imperial decree, Your Majesty won’t mind, will you? Haha , if the Imperial Noble Consort likes it , take it. But this warm jade pillow is cooling; with the Imperial Noble Consort’s constitution being so fiery, using it might worsen her bloating. Jiang Wantang, how dare you! My constitution is well-managed by the imperial physicians. Stop spouting nonsense! You’re cursing the dragon! Imperial Noble Consort, you’ve misunderstood. I was just worried and confused. After all, the peculiar scent of your perfume seems unable to mask certain natural aromas. It seems the Imperial Physician’s medicine for preventing miscarriage is quite potent. Hahaha, I love seeing Your Majesty scolding those vile people. Has Consort Xiao not showered since she went out? She smells terrible ! Consort Xiao, you’re getting old, I’m afraid she’s had something in her pants. Hahaha, how dare Xiang Wantang! How did he know my body odor has worsened recently? No matter how much perfume I use, it’s hard to cover it up. How dare you, Eunuch Hai! Jiang Wantang, you’re disrespectful to me! You’re disrespectful to Rong Yi! Slap him ! Never mind him, let’s continue . Where were we? Oh right, for those who want a natural birth , besides the pelvis, mindset is also very important. You need to be single-minded and focused on yourself, automatically blocking out any odors or noises. Your Majesty is right. Block out odors , block out noise, and just focus on giving birth to a healthy, big, fat boy. Block out noise , block out odors, and just focus on giving birth. Your Imperial Concubine and Shangguan Jun are still waiting. A bunch of ungrateful bastards, come on over! Goodbye , sisters, goodbye , goodbye, goodbye , goodbye forever! Your Majesty , he just looked like a bristling, fragrant pufferfish. Insightful ! Alright , the pufferfish is gone, let’s continue. Next section: Preparatory posture for strengthening the body and mind – the “Pufferfish-killing-it-is-dead” posture. Come, follow me and inhale, imagine breathing in sunshine and good mood , exhale and exhale bad luck and odors. Your Majesty, please try this venison! It’s so nourishing! My dear consort, please have some more. You’re pregnant and it’s been hard. Bring that bowl of chilled snow fungus to the Imperial Noble Consort. This taste is more complicated than the stench of corpses on the battlefield. Jiang Wantang’s puffed-up description is so apt. My dear consort, please enjoy. I just remembered I have a few urgent official duties to attend to. You should rest first. Your Majesty, it’s late and state affairs are important. My dear consort, please rest assured and take care of your pregnancy. Hmph. Hmph. Hmph. Hmm . Your Majesty , how did you know Your Majesty would be hungry tonight? The fragrance of Chengqian Palace is so strong it could kill mosquitoes. How good could the food be? Besides, eating with braised fish like that, how could you possibly get full? Hey, let me tell you, Your Majesty must be starving right now . Hehehe. Your Majesty said the food at Chengqian Palace is too dry . The food here at Your Majesty’s is much more comforting. Here’s a rice dumpling for Your Majesty to satisfy your craving. Hmm . Hmph. Slap me and then give me a sweet treat. Zao, tell him to go and coax his puffed fish. Hmm, the taste is not bad. Next time, tell him to send two portions if he wants to send one. One portion is not enough for him to apologize. The subordinate understands. The Emperor said things are going smoothly, the fish is in the trap, and the net will be closed soon. Please take care, Your Majesty. The errand fee… Hmph, being favored alone is not as good as my midnight snack . Your Majesty, why aren’t you worried at all? What if… what if the Emperor completely forgets you ? Have you forgotten how you were stripped of your power? Oh, what’s the rush? Food is the most important thing . Here, have some. Tomorrow I have to do exercises with the sisters in the harem. Oh , sisters, a new day to strengthen your body and mind. I’m so angry ! I’m so happy! Let’s begin. First stretching exercise. Ready, get ready! One, two, three , four . Inhale, expand your chest. Two, two, three, four. Exhale , detoxify. Inhale, expand your chest . Exhale, detoxify. Three circles to the left, three circles to the right. Twist your neck and wiggle your butt. Go to bed early and get up early, let’s do some exercise. What’s all the noise about? Can’t a person sleep? Inhale , expand your chest . Exhale, detoxify. What are they doing? What kind of behavior is this? A bunch of worthless bastards! Jiang Wantang humphed. He only knows how to use such methods to get the Emperor’s attention. Your Majesty , please calm down! The Empress said this is for physical fitness and to ensure a healthy pregnancy. Humph, a healthy pregnancy is what makes my child the imperial heir! What use is their training if they can’t even lay eggs?! A bunch of infertile bastards ! Ahhhhhh! Jiang Wantao, I will never forgive you ! Look, look over there! I see it ! Sisters, do you see this? This is the consequence of not exercising! It’s easy to get bloated, burp , and waste money! So we must persist in exercising to keep our minds and bodies comfortable, avoid holding grudges, and be thrifty! Yeah, keep going! 