Bangkok Airport – Thailand is a place where holiday dreams and disasters meet…

Bangkok Airport – Thailand is a place where holiday dreams and disasters meet…

Bangkok Airport is like no other airport on Earth. Welcome to Thailand! This is my best smiley. It’s where East meets West. Ching, ching, ching, ching, ching, ching. Buddhist meets backpacker. That way to the beach. And traveller meets trouble. You ever see me in Thailand ever again? No, no. Yes. And if the culture seems strange… The language seems foreign… And you’re 6,000 miles from home… I’m stuck in Bangkok. Don’t panic. There’s an army of airport staff just waiting to help you out. One way. How may I help you? Or another. Get in the line. So whether it’s your gateway to a million once-in-a-lifetime experiences… It’s all about love, love, love and love. ..or just the ticket to a good old-fashioned holiday nightmare… Look at all the kinds of flights. ..this is your final call. Very happy, everyone. Welcome… Passport, please. ..to Bangkok Airport. Today we go behind the scenes of the world’s smiliest airport. We meet the Far East’s happiest immigration officer. I love my job. And the lapping doctor who has his patients in stitches. But not everyone’s smiling. They’re not really taking care of me in a nutshell. Melody’s lost her passport and Matt can’t get back to Rotherham. Well, I’m here forever, then, aren’t I? Jon’s round Asia trip hits the skids. I had to wrap that round my head because I didn’t know how bad the cut was. And will Paul make it to the gate after a big night out in departures? Yeah. It’s just another day at the airport of smiles, and no-one smiles more than Jack. My name is Captain Jack-o’-Pong. You can call me Jack. Yeah, Captain Jack. I love my job, you know. I love my job. I love to be immigration. Ching, ching, ching, ching, ching, ching. I issued a visa on arrival. One passenger, I have to… to stamp it three times then I have to count ching ching ching ching ching ching from this classic numbering machine I love this machine the sound so good see and then I issue the visa from stamping this is the visa done okay It makes my day. I don’t know, I just love it. Yes! After clearing immigration, the adventure begins. The airport handles 50 million passengers a year and Bangkok’s a top long-haul destination for young British travellers. Hi, we’re here at a Gap-in! Beach, pool chair and party, and we’re doing all three. For some, it’s a voyage of self-discovery. I’m soul-searching because I really want to find who I am. But for beauticians Alicia and Georgia, it isn’t. I came to Thailand because my dad was paying for it, so it’s a free holiday. But now they’re here, they’re going to make the most of it. Top five things I want to do is get a massage, get a tan… Erm… Wow. She wants to see a ladyboy. It’s really hot when you get outside, you can’t breathe. Yeah, we wore tights on the plane so that we could just take them off as soon as we got off. You lie, you said easy access. Oh, shit. That as well. Two birds, one stone. What’s that mean? You’re hitting two birds with one stone. Doing two things in one… Oh, okay. Sure. OK. Alicia and Georgia will spend the first half of their holes with Alicia’s dad, Andy, and his partner, Chan. The second half, they’re on their own, including a trip to the full moon party. I think they should go and experience, but I’ve told them to be very, very careful. You’re a bit worried about them? Yeah, I’m a bit worried about them. I’m quite worried when they have, like, drink and drunk and that. Should we just go and get a piss? Probably. We can’t get too drunk. We can. No, we’ve got to get up in the morning. We’ve got to get up in the morning. I’ll get off. We’ve got to go to the gym in the morning, haven’t we? Get a beach pod. We go to the gym every day. When we leave our old man, we’re going to be nicking lads, so we’ve got to get beach pods. Oh, don’t get… With Dad footing the bill, the first half of the trip should be a double. But will they still be smiling when they go it alone? If you’re ever in bother at Bangkok Airport, your best bet’s to head for Tourist Police HQ. This 90-strong squad of officers are dedicated to helping travellers in trouble and doing it with a smile. Sergeants Bhopit and Chiang patrol one of the biggest airport terminals in the world. At six million square feet it’s some beat, but they’ve got it covered on their brand new Segways. I am learning to make Segways. Everybody can do it. On their super segways, the tourist police are ready for any emergency, from taxi touts to threatening behaviour to lost property. Lots of lost property. Lot Camilla. Passport. Lot passport. Husband. Husband, friend. Friend. More, do you have more? Money. Money, oh, money is number one. Yes, and some kids, lot hotel. Yeah, lot of way, you know. Lot of way to the hotel. You cannot remember where. Forget the name of the hotel. Back at the office, the first loser of the day is Matt from Rotherham. I had to eat ticket just for… You had to eat ticket. I had to eat ticket. I had to eat ticket. I had to eat ticket. I had to eat ticket. I had to eat ticket. I had to eat ticket. I had to eat ticket. I had to eat ticket. I had to eat ticket. I had to eat ticket. had to eat to get just He’s desperate to get home after his wallet containing credit cards and cash was stolen. It’s a tough one, but Sergeant Jang’s on the case. Can you help him for sending back? But how? Try to thinking that. Don’t know. Don’t worry because police, police, we are Superman. My daughter’s in hospital. Well, it’s an accident. I need to get home. I don’t… My flight is in for two weeks, so I come to change today and there’s no ticket. I’ve lost my bank card. I just can’t get home. Matt’s return ticket is non-transferable, and with no money, he wants to buy a ticket online using his girlfriend’s card number back home. My girlfriend sent me a number on her card. If I can get a flight… I can just type in and go. Ah, yes. So I try on internet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now, are you hungry? I don’t know what I am. Oh, OK. No, I’ve got something. Some coffee? I need to drink water. Water? OK. What airport is this? Manchester. Tomorrow. OK. Matt checks his flight options, but just as he’s about to buy his ticket, Sergeant Chang spots a problem. You don’t have card, right? No, I have no card. This card is at home. What do I need to do now? Your girlfriend buy ticket for you and then send this ticket to your email. I will call him. Angela, you’re going to have to book me a ticket. Right? Angela, I’ve got one up here on the internet, but I can’t pay for it. You’ve got to buy it and then email… When it comes through the document, you’re going to have to email that document then to me. Departure tomorrow. Kuwait Airways. Yes, it’s from Bangkok. That’s right, Angela. Bucket me. Angela, I can’t because if I could book it, I need the card to show them. This is strange. She’s doing exactly the same what I can do here. But I can book this now. But they’re saying I can’t, have they? It’s just the same. She’s going to do exactly the same. Whatever they email me here, I’ve got it here. I do not understand. What’s the difference? I could buy that now and print it off a ticket. Matthew goes tomorrow. Three hours in, Matt’s no nearer to flying out. This could be a long haul. Two floors down from Police HQ is the airport’s state-of-the-art medical centre. Doctors here treat more than 30,000 patients a year, but they still find time for a laugh. And no one likes a laugh more than Dr Art. No, just kidding. Except his best pal, Dr Jack. Oh, Dr Jack. He’s the most funniest guy ever. And when he comes here, he always comes with a laugh. He laughs. Even when we’re in the toilet, from the outside, we can hear his laugh. Today, Jack’s put a smile on everyone’s face. He’s just back from London with presents for the team. Most of the Thai girls love shopping. So, four of the nurses making an order with me. The Toblerone from London. But Dr Jack wasn’t on holiday in London. He actually flew there at the controls of his jumbo. His other job’s a pilot. I dreamed to be a pilot since I was a young boy, but when I graduated as a physician, I tried to follow my dream to be a pilot. But multi-talented Dr Jack pops into the clinic when the staff are pushed. Today’s Helping John. who’s been in the wars. That’s my T-shirt after the crash. I had to wrap that round my head because I didn’t know how bad the cut was. And he was actually cut, he was passed out, so I thought he was dead. John and his mate Chris were on a round Asia trip until the wheels came off. Yesterday I was in Laos, we were trying to get to the airport, we were connecting flight here, and unfortunately we had a road crash, ended up in the ditch in the jungle. It was just a freak accident, basically, I don’t know if it was the car’s fault, the weather’s fault, or a little bit of our fault, but basically we tried to turn the corner. I can’t even respond quite as it should. It just so happened that I happened to turn the camera on at the time, you know, a second before it happened, so… It is pretty traumatic, just me screaming in my head most of the time. Busy, hard left, hard left. Oh, shit! Oh, shit! The last thing I remember is us going down the ditch. But I passed out. I passed out. I was out. Fizzy! Fizzy wake up, fuck off! Fizzy! Fizzy wake up, fuck off! Fizzy wake up, man! Fizzy wake up! I was just tired. I just wanted to get my act done. That was so hard, it was scary. I thought I’d lost my best mate and then there’s just blood everywhere with me. But luckily there was people all around that came and helped us straight away. As soon as he woke up I knew we’d be fine. Great holiday snaps. Really good for the album. Although I’m not Facebooking that one. John’s problems aren’t over. Dr Jack has to decide if he’s well enough to board his plane. Without a fit-to-fly certificate, his journey ends here. So you confirm that when you got the accident, you didn’t lose the conscious, right? No, definitely not. Definitely not. I saw the whole thing, unfortunately. Do you feel nausea? No, not at all. Any blurred vision? No, no. It’s the first time John’s had a good look at his wound. I just hope the girls, they like scars. It makes a guy more attractive, right? Selfie over, Dr. Jack begins his examination. I just observe for his movement and his pew-pew reaction with the light. OK, follow the light, please. I think that all of his neurological signs are perfectly normal, so I think it’s just only the wounds. Would you mind if I prescribe you antibiotics? Cos right now I think you will need it. OK. Is that going to affect my flight? Is that going to affect me getting on this next I think that you can catch your flight. Great. No problem. It’s a result, though Jack says John’s had a narrow escape. In case of John, I think his accident is not serious at all, by my experience, because I used to have the case who lost his arm or maybe decapitated. With the all clear and a new dressing, John and Chris can make their way to check-in. Thank you very much. OK. From Godfather’s. Get to fly. Get in. The universe is doing its hardest to try and ruin things for us, but we’re just not going to give in. There’s just better times ahead, we know that for sure. But once again, fate takes a hand. I don’t think I got my passport back off them. I had it handed in at the desk at the hospital there. Did they give it back to you? No. Oh, here we go again. With John convinced he’s left his passport at the medical centre, airline staff race over to see if they can retrieve it in time. Or has that knock to the head affected his memory? The agent of the medical centre has confirmed that they returned the passport to you already. Did you find the jelly? They didn’t give it back to me. Please have a look again. Sorry. I haven’t. I haven’t. It was mixed in with all my bloody clothes. Passport in hand, John and Chris are free to continue their Far East adventure. Bangkok Airport serves more than just Bangkok. It’s the gateway to Thailand’s holiday islands. Alicia and Georgia have been sampling the delights of Koh Samui. So far, they’ve done it in style, thanks to Alicia’s