1234 Inhale to detox, exhale to expand chest, inhale to detox, three circles to the left, three circles to the right, twist your neck , wiggle your hips! Go to bed early and get up early, let ‘s do some exercise! Humph ! Ahhhhhh! Your Majesty, Your Majesty, Your Majesty, please take care of your health! General Xiao, with your strategic brilliance and decisive victories , is truly a pillar of our dynasty. This time, I have witnessed your awe-inspiring power on the border. Your ministers propose a substantial reward for General Xiao, increasing his military power to secure the realm. I agree. General Xiao’s merits are outstanding; he should be awarded a first- class merit as a sign of imperial favor. With General Xiao in the north, we can be assured of peace for a hundred years! Indeed, General Xiao is the pillar of the nation ; with him here, Your Majesty has no worries. I have noted your words, General Xiao. Your merits are indeed great and you deserve a generous reward. Guards , bestow upon General Xiao one hundred taels of gold, thousands of taels of fertile land and mansions , and confer upon him a first-class merit. Thank you, Your Majesty. General, today in the court, the Emperor has placed great trust in you; a first-class merit is imminent. Moreover, in my opinion , even the position of Minister of War should be held by you. Without you, how can the Emperor govern this vast land? You are all too kind. “His Majesty is young and the court is complicated. As a trusted minister entrusted with the care of the young emperor, I naturally have to take on more responsibility. The weapons from the north have all been dealt with, and the accounts have all been settled. Come on, everyone, let’s drink until we drop today ! Hey, did you hear that? The nation’s general can rest easy now! Xiao Yuanshan is practically floating to the moon. How are things on your end? Is Consort Xiao’s pregnancy going well? Your Majesty’s pulse is extremely stable. Of course, Consort Xiao herself is convinced of this. Recently, her arrogance has grown even stronger. Hmm, yesterday, she even used the excuse of pregnancy to withhold some of the blood swallows that were supposed to be Consort Shang’er’s share. Hmph, taking a chicken feather as an imperial edict , let her float away. The higher she floats, the harder she falls. Good. The upgraded version of the universal poison is complete. Cui Cui, start preparing the materials. In three days, we will begin researching spring.” “The beauty drink … Hmm , Your Majesty, the Emperor heard you couldn’t sleep because of the Empress’s disturbances , so he sent over Hainan pearls. It’s clear the Emperor cherishes you the most. Of course , unlike some who hold positions but are merely tools for the Emperor to maintain balance in the court , I have double protection. However, that vile Jiang Wantang is ultimately a menace. Qiuyue, this servant will go and fetch Imperial Physician Wang. He ‘ll say my pregnancy is unstable. Your Majesty , judging from your pulse, the pregnancy is stable and there’s no need for strong medicine. However, the medicine used before, though it created a ‘fragrant’ pulse , ultimately harmed my body. Shut up! Give me what I want! I want medicine that can protect my fetus and also make me bleed ! Hmm, it has to be fast-acting, preferably so it looks like I was harmed by someone else.” I remember there’s a poisonous drug from the Western Regions called “Duan Hong San” (断红散). Absolutely not! This drug is incredibly potent; if ingested, the mother’s blood will become highly poisonous. A slight mishap could turn her into a poisonous body. At that point, not only the fetus , but even Your Majesty’s own health would be in danger! I want it, so give it to me! Hmph , Your Majesty , today Consort Xiao asked me for Duan Hong San. This drug can make one’s blood highly poisonous. Hmph, I finally couldn’t hold back anymore. Playing this big is just right; let’s try my upgraded universal antidote! Your Majesty, this poison is dangerous; are you sure you can handle it ? Don’t worry, the power of science is boundless. However, tomorrow I need to add fuel to the fire and make this fire burn even brighter. Oh, by the way, Imperial Physician Wang, do you know about the Orphanage? The Orphanage isn’t a place for raising orphans in the palace, is it? Your Majesty, are you going to … well, go see Shang Pingxiang… Baby , sweetie, Mommy’s going to make you rice cereal. Baby, dolls don’t need to eat. You want to raise a child? Okay, let’s go, I’ll take you to raise one. What do you like? You like effeminate men ? But the nanny says he’s congenitally weak . It’s okay , I’ll come and check him out. It’s a small case, just malnutrition and mild asthma. Dietary therapy plus respiratory therapy will make him a strong little calf. Baby, are you really sure you want to raise him? Mommy, I’ve thought it through. I just lost my child, and he lost his mother. Perhaps this is God’s arrangement. Didn’t you say that women can do many things besides being mothers? I want to learn to be a good mother. I also want to learn to let go of hatred . Okay, I’ll help you ask the Emperor for a favor so you can officially adopt him. From now on, he’ll be your son. From now on, we’ll live together as mother and son . We won’t fight in the palace, we’ll just eat, okay? Oh dear, the first adoption KPI achieved in the imperial harem! Hmph, extra chicken leg tonight! Hehe, big brother’s over there, so many flowers! Oh dear, the spring breeze is still a bit chilly. Go get the peacock gold ball the Emperor bestowed upon me yesterday. Oh, Sister Shang is here too! Hmph, what’s wrong? Taking your bastard child from who-knows-where to sunbathe? Haha, Consort Shu, please be careful what you say . Huai’an is my child, he’s even listed in the Imperial Genealogy! Isn’t he the Empress? Pity you, a woman who can’t bear children ! Hmph, you picked up some bastard child from somewhere and treat him like a treasure! Haha, this one I’m carrying is the true imperial offspring ! The Emperor cherishes him, keeping him at the imperial palace every night! You all, stay away from me , lest you harm my imperial heir! Consort Shu, what a grand display of power! “Sister Shang is at least a princess, why must you speak so harshly, elder sister ? Her Majesty the Empress often says that sisters in the harem should live in harmony. Consort Xian, who gave you the audacity to disrespect me? Hmph, Your Majesty, you’re just a figurehead who doesn’t even know which way the Emperor’s bedchamber door faces ! Haha, let him secure his own position first!” Consort Xiao, what a big mouth you have! Hmph , whether I can keep my position as Empress is not up to you. It is you who, relying on your birth, mistreats the concubines and speaks arrogantly , showing contempt for me. According to the palace rules, what should your punishment be? Your Majesty the Empress, what a big ego you have! You’ve frightened me! Oh, my stomach hurts so much!” If anything happens to the imperial heir, can Your Majesty bear the responsibility? Hurry and help me back! This place is infertile, and unruly. Your Majesty’s prolonged stay is bad for my son. Look at his arrogant manner! Let him bully us sisters like this! Let him be arrogant! The more smug he is now, the harder he’ll fall. Go, try some of my newly made pastries to calm your nerves! Hmph , Jiang Wantang, let’s see how long you can be so smug! The day my brother succeeds will be your death day! Oh, Your Majesty, your general Xiao, a pillar of the state, has truly done a thorough job! This sand is more than the eggs in my cafeteria! The free egg drop soup is so generous! If these soldiers eat this coarse grain, their BMI will drop to negative numbers. How can they fight? They’ll just lie down and cosplay as terracotta warriors! Embezzling military pay, privately distributing weapons, and seizing farmland—each and every one of these cases is shocking. Zheng Jilie wants the ironclad evidence that nailed him to the Emperor. The ironclad evidence has been presented. Xiao Yuanshan’s trusted accountant, Wang Er, has already revealed some of the incriminating evidence through friendly exchanges . The remaining Dada Left Wise King’s secret communication channels have been locked. The carrier pigeons have praised the thorny guards. Xiao’s henchmen have been marked. Oh, this Shadow Brother is incredibly efficient! Now, let’s start cooking, frying fish, and catching turtles in the net. By the way, clear out… Xiao Yuanshan, holding considerable military power, is pushing the Qi Bone Fish in the palace. He’s cornered and might just do something rash. Hmph, Shadow, remember to simmer it slowly . Yes, sir! Oh, I see you have more stuff than me. Hmph, then let’s go heat up the Qi Bone Fish now. Its belly is as hard as a rock; even Physician Wang can barely hold it up. I’ll add some fuel to the fire, ensuring its heart fire is strong enough to burn naturally. You , you should just honestly brew your Spring Nourishing Drink. Everyone in the harem , especially in Chengqian Palace , must drink three large bowls every day until they’re immune to all poisons and have rosy complexions. Especially Consort Xiao, make her deeply grateful for the Emperor’s grace, not a drop left ! Hmph, yes! Sir , hahaha, I guarantee they’ll be so drunk they’ll be beaming and walking on air, even poison will avoid them! Haha, General, things are bad. Deputy General Zhao and Captain Qian have both run into trouble, the reason being embezzlement of rations. This is clearly aimed at us. Several of our men over there have also been demoted, and the soldiers under their command are sluggish with their rations, full of complaints. Mu Xuanqing actually dared to scheme against me! I don’t dare to confront him directly, only daring to make small moves behind his back. He wants to cut me with a dull knife, but I won’t let him have his way. Order the trusted confidants of the Northern Frontier Camp to secretly assemble and be ready at any time. Jingzhou, keep a close eye on the palace gates and that wicked queen. Report immediately if there’s any unusual movement ! Why is my belly getting bigger and bigger, but there’s no fetal movement ? This rock-hard thing is going on! Have you been bribed by Jiang Wantang ? Your Majesty, please calm down! Long Ying, Long Ying must be exceptionally gifted, calm and composed, unlike ordinary people . Even the slightest movement is abnormal . I want to see my