dad, Andy, and his partner, Chan. But they’re flying out today, and the girls will be on their own. So far on holiday, they’ve done absolutely nothing for themselves. Jen’s organised virtually everything, so we’ve decided from now on they’ve got to start organising it all themselves. But we had to force them into booking their accommodation. Yeah. They haven’t even booked their boat yet to go to the formal party. So we’re going to have to tell them to do that, otherwise that’s not going to happen. Now they’re down to reality. I don’t know how they’re going to get on once we’ve gone back. They’ve been staying in the same accommodation we have, but they’re now having to do the backpackers bit with the one stars and the hostels. So now it’s the moment of truth as Dad and Chan say goodbye to the girls. Well, you better be careful. I don’t want to get a phone call. Oh, please. I’m not a kid anymore. Bye, I love you. You’re sweaty. See you. Bye, I love you. So it’s goodbye to the good life. From now on, the friends will be roughing it. They’ve already had to move into more modest accommodation. We’ve not got room service. We need the room service. Bar can’t do my hair. I don’t know, they don’t really have toilet paper up here, but in the bars and that, people just squirt themselves and then be done with it. I couldn’t do it, to be honest. And you just have to squirt… Into the hole. ..and then you get this bowl. It’s just a big bucket full of water with a little pot in it and they just scoop it and just… I don’t know, but we didn’t do it. We had to go and get tissue. We couldn’t do it. I think it’s good to do things like this. Yeah, gives you a kick up the arse, doesn’t it? I’m not scared. I think I’m quite sensible. Come on up. Come on up. Their first task is to book a boat to the full moon party on the nearby island of Koh Phangan. Hello. Do you know the speedboat for full moon party? Speedboat. Speedboat. Full moon party. Have a rumlak. High speed boat, yeah. Yeah, yeah, high speed boat. That’s not right. That’s not right. It starts from one, goes all the way through to seven. So you get picked up and you have to wait an hour? That’s not right. That is right. No, I’m not booking nothing. I’m not paying for a speedboat. I want to get there in speedy time, not fucking sit on the boat an hour and wait. Five-star restaurants are now a thing of the past. We didn’t come to places like this when we were told by Dad and Gem. Don’t really know about. I don’t even check my account, I just draw it out. It’s not going to last forever, is it? Thank you. Thank you. They’ve discovered a knack to eating cheaply. Thank you. Sorry, we can’t tip you. It’s not just food and accommodation. Every bus and boat will have to be paid for. OK, so how much is it altogether? Yeah. Now they’re on a budget, Alicia and Georgia will have to watch what they spend. But what did they spend? How much is that, anyway? 2,400. What’s 8 plus 8? 80. It’s 58. It’s 2,400. 8 plus 8 is 19. 16. 16. I love that. I am what you’re doing. I know. They’re smiling now, but they’ll have to improve their maths if they’re to survive the holiday without the bank of Dad. I cannot afford water. OK, OK, OK. I have no money. Back at the airport of smiles, Matt’s still stranded. His wallet’s been stolen and now he’s losing his sense of humour. And that is cheap, that’s what I can afford. Sergeant Jang has told him he can’t use his girlfriend’s card details to book the flight. Some airline, if you buy ticket, buy credit card. Before you have fight, when you check in, you must show this card too. So he’s calling his mum to see if he can get some cash through his travel insurance. Hi, all. Hi. Travel, travel, travel. But phoning Rotherham on your mobile doesn’t come cheap. Telephone. We have some card. You want to make overseas, right? No. I don’t know. I’ve got to ring that number. That number. That number. They’ve told my girlfriend. That number, I ring that. They will definitely help me and bring me money to airport. Nothing else working. Wrong number. Wrong number. I have to go back. You’ll never see me in Thailand ever again. Ever. Back at the tourist police, Matt bites the bullet and calls Mum on his mobile. It doesn’t connect to anything. Well it’s a massive number as it is. I’m thinking it’s what 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. It’s 14 numbers long. Right, all right, mum, I’ll try it again. I’ll try it again. All right, mum. Yeah, so… Finally, Matt gets through to the insurers. It’s a flex account travel cover upgrade. Worldwide cover. Yeah, it’s emergency, international emergency. Sir, that is mean you can’t get money. I need… I need to fax this. What do you want to do? Sir, can you take a photo and send by… Oh, you’re scared? Because we… Can you send by email? You just make things complicated. They need that document to prove that I’ve been robbed. Then they might send me money, might give me money. You can’t just buy a ticket and just show them your passport and get on a plane. Why can’t they pull strings and make one exception? Why can’t they just go to the airline and say, look, he’s here, let’s just let him show that ticket, passport, and get him on. Why can’t they just do that? Unbelievable. So if I don’t do that, I’m just here forever, am I? I just waste away. With no solution in sight, Matt’s in danger of forgetting the airport’s golden rule. Smile. Not only does Bangkok call itself the airport of smiles, it prides itself on its helpful and friendly staff. As Matt’s discovered, from dawn to dusk they’re here to help. Take Officer Nook from airport security. I love working at the airport. I love passenger from every country. But beware, when she’s checking you in, she’s really checking you out. I come to work at the airport because I need to find boyfriend from Europe. I love people from England. Yes, I find them every day. But I don’t know why they don’t like me. Maybe because I am funny girl. While Officer Nook wishes passengers a pleasant flight, Captain Jack welcomes them to Thailand with a smile. People visiting Thailand, like, they know the rule. When