brother, why can’t I send a message? Your Majesty, why do you always say you’re too busy with state affairs? This soup must be the medicine he gave me. The medicine he gave me… Your Majesty, Your Majesty, the Empress, had someone send over this spring beauty drink, saying it’s a special supply. I won’t drink that shameful stuff. Go get me the strongest medicine, the most effective one. I want everyone to know that I’m carrying the true dragon seed ! Your Majesty, Commander Li, you’re familializing people and suppressing meritorious soldiers , causing morale to plummet. If this continues, it may harm the nation. I humbly request a thorough investigation. Your Majesty , Imperial Censor Liu, these words… Wrong! Commander Li’s economic rectification is aimed at cracking down on those who embezzle rations and soldiers’ wages. This is a fundamental measure to rectify the situation. How can it be considered suppressing loyal officials ? You’re talking nonsense! You’re the one who’s talking nonsense ! It’s because you’re corrupt that you’re corrupt that you’re talking nonsense! Oh dear, what kind of behavior is this? I will make my own judgment on matters of military discipline. Commander Li’s actions are all just . Anyone who dares to make irresponsible remarks about military affairs or disrupt the court will be severely punished. Court adjourned ! Sisters, spring is dry and easily causes internal heat. I have specially upgraded my beauty and health drink to clear heat, detoxify , and beautify the skin. Imperial Concubine is carrying the imperial heir and is working very hard. Cui’er , quickly fill Imperial Concubine’s cup with double the care. I cannot accept the Empress’s kindness. Consort Xiao, do not disappoint me. Looking at the color of this soup, it ‘s so good. It tastes really good. Thank you, Your Majesty. Hmm, I feel that the taste is a little strange , but
Your Majesty said it’s for detoxification. Hahahaha, okay, I’ll drink it all. Hahaha, I’ll take it . It is indeed the Western Regions’ rare poison, the Blood-Severing Powder. At this moment, the blood and breath are poisonous; anyone who smells it will die. I will make you all pay for my and my son’s deaths ! The name “Western Regions Blood-Severing Powder” sounds intimidating, but Imperial Concubine, have you forgotten the Double Care Spring Nourishing Drink I just gave you ? It’s specially formulated to counteract the Blood-Severing Powder— buy one get one free, no deception! Oh , Your Majesty , wasn’t the drink you just had a bit salty, bitter, and sweet aftertaste? This servant seems to have confused your Supreme Sea Salt Supreme Edition with the regular version. Oh , but it doesn’t matter; their effects are the same —a detoxifying, beautifying, and antidote miracle ! I was wondering why it tasted so cloying ; it was deep-sea essence! Haha! Jiang Wantao, it was all your doing ! So what? You two conspired together! Lu Xuanqing, I, Xiaoqing, entered the palace at the age of 5… You diligently practiced music, chess, calligraphy, and painting , learning virtue and gentleness, yet you ‘ve mingled with those vile women, how much blood have you spilled on your hands ? First, let’s talk about the Empress and her relatives interfering in politics . How do you think the late Empress died ? I conspired with the imperial physician to put a slow-acting poison in her pregnancy-preserving medicine, watching her slowly die, coughing up blood . Hahaha! I cleared all obstacles for you, just so you could smoothly sit on the dragon throne . Hahaha! You poisonous woman, it was you ! Shut up, you old hag! I’ve done so much for the royal family, and you and Mu Xuanqing have made someone else Empress. Mu Xuanqing, how could you do this to me? Look at his eyes, full of indulgent love! This is love! Why should I abandon my reputation and innocence for you? Why should I even personally kill my inferior brother, Xiao Yuanshan, just to borrow his troops and wish you peace and prosperity? How could you do this? Why do you like him, this… You monster Xiao Shuyi, all you know is getting pregnant and doing those vile and filthy things, you’re so wrong! First , I knew about the late Empress’s death from the very beginning. My reason for sparing your life was twofold: first, to keep that jackal Xiao Yanshan in check; second, because your elaborate scheming was truly brilliant. Second, I made Jiang Wantang Empress not to use him to balance anything. At first, I thought he was stupid and arrogant, but later I saw his stupidity in a unique way , greatly benefiting the country and the people. Hmm, your manners… Third, I used to think your Xiao family was powerful and hypocritical , but I never loved you. What you gave was endless ambition, ruthless scheming, and countless bones. You, Xiao Yuanshan, will disrupt the palace, confuse the royal bloodline , and attempt to steal the throne with your bastard child. You are the one who deserves to die ! Hahaha, from beginning to end, I’ve been a joke! Kill! Kill! I hear the sounds of battle! My brother is here ! Hahaha, this world will ultimately belong to my Xiao family ! Ah! What’s that sound ? Is Xiao Yuanshan arriving so just in time? Ahhh, escorting the Empress Dowager back to the palace is Mu Xuanqing