they know the rule, most of them, when I smile, they will smile back. Yes! Can I ask you, how do you like Thailand? This way. Did you say welcome to Thailand? See? I missed that. How do you like Thailand? Pardon? How do you like Thailand? Thailand? Very much. Yeah, this way. Welcome to Thailand by the way. Why you come to Thailand? Sorry? Why you come to Thailand? For honeymoon. Honeymoon? Oh my gosh. Congratulations. Thanks. Captain Jack is a special… I’m especially happy to welcome this visitor to Thailand. So you have a good trip? Yeah. He’s just got hitched himself and he’s still basking in the afterglow. We are happy and we made the music video and I share it to the cyber world. Is it fun? Me. My wife. Me and my wife. My wife. Me. My wife. Me. Me and my wife. Back at Tourist Police HQ, Melody’s just stepped off a connecting flight from Phuket and her passport’s not with her. It’s another case for Bo Pit to look into. On the plane, where did you keep your passport? I can’t remember. You cannot remember? No. But both these bags, both of these bags here, was in the… What is that called? Room. You know about the head? I know, I know. Yeah? After you get on the plane, did you take it out from the cabin? Can you remember? No, I didn’t. I didn’t take it out. Oh. No. Lost passports are an everyday problem at Bangkok airport. Melody thinks hers fell out of her little bag when she was putting it in her big bag. It’s heavy. It’s a beach bag and it doesn’t show. I’ve only had one bit of hand luggage, but where I was so over in my… normal luggage they told me to take out seven kilos so that’s when I got this bag out to put everything in she lost passport camera wallet sunglasses everything inside Good to see you. I’m back. My name is Melody. I’m from Hawaii. Melody. Without a passport, Melody can’t leave Thailand. never mind catch her flight, she calls the British Embassy for help. I need to do an emergency travel document. But you only can do that in the morning, not the afternoon. I’m thinking, am I going to be stuck here? Do you know what I mean? Like, how long for? I’ve got no way of getting home, no passport, no transport. I’ve got no ID on me. So, yeah, really, really stressful. You need a stiff drink after this. Definitely. The staff take a moment to discuss her case when Melody steps out for some fresh air. But Melody’s not happy with the way the police are handling her case. They’re not really taking care of me in a nutshell. There’s no simplization here at all, and I felt a little bit interrogated. With the embassy due to close for the day, Today, Melody doesn’t want to risk the trip into Bangkok. I don’t want to get there and it’s going to be shut. That would just be the worst. That would tip me off the iceberg. It really would, because I’m so stressed out right now. Like, it’s very stressful. It started to look like another night in Bangkok. You know, I was so looking forward to getting home, and now I can’t. I suppose I could top up in my town, though, can’t I? Back at the airport’s medical centre, Jack the flying doctor is busy taking orders for his next trip to England. The nurse who works here earns just only £20. for one day. As a pilot you can shop in any place you fly. Okay, so I try to make everyone happy when they work with me. Okay, so we finished getting it. made the order from minus. Emergency case. OK. One patient get fenced at gate Delta 1 Alpha, so I have to be there now. The presence will have to wait. A passenger has collapsed at one of the gates with a suspected heart attack. Jack, please give me CPR. OK, CPR. I’m planning to get on A. As a pilot, Jack takes the short cut across the tarmac. You’re talking about the Delta 1A, right? Yes. OK, D1A, turn around. Turn left. Copy that, we’re on 18. The plane is passing by. OK, turn right. I can’t believe it. What’s wrong? What happened just now? I didn’t see him. The patient is an Italian tourist taken ill as he boarded the plane home. He literally just collapsed. Okay, so just collapsed? Okay. He’s 74 years old. Okay. He’s on… Antibiotics, bronchitis, hyper pressure. Okay, so that’s all you have, right? Yes. The patient’s pulse is faint, so Dr Jack administers oxygen. Are you okay? Okay, sir. Let me help. Let me. Okay, let’s move. When the patient starts responding, he’s stretched out of departures. There’s an ambulance waiting to take him to hospital in Bangkok. Two hours later, Jack’s back. I’m exhausted. He’s confident the patient will make a full recovery. When he arrived at the hospital, he gained full conscious, but he’s still confused. And he’s pleased with the way his staff responded. to the emergency. The team, the team, I have to say the team, took care of him complete. My team is fantastic today. It’s another happy ending. Thanks. But he knows his next shopping trip’s really gonna cost him. On the island of Koh Phangan, British holidaymakers Alicia and Georgia have joined the crowds at the full moon party. This techno-fuelled dusk-to-dawn rave on a beach has become a rite of passage for thousands of young Brits. With its day-glow face paint, vodka buckets and magic milkshakes, it’s a good place to find yourself, or just get lost. Eight out of ten people are going to lose it, come on tonight. I’m going to hold that! But losing each other could be the least of their worries. Fucking lethal, innit? We watched some documentary on Thailand and it was like saying all the dodgy stuff that happens and we thought, right, we better not go. And it actually was not going to come but then we just thought, we’ll go, we’ll have a look. If it feels a bit dodgy we’ll just go home early. But having come all this way, be ashamed not to join in. What do you want to do? We’re running out of drinks. Do you want to get another bucket? Fuck it. I’m gonna be on the floor. What do you wanna do then? Let’s get another one. But even the drinks are a disappointment. That ain’t vodka, is it? That is disgusting. What? That’s not vodka. That is disgusting. Don’t taste something like this. Try that. Don’t want it. Disgusting. Where’s the money? I haven’t paid her. You haven’t paid her? All right, we won’t have it. Don’t want it. They just probably refill it round the back with like petrol or something. It’s not just the vodka buckets that are a let down. It’s like meeting these students all bungling everyone at once. It’s not always packed up to be actual. Three points. It’s absolutely shit. I don’t really see what it’s got. It was all right. I wouldn’t rave about it. London is the best thing. Shoreditch is better. Yeah, Shoreditch is better than that. Fucking perfect. So much for the full moon party. Oh, the fuck! And Alicia’s not the only one feeling fed up tonight. Back at the airport, Matt seems no nearer to getting home after his long evening with the tourist police. One, two, three, four, five, six. About six hours. Matt’s ensuring he’s not going to be late. want to see proof he’s had his wallet stolen. This email, there’s something attached to it, and he’s opening. Printing. I have to sign. Scan. Send back. Oh, OK, OK. Just a moment. Despite doubts from Sergeant Chang, Matt’s convinced he can buy a flight online using card details from the UK. He calls the British Embassy for advice. I know, I know, that’s what I tell these. Oh, I’ve got the Embassy man here saying it’s stupid. I don’t need the card to get on the plane. Try that then. Thank you, thank you. Bye, bye. He said to me, British Embassy man, if my girlfriend books me flight with my card… I need to show them. She booked back home with her card, I don’t need to show nothing. Suddenly, Sergeant Jang has a thought. What kind of card? Yeah, that she buy the ticket. It’s credit card, right? Credit card or debit card? Debit card. Oh, debit card is no problem. It’s OK. It’s OK. Debit card is OK, not credit card. It turns out… While a credit card might have to be produced on departure, a debit card doesn’t. Well, this could have been sorted hours ago. Right. Things are finally on the move. All Matt needs now is his girlfriend’s debit card. I need a debit card. Oh! Angela, I need a debit card. You’ve got to find me one. You’ll have to ring your mates, I don’t know. I need… Right, what are you… Not a credit card, debit card. Well, I can’t do it then, can I? Well, I’m here forever then, aren’t I? So long. At five to three in the morning, Matt finally books his flight. It’s another triumph for the tourist police. He get a fight, just… He will going home. Coming soon. I don’t know what I’m going to do for next. The Manchester plane’s not leaving for quite a while. 13 hours. But once again the tourist police can put a smile on his face. I just want to be alone. Sergeant Jang unrolls the official tourist police duvet. Queen. And he can get his head down for one more night in Bangkok. It’s a brand new day at the airport of smiles and with so many different nationalities passing through it’s one of the best places in the world to people watch No one’s better place to do it than Officer Chibidoo. How may I help you? From her vantage point at the information desk, she can see you coming a mile off. Take left, please, at the red line. With the appearance, I can tell very easily if they were from India. Dubai, yes. Pakistan, China, they have this specific look. British, they have this elegant look, especially with business guys. Yeah, they pride with themselves. They stand straight. and with their strong accent. You know, like, a bit snobby. A bit snobby. But not everyone matches that snobby British stereotype. In fact, some people make a point of smashing it a bit. That’s me. That’s Paul. Paul’s from Dunedin indeed, but he lives out here in Thailand, only leaving reluctantly when he’s due back on the rigs. I work in Norway. I do two weeks on, four weeks off. So I spend my time over here, have my girlfriend over here and just enjoy myself. The thought of even going back to Dundee, nah, love Thailand, love it to bits. It’s full of beautiful women, it’s sunshine, you can’t even compare the two, you know. I’ve got a tie with a little Thai badge. I’ve got the headband on. And of course you’ve seen the mask, a little bit of terrorism. Just for show, Thailand one love. Paul’s done the sensible thing and arrived at the airport in plenty of time. In fact, he’s got 14 hours to kill before he catches his plane. My flight’s at 2 o’clock in the morning, so I have to check in about 11 o’clock tonight. But that’s fine by me, I’m happy. I don’t mind. Just float about. Couple of beers, couple of smokes, have a little lie down somewhere. But passing time at any airport can be a drag, even at the airport of smiles. Cha-dee-ga! Me, cheers. OK, I’m going to get an Alpion. That’s OK. You sure you don’t want one? It’s not just the passengers who get bored. The staff too have to manage their downtime. Sergeants Jang and Bhopit take the opportunity to do a spot of PR work for the tourist police. First… Oh! You’re welcome. OK, bye. Where are you from? Israel. Italy. Have you been to here before? Israel. I’ve been here once. Oh, OK. If you need some help, call to my office. Solid. Solid. First friend. Yeah. Yeah. Call to this office. number yeah you can get for the bookmark you know when you read reading the book you’re welcome but the captain jack there’s nothing sadder than an empty immigration room this time is like nobody you can see nobody See, see, nobody, nobody, nobody’s here. Thai people, we love our country, and we like to have everybody come visit. So this kind of… It’s kind of sad situation that I got right now. Captain Jack cheers himself up by uploading another one of his home videos. This is my channel. This is my first performance in immigration. His star turn at the last immigration party has gone down in departmental history. Do you know who are you talking with? the superstar of immigration bureau look look in the middle Look. The commissioner of immigration bureau retired. So we made a party to farewell him. And our division made the performance to celebrate the retirement. I am in the middle. Still in the middle. Look. And now Mr. Commissioner, he will call me up like, Gangnam, Gangnam, come here, come here. And I wonder one day he will remember my name. In