and Jiang Wantang in green robes! I want you to pay for your blood debt! Guards, I was prepared! Ahhh , Your Majesty, shut up! If you move again, let the Empress’s head roll! Let her go! I didn’t expect you could be so heartless ! You can feel sorry for her too! You want this vixen to live ? Fine! Get over here right now! Kneel before my sister’s spirit and exchange your dog’s life for hers! One life for one life, that’s fair! Hey, can’t you have some martial ethics? What if he slits his throat and you go back on your word? Your reputation score has dropped a lot already! Last time you even dared to smuggle poison into the military rations! Uh … fine , I agree! Hahahaha! Mu Xuanqing, I didn’t expect you to be troubled by a woman ! Ahhh! Cui’er, I’m counting on you! Your Majesty has an upgraded version of the universal antidote in your purse! It can cure all poisons, even beheadings! Everyone, come and grab it! Grab it now! Grab it and you’ll make a profit ! Cui’er, this advertising slogan is amazing! My goodness! My goodness ! My goodness! My goodness! The demoness is stunned! Inside are cooked black beans and croton powder, a cure for your kidney deficiency and greed! Am I amazing ? Watch out ! Are you alright ? Mu Xuanqing, you idiot, you madman! Who told you to block the sword for me ? Who told you to block the shadow for me? Shadow, shadow, come and dance with your sword! Mu Xuanqing, I’m going to take your dog’s life today ! Give it back to me ! My subordinate saved you! Quickly, find the imperial physician ! Go find the imperial physician! Go get me some ethanol, a syringe, hot water, gauze , and… and my all-purpose wound-cleaning ointment! And … and… the wishing circle! Mu Xuanqing , I want to use the injustice circle! I want to use the injustice circle! My wish is for you to wake up! Wake up , Mu Xuanqing! You’re so noisy! Even when I’m staring at you, it’s like a dream. Mu Xuanqing, Mu Xuanqing, if it hurts, just say so! Don’t pretend! It doesn’t hurt at all! Don’t move! My beloved concubine’s technique is quite skillful. My body is almost becoming your canvas! Hmph, you deserve to die of pain! Who told you to try to be strong like others and use your body to block swords ? Do you think you’re Iron Man? If you dare to do that again, I’ll break off your other arm and use it as a teaching model. There won’t be a next time! Jiang Wentao, I can’t lose you ! Stop being so mushy! Are you afraid that no one will help you manage those concubines in the harem, or are you afraid that no one will help you? The poison test wasn’t because I feared I’d never see you again, carving ovulation dates on the golden nanmu wood with your silk bag , never hear you again, hands on hips, cursing me, the dog emperor, and no one else to brew that bitter, awful , and salty beauty drink for me. Heh, our mutual love… Jiang Wantang, I love you. It’s not the emperor for the empress , it’s Mu Xuanqing for Jiang Wantang. You just finished being detoxified, are you still brainwashed? Hmph, you have three thousand beauties in your harem , I only want you. I’ll take good care of the others and let them have their way. Hmph, my beloved consort, I’m exhausted, both physically and mentally . Shouldn’t you fulfill your duties as empress and comfort me? Ah, Mu Xuanqing… Qing, you, you , you still want to consummate the marriage at this point ? Aren’t you afraid your wound will reopen and bleed profusely? I just wanted to kiss you, my beloved concubine. What have you been thinking ? Are you more impatient than me ? I , Mu Xuanqing, will fight you ! Imperial Physician, shall we still serve this Ten-Ingredient Tonic Soup ? Please feed her some more. Your Majesty may need to replenish her strength. It’s late, Your Majesty. You’ve just recovered from a serious illness and should rest. Hey , what does this cervical dilation index finger have to do with the index finger used for drawing a bow and arrow ? Ah, this old servant really doesn’t know. This is probably Your Majesty’s professional terminology. Hmm, the incision location is indeed related to… The strategy of surprise attack in military tactics has a similar effect. Hmm, Zhang Yanpan, these Hegu and Sanyinjiao acupoints really help relieve labor pain. Yes, young master, that’s true. But alas, the massage technique, frequency, and pressure are all important. If a woman is experiencing prolonged labor , which acupoints should be massaged to aid delivery ? Young master, you ask such detailed questions . Is it possible that you have a wife about to give birth? I’ll learn this in preparation. Please explain in detail. Leader, the Emperor has summoned Zhuang Yan for consultations for three consecutive days, all concerning obstetrics and gynecology. Should we report this to the Empress? The Emperor has ordered that this matter must not be known to the Empress . We only need to ensure the Emperor’s safety. All other things should not be seen or heard , but I see the Emperor’s notes are taken more seriously than those of a top scholar taking the imperial examination. Ugh ! Your Majesty, push harder! I can see the head! Push harder ! No, I’m out of strength! Your Majesty, the Empress , is coming! Obstetrics expert Jiang Wantang is online and taking