downtown Bangkok, Melody’s a step closer to getting home. Yesterday she told the British Embassy she’d lost her passport, but today a funny thing’s happened. I found my passport within another bit of hand luggage that I had, that had a bit of a rip in it and it was underneath, in between a particular notebook that I use. I take it out because I like to write notes, et cetera, and it was just floating in between. After reporting her passport missing, Melody wants to double check it’s still valid. I found my passport. that’s good. I found my passport. So I just thought I’d come to the embassy of courtesy to see yourself, maybe so you can make sure that this is valid and not reported stolen or lost. It’s not the first time something like this has happened to Melody. I have got a track record of missing flights. It’s been late everywhere, etc. But that’s because I’ve got a busy schedule and I suppose I leave everything to the last minute. Yeah, so I suppose it is a little bit of a tickle for me. I’ve fired my hands up. Keep it safe. Yeah. You’ve got to laugh about it, yeah. A very relieved Melody can go ahead and book her flight home. Alicia and Georgia are also on their way back to Britain, none the worse for their full moon party experience. One of these boys was that proper weirdo and he’d just come up behind me and started ducking behind me, like, grabbing my arms and going like this, and I was like, what the fuck are you doing? Fuck off. And then we had to leave cos he was such a weirdo. Georgia ended up sleeping with him. No, I did not. I need a tissue. After all those budget hotels, the girls have decided to treat themselves. It was like premium, cos then the chair reclines and you get extra leg room and stuff. It’s a long flight. You’re sitting in this part, one by the aisle, one next to the gate. OK. One by the aisle, one by the… What next? What next? Next to each other. One eye and one finger. No, we went… They might have survived Thailand, but they didn’t quite do it on a backpacker’s budget. Shall we tell them how much we spent? We put all our money together and you can tell them we spent about five and a half grand. I don’t know how people do it on a grand. I was on the phone to my dad saying, you can send us 200 squid kajal. I thought you ran out of money. At the departure gate, the friends take a few final moments to reflect on their experiences. And the profound effect Thailand has had on them. We’ve definitely changed, though. Like, we had dinner the other day and we found the hair in the food. And usually, if I was in England, I’d be, like, complaining, saying, I’m not paying for this, it’s disgusting. And I just pulled the hair out and carried on eating. I shocked myself. And on his way home to Yorkshire is Matt. He… kill for a meal with a hair in it. Last thing I had to eat, cockroach. Crunchy. After a night under the tourist police duvet, he’s not had much kip. So I’ve had, what, about five hours in the last 48 hours, I think. Well, I’m on my way home now. Last night, I couldn’t see light at the end of the tunnel. Thought I’d be here forever. Upstairs, up that escalator. Thank you. After checking in for his flight to Manchester via Guangzhou in China, Matt has his hard-earned boarding pass in his hand. No, I won’t lose that. Misplaced my boarding pass. I think I’ve put it down when I put my stuff through the x-ray machine. I don’t understand where it’s gone. Matthew James, you’re waiting here for the new boarding pass. Right, no problem. Once again, the airport staff save the day. A replacement’s issued and Matt can finally get home to see his daughter. There you go, yeah. Does that everything match? Does it match with that? Thank you. I keep on that. Zip. Can’t wait to get on playing. Can’t wait. Biggest hug she’s ever had. Hey, I’ve got to go. Can’t talk about my daughter. See you later. Matt’s on his way, but Paul’s still got six hours to go before his flight takes off. Although he’s managing to pass the time. Cheers. From the minute I get up to the minute I go to sleep I drink, so… That’s it. I’m pure Scottish. It’s there. It’s in the blood. Paul may be Scottish, but his heart’s in Thailand. I’ve been having enough party since the minute I got here. I’m not actually pissing, it’s an elephant that has water coming up my hand. That’s my girlfriend. I love her a bit, miss her a lot. My dream would just be to stay here. and not have to go back to work at all, you know. Paul’s starting to feel sentimental, so he decides to go back into Bangkok and give his girlfriend a surprise. I’ve been here from 12 o’clock today. My flight’s at 2 o’clock in the morning. I’ve had enough. I just want to go back to YM. I’ve checked in, but I’m about to check out again. But he’s already passed through immigration. He can check in any time he likes, but he can never leave except on a plane. Go to Abu Dhabi. I already been through in Kampushkakan. You cannot outside. If I go change flight, I can do. You cannot outside because you transit heart centre. The airport has put its foot down. There’s nothing for it but to have another drink. I have to pay with card. Credit card cannot. Credit card minimum 500 baht. Oh, OK. She’s drunk. She’s running away. Paul’s not the only one who’s had a few tonight. Blackburn girls Becky, Jenny and Courtney are on their way home after the holiday of a lifetime. It’s been the best holiday ever, like, literally. I can’t even put into words how good it actually is. And I can’t even… I actually cried. All the fireworks went off and a little tear came down my face and then I went… Oh forget it, it’s happening, I just burst out into singing. It was so funny, it was amazing. Magaluf, never again. Zante, never again. Thailand, every year. Forever. Sounds like the party went on till the very last minute. We ended up having a few drinks, singing along to all the songs. Yeah, there was this band playing, like Oasis and everything. Half eleven we said, right, we need to go. Can I see what you have, please? Yeah. OK, I will have this then. Thank you. On check-in tonight is Officer Nook, still single, still smiling. But