orders. Granny, step back! Hey, let me see, the baby’s position is right, but the head is a bit big. It’s just like the Emperor’s thought process when he’s reviewing memorials. Anping , listen to me now, inhale and hold your breath, push! Yes, it’s like when you’re squatting on the toilet and can’t poop, that feeling! Pushing is good, I can see the hair! Keep going ! Oh no! Your Majesty has fainted ! Oh no ! This labor is terrible! It ‘s like running a marathon, you’re exhausted! Xiao Cui, quickly get some raw herbs to prolong your life, and then get hot water to scald the scissors and prepare for an episiotomy. Okay, stop shouting! An incision is better than the baby being suffocated. Your Majesty, you mustn’t do this! It will damage your vital energy. Saving your life is the priority now. Listen to me , step aside ! Your Majesty , what are you doing? Anping, listen to my command! Wake up immediately! Think about the baby in your belly! What are you standing there for ? Didn’t you want an episiotomy? Hurry up and do it! Ah! I’ll help you stabilize him! Okay! It’s born! It’s born ! Oh dear, Anping, look ! Look! Oh dear, my dear grandson! Look at his little face , he looks just like the Emperor when he was a child! Consort An, you have done a good job and should be rewarded! However, what I long for most is to hold my own grandson. The matter of an heir cannot be forced. I know the Empress has a peculiar temperament , but she is the Empress and the heir to the throne; she needs a legitimate son . The Emperor cannot always let her be willful. I’ve heard of her so -called contraceptive methods—how can this be proper? The Empress’s words are indeed a means to save the world. As for a legitimate son, I know in my heart, Mother, there’s no need to worry. I think you’re bewitched by him. Look at him; all he does is deliver babies and help with contraception. He never puts his mind on you or on the right path. I will see a legitimate grandson this year, otherwise… By the decree of the Empress Dowager and the Empress Dowager, all other matters are to be suspended from this day forward, with the priority being to serve the Emperor and to nourish his health so as to ensure the continuation of the imperial line. The Empress Dowager said that all these bottles and jars should be taken away by this old servant . Oh no, this…this is the beauty version of Xiaoyao Pills, which has no contraceptive effect. Oh, this is Xiaoyao Pills Plus, which is for beauty and skin care and does not cause contraception. I’m not lying to you, I’m a dog. Alright, I understand the incense on the Phoenix Bed, but you can’t watch here. The Empress Dowager said that you are not allowed to touch any medicine . Your Majesty, please. The incense on the Phoenix Bed has been prepared for you. The Emperor will arrive after dinner. This old servant will serve Your Majesty here. What? You’re watching the whole thing ? Yes, I feel like a female panda in a zoo waiting for a blind date . Your Majesty, please be careful with your words. Your Majesty , may Your Majesty and the Empress rest in peace . Your Majesty, please think of a solution! This old nanny is standing here like a door god, is she trying to kill me? What can I do about the Empress Dowager’s decree ? Why don’t you try pretending to be sick? Look, I’ll just say you’re unwell, and then have those people from the Imperial Hospital surround me and find out I’m reading this? Your Majesty, what are you doing reading this book? Hmm, know yourself and your enemy, so you won’t complain about the quality next time. Hmm , that’s scientific advice, what do you know? Hey, Your Majesty, come here and cooperate with me! Ah, ah, Your Majesty, I ‘m not feeling well today . Granny, you…you…go and tell the Empress Dowager …uh… I …I have a nosebleed, and I also have periodic uterine bleeding. Your Majesty, please don’t come any closer! People say that intercourse during pregnancy is bad for the fetus. Anyway, I’m not feeling well. Since the Empress is not feeling well, I’ll come another day. Hmm , Granny, please take good care of the Empress. Since Her Majesty is feeling well… If you’re not comfortable with that, then the matter of serving the Emperor will be postponed. But I will report today’s events to the Empress Dowager in detail. Are you serious? Your Majesty, this dark-skinned woman can really drink! Hmm, Eunuch Zhang from the Imperial Kitchen said that the almond pastry you made last time caused Guard Li to lose half a tooth. Shut up! This soup is made according to a secret recipe from the Western Regions. It nourishes qi and blood and strengthens the body. At most, the taste is a little off. You also said last time that the osmanthus beauty cream tasted a little off, and as a result, Granny Wang had diarrhea for three days and three nights. Shut up! The Emperor’s birthday only comes once a year. I’ve expressed my feelings. Can he kill me? Happy Birthday, Your Majesty ! Try this bowl of the Dragon Health and Well-being Secret Soup, which contains cassia seeds, goji berries , and 3 catties of honey. After one sip, I guarantee your speed in reviewing memorials will surpass that of an octopus flipping through cards, and your stamina will rival that of a marathon. This is the Empress’s birth gift for me . Yes, it’s
made with tribute donkey-hide gelatin. It smells like the cockroach-repelling medicine from the Imperial Hospital. Hmm, good medicine tastes bitter. Your Majesty, after you finish this, I guarantee you’ll be in good health. You can review memorials until dawn without feeling sleepy. Jiao Wantang , are you coveting my throne? This must taste worse than the poison I gave to the traitors. Is it really that bad? I clearly put in three catties of candied fruit. It’s more than just bad; after drinking this, I feel like I’m on fire. How do you plan to compensate me ? Uh, Your Majesty, well, I’ll go get a basin of cold water to splash on you. No need. I’ll make you a cup of chrysanthemum tea to cool you down. No need. The Empress herself brewed the medicine, of course the Empress herself was responsible for brewing the medicine ahhhhhh vinegar water good umm umm umm umm Your Majesty, are you alright? Oh well my ass, my back is about to break! Mu Xuanqing, that beast , taking revenge on his own, how could he be like this? From last night until the third watch of the night , the third watch of the night , oh ha, my lifelong reputation… wait, this morning when the Emperor left, he seemed to be in a particularly good mood. He even said that the Empress was tired last night and ordered the Imperial Kitchen to stew top-quality bird’s nest and prepare some nourishing medicinal dishes. Moreover, she specifically said that today’s greetings were waived so that you could rest well. Pshaw, that’s because she felt guilty. Wait, Cui’er , hurry, you, you, you go and get my game stick, right now, immediately ! Your Majesty , hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry! Your Majesty, the blue is so deep! You…you’re pregnant! Haha, this is the greatest joy of all! I’ll go tell the Emperor right away ! Wait, Mu Xuanqing, you damned vixen! I knew there was something wrong with that soup! What birthday gift ? It’s clearly a concoction! Don’t tell anyone about this yet! Why? The Emperor will be so happy if he finds out! You’re stupid! If the Empress Dowager finds out I got pregnant because of that soup, where will I put my face? Besides, that bastard Mu Xuanqing, he’ll definitely get carried away and might make me drink that soup every day! No , no, absolutely not! Hahaha, what are you laughing at ? Hurry up and come here to massage my back ! Wait until this little brat is born, then I’ll see how I settle accounts with his father ! Ahhh, Your Majesty, push harder! Ahhh, Mu Xuanqing , you bastard! Your Majesty , is this iron egg made of steel? Why isn’t it coming out yet? It hurts so much! Your Majesty, push harder! Come on, come on! I can’t take it anymore! I need a C -section ! I need an epidural! Quickly, quickly, bring me my silver needle knife! Your Majesty, push! I want to use it myself! Your Majesty, it hurts! It hurts! It hurts! It hurts! It hurts! Hold on ! It hurts ! Push harder! Yes, yes, just like you taught me to deliver a sow’s baby! It hurts! It hurts! Your Majesty, exhale, inhale , hold your breath, push hard! Yes, push harder! Push harder! Push harder ! Push harder! No, no, let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a mountain, and on the mountain was a temple, and in the temple lived an old monk. Oh, this is awful! I don’t want to hear it at all! I want to push you off the mountain right now! Oh, oh, oh, I’m about to have hemorrhoids! Your Majesty , you mustn’t! Bloodshed, the dragon’s aura— this is ominous! Your Majesty, your precious body is at risk! Get out! The delivery room is a place of filth! What filth? This is clearly an auspicious sign! Your Majesty, the Empress giving birth to my child is the most sacred thing in the world! Tangtang, now you come with me… My rhythm! Inhale, exhale, hold your breath, one, two, three, push, push ! It’s born! It ‘s a healthy little prince! Sugar, you’ve worked so hard! Congratulations, Your Majesty! Congratulations, Your Majesty! Congratulations, Your Majesty! Congratulations, Your Majesty! Congratulations, Your Majesty! Congratulations, Your Majesty! Congratulations, Your Majesty! Why are you so ugly? You look like a hairless monkey , or maybe you ‘re burnt and look better. Hmph , take it away, take it away, it’s affecting my appetite ! Congratulations, Your Majesty! Congratulations, Your Majesty ! By the grace of Heaven , the Emperor decrees: To celebrate the full moon of my eldest son, Muchen, I hereby declare a general amnesty, except for those guilty of the ten most heinous crimes, all may enjoy this grace. Your Majesty, may Heaven bless you, my dear baby! I have a second decree. I deeply appreciate Heaven ‘s benevolence and the hardships faced by the women of the harem. From this day forward, all concubines who have not yet served the Emperor, and who wish to remain within the palace walls and yearn for the world beyond, may leave the palace at their own discretion. I will bestow upon them generous dowries and land, allowing them to return home or marry freely. The court will not obstruct them and guarantees their future well-being. Do you hear me? You can go home now. Goodbye, my 562 bricks! Your Majesty, I, Liu, have never served the Emperor since being favored. I