those last few drinks could prove costly if the friends don’t make their gate in time. Oh, gosh. This is so much stress right now. What is this place? What do we do here? Flying… We’re trying to do minutes past one, and we need to board at half-an-hour. Right, so we’ve got six minutes to get to our gate. Right. The girls aren’t the only ones having trouble. Paul’s got his gate number, but he can’t find the gate. See it? BELL RINGS Yep. SHE LAUGHS See it. See it? See it. What’s it do? Yeah, I think I’m in the wrong bit. Jenny, hurry up. But no matter how late you are for boarding, you’ve got to make time for the essentials. Excuse me, where can I get a smoke? Jenny, we really need to go. We really, really need to go. All right, Mum. Bye, bye, bye. Why don’t we have a look on this board to see where we are? Do you want to go? Let’s risk it. But, look. Oh, God, I’m scared. I think we should run. How is this even happening? We should all… All right, hurry up. I think there’s about five people left. We actually do need to be really quick. The girls make their flight in the nick of time. Meanwhile, Paul’s epic journey is nearing an end. We’re getting there. We’re getting there. We’re getting there. At last, he’s tracked down Gate C8. But after all that walking, he decides to take a short nap, just as boarding gets under way. And as the plane fills up, Paul goes almost unnoticed behind the partition. Then, just as the gate is about to close, an eagle-eyed airport official spots him. After a few anxious moments they manage to revive him. And after checking on his well-being, Paul is helped gently on board. So it’s goodbye to the airport of smiles. Though you can always get another drink on the plane. It’s the eve of the annual airport awards and the staff are being extra specially nice. When I help others I feel so happy and I feel good. Everyone wants to win the coveted award for customer service. When somebody has some problem they can come. We can’t give them the nice happy ending. But not everyone’s impressed by the customer care they’re getting. That doesn’t work for me at all. Cosmos and Harry can’t get a flight back to London. These women are so useless, you know, they’re absolutely useless. And Will’s not. left high and dry after a night on the town. Is there another flight at any stage today? But he’s only got himself to blame. Don’t get drunk in Thailand. That’s the key message. The medical team rally round when a British backpacker puts his foot in it. This is it. It is quite gruesome. And we meet the airport doctor who’s so popular he’s got his very own fan club. I love you. But first, a man who loves to ask, are you being served? I love European tourists. Bae from VAT refunds has become a legend in the world of customer service. Good morning, sir. Everybody in the airport knows me. I can meet everybody, I can talk to them. When they come to me, I feel really happy to take care of them. Bay likes to make every tourist feel at home. I like to… English language. Passport please. Thank you. English people, they are very lovely. English, Japanese, Chinese, oh and Thai. And if you try a bit of Thai, it makes Bay’s day. When you come to Thailand, you can say Thai words. It’s simple. Hello, we’re Thai people. You can do like this. And when you would like to thank them, you can use Thai words. Like this. And you can smile with them. Because Bay knows that nothing speaks louder than a smile. One, two, three. Customer satisfaction is top priority for the tourist police too. They may be armed, but don’t worry, they’d much rather help you out than shoot you down. And there are more than enough tourists in trouble to keep Toy and her team on their toes. Thailand is just like a normal country. The young people… They don’t know, they don’t have experience about travelling to another country on his own. Today, Toy’s customer service skills are being tested by British backpackers Cosmos and Harry. No. Hey, look, this is our ticket here. We need to go home. They’re ending their holiday a week early after they were robbed on the holiday island of Koh Samui. Money got stolen out of our bag. And then the tourist police in Koh Samui sent us back to Bangkok and then we spoke to the embassy. They practically said they can’t help. And they said to come to the airline and the airline sent us home early. But Cosmos isn’t happy with the flight his airline is offering him. I can’t fly on the 25th, that’s impossible. That is impossible. That doesn’t work for me at all. On the 25th? Well, what’s the date today, the 21st? I told you we were supposed to sit in the airport until the 25th. It’s so useless, you know, they’re absolutely useless. That’s too late. Hang up on this woman, she’s doing my night. While Harry holds for the airline, Cosmos has a brainwave. Excuse me. Yes? Can you check if there’s any flights leaving with any other airlines today for me? They’re not really travel agents, but Toy’s colleague, Chaya Korn, seems as keen as the boys to get them on the first plane home. Even so, Cosmos isn’t impressed. Make heart, they’re helping you, they’re not really doing anything. They’re sitting here. But he’s spoken too soon. Chaiacorn has found him a flight. 