yearn for freedom outside the palace and humbly request Your Majesty’s permission to leave. Your Majesty, I also desire freedom outside the palace . I also wish to leave the palace. I also wish to leave the palace ! I grant your permission! Rise , Your Majesty! Thank you, Your Majesty ! And to the sisters who remain, don’t be idle either! Today, my Royal Women’s Obstetrics and Gynecology Medical College officially opens for business! Ta-da! We guarantee you will learn, practice, and be assigned a job. Upon graduation, you will receive a deluxe set of midwifery tools, including catgut, scalpels, and plenty of disinfectant alcohol. Limited spots available , first come, first served! Once you’ve chosen, you can not only take good care of your own child but also gain profound knowledge and earn money through your own abilities . Women can hold up half the sky , and beauties are stronger than men. Who wants to sign up ? I’m willing! I ‘m signing up! I’m signing up! Good, good, good! Everyone, everyone , come here , come here , let me tell you a story . Back then, our Empress was a living bodhisattva who could snatch people from the clutches of the King of Hell. Yes , in the Golden Palace, in front of all the civil and military officials, she deftly removed the difficult-to-give-up sow —I mean, she demonstrated her divine skill by performing a cesarean section to deliver the baby. She outwitted the wicked concubine Xiao Shuyi and cleverly devised a plan to break the poison trap . Oh yes, and even in her own delivery room, she and our Prince Tiedan were born together . Oh, how amazing! Now, our Empress has established this Women’s Medical College, widely accepting female students to teach her life-saving obstetrics techniques, specializing in treating all kinds of difficult births, breech presentations , and postpartum hemorrhage. She has saved the lives of countless women and children and brought happiness to countless families. We common people all say, ” It’s better to offend the King of Hell than to offend Empress Jiang in the delivery room. ” Her hands are like those of Guanyin! Sana Yangzhi Ganlu Hand , his heart is like a Bodhisattva’s, a kind and compassionate soul! So good, so good! That’s right, last year my daughter-in-law had a difficult childbirth , and it was Zhang, a student from the medical school, who saved her. Mother and child are safe! Zhang said his master is the current Empress! Wow , I heard even tribes from the northern grasslands and chieftains from the southern islands travel thousands of miles to study here! The Empress is truly a divine being, a national treasure of Great Britain! Yes, that’s right! My daughter is studying midwifery at the medical school, and she’s doing so well! Last month she even received an award for outstanding midwife! The Empress is truly our great benefactor! Yes, well said, well said! The Empress is our living Bodhisattva! Oh, pay attention, pay attention, everyone! If you encounter breech presentation, don’t panic! Remember our first aid mantra: push the buttocks, turn the head, Mom, hold your breath, don’t worry, keep your balance, don’t panic! Even the King of Hell would be worried! Haha , alright, Cui Cui, you demonstrate the correct Qiankun Great Shift technique for turning the baby. Here comes the Dean. Yes, everyone, please watch… A skilled hand applies pressure like this: gently yet firmly, feeling the baby’s movements . That’s right, not bad. Hmph, everyone, did you learn it? Oh dear, Tie Dan, just like your mother, all you do is hide in the bushes and got caught, huh? Hey , go, go, go ! Oh, you can’t go there next time! Oh dear, Tie Dan is just like you, always wanting to hide in the flower bushes. Look how pricked he is! Oh, okay, okay, okay! Oh, that’s called the spirit of exploration, don’t you understand? You ‘re so clumsy, so clumsy with your child, even managing to hide in the bushes, not as worry-free as my students ! Yes, your academy is doing well, better than I imagined! Hey, hey, that’s right. Don’t you know who the dean is ? Now when we go out, everyone calls her “Ms. Female Teacher.” We earn money through our own abilities, we’re all standing tall ! You dog emperor, hey, can I discuss something with you ? Granted! Look, our Tie Dan has grown up, and my academy is finally on the right track! Haha, do you think we should consider having another daughter? I promise, this time I’ll definitely give birth to a beautiful little girl, just the right amount to give my students practice — no, I mean, to provide valuable clinical teaching experience. I think having one Tiedan is good enough. And then, my imperial body also needs some rest—rest, rest, Tiedan! Uh, let’s go, Tiedan’s mom will take you to see the pretty aunties doing evening exercises in the square. I’m not playing with your good-for-nothing dad anymore. Humph
, hey , wait , I want to see the pretty aunties too ! Haha!
📺 星ドラについて
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現代の産科医が、後宮で廃后となった皇后に転生！？皇帝は冷淡に嫌い、妃たちは陰謀を巡らせる危険な日々。だが、彼女は一筋の刺繍糸で龍胎を救い、ヨガボールで貴妃の胎位を調整！皇帝は涙を浮かべて復位を懇願！知恵と医術で後宮を変え、全ての人を驚かせる波乱万丈の物語！🔥
#転生 #後宮 #廃后逆襲 #産科医 #皇帝の愛 #宮廷陰謀 #龍胎救出 #ヨガボール #宮廷ドラマ #女強 #復讐と愛 #ド派手 #波乱万丈 #宮廷ラブ #物語反転
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