27,000 baht each. Yes. To leave. Is that for both of us? Is that one? For two or one? One. Is that direct? Yep. One way, direct. And that leaves tonight? Yep. 12.15. And when do I have to book that? Because I’ll go on a raid for more money. If you need to book, you have to go up to the Fort Fargo and take a Thai Airway outfit. No, listen, listen. As Cosmos leaves to raise cash for the flight Chaiacorn’s found, Harry finally gets an offer of a flight from their original airline for half the price. Erm, how do you want… Can I pay you cash? How do you want me to pay? Card? Basically, we still have to pay, like, £400. But at least we get home. But they’ve only got an hour to confirm the flight and Cosmos has disappeared. He’s a donor. He’s a donor. I told him to stay. Harry’s got to find his mate, and fast. Everyone in Bangkok airport has a nickname. It’s usually given to them at birth, but it helps make them more approachable when you’re lost and confused. In Thailand, the nickname, they think first and first name after nickname. in Thailand. Toy’s real name is Charya Kichai Isising, while Bay’s real name is, well, quite long as well. All right. My name is Kantinan Sukun. But it’s down at the airport’s medical centre where you get… get the best names, like Nurse Geng. His name’s not Geng at all. My name is Ponsak. My nickname, Geng, means strong man or smart man. Why, you laugh? Really? My nickname is Phuong. Or Phuong means bee. Honeybees. Bees. There’s a Doctor Geng, too, and a Nurse Oo. This means cock. Who is a cock? Chicken. But the man with the coolest nickname is Pat Pongchenycom. My nickname is Art, A-R-T. My mum called me that since I was born. I don’t know why. Actually, I’m not into art or anything. Dr Art’s been at the airport three years now and he’s got his own approach to customer service. I believe in karma more. If you do good, you get good. If you do bad, somebody will give you the bad things. OK, it’s all done. So try to be nice. Dr Art’s next patient is Tobias from London. His foot needs fixing before he catches his plane home. I’ve got a wound which needs redressing and just being cleaned out and stuff. Can you guys do that here? Yes, may I have your passport and your register? Tobias was looking forward to five weeks island hopping with his mate James, then disaster struck and he’s been hopping ever since. I got this about four weeks ago. I’d been here three nights, four nights, I think. And I had a small wound in my foot, which a load of a bacteria sort of jumped into. So I went to a clinic. They looked at it and said, we’re going to put you under, and we’re going to operate. And two hours later, I’m waking up in a ward with a huge hole in my foot. It’s still around here. It’s still a pretty open wound. We just need to make sure this is cleaned and not infected again. your medical report. Really good. Tobias’ foot is on the mend, but you should have seen it back in the day. Nervous viewers look away now. This is it from about two days later. This is it from sort of side on view. That’s just the skin pretty much hanging off. Tobias’ wound was pretty horrific, but his mate James managed to see the funny side. I went to the doctor, if you amputate it, here’s the address, send it home to me. I mean, did a little joke trying to get him worried up by eating some morphine. It was gory, but I don’t get squeamish or anything like that. This is me and the team of doctors and nurses. My foot’s still wide open down there. But yeah, they’re all so friendly and so brilliant. But it is quite gruesome. Everyone’s been enjoying Tobias’s wound. And now it’s Dr Art’s turn. So let’s go to see the wound. OK. So today we’re going to clean the wound for you. The wound looks quite good right now. I think it’s almost healed, but I think it needs two more weeks. But if it doesn’t heal, you may need a skin graft. So you need to see your doctor. That’s good that you go home. Thank you very much. It’s a routine case, but Dr R knows that small acts of kindness bring their own reward. Sometimes we have a lot of stories to learn about life. people alive. We don’t have to go out of the country or anything but we can learn from them. For Tobias and James it’s been a learning experience too. I was really impressed about the service, the hospital treatment that they get out here. Everything’s worked out quite well and we’ve had very bad luck but at the same time had good luck. Tobias is pronounced fit to fly. Thank you very much for the bus. It’s brilliant. He can leave Thailand with a smile, an insurance claim and a great set of selfies. The medical centre may fancy its chances in the airport awards, but they face tough competition from an unlikely quarter. The department lost property. The man… So I get it. Super Kitty’s famous for his love of superheroes. Superhero, Batman, Superman, Kraken. He’s become a hero in his own right thanks to his super powers of deduction. When luggage goes missing, he can usually pull it out of the bag. People usually push iPad on their toilet and they forgot it. Maybe animal, the cat, the dog or the big Sony Bravia. It’s very, very different. JetAv’s baggage tag is on the… you know? Today he’s helping Mark. He thinks he’s left his bag in Visa on arrivals. And to make matters worse, he’s left his wife in baggage reclaim. My wife will be waiting at the luggage belt. She does not know because she’s a different… you know? Your wife in the rocket came early? Yeah. Now this time? Right now, yeah. Right now. I put my bag down when I had the visa on arrival and I signed and got the visa and walked through but I left the bag behind so that’s why they sent me up to the lost property counter to relocate where it is. I exactly know where it is but it’s just because of the border protection I can’t go there. Supakissi’s mission is to reunite Mark with his luggage and his wife. We call to the staff, to the passenger, to the friend of the passenger. We try everything like detective. Using who knows what powers, Super Kitty’s onto something. I think we found his bag from the sound of arrival. They pass back through security and into the baggage hall. Super Kitty goes after the bag, leaving Mark to track down his wife. I’m not sure why she’s taking so long, because we set off at the same time, and I had the time to go up and make the complaint and come back, unless she’s waiting for me, because it looks like a lot of crowd there at the immigration. Yeah, first pretty shake it. You are a legend. Thank you mate. Yeah Yeah, so lucky. Yeah, thanks super kitty doesn’t want. Thanks. He’s just doing his job. I love it I love I enjoy helping the passenger. I think it’s for its everyday life for me Thank you super kitty really Yeah To make things even better mark spots his wife in the immigration queue. That’s my wife at the purple But she doesn’t seem too happy to see him. Give me a hug. When I clicked the photograph, I kept the bag down. Yeah. OK? And I walked out. OK? But I could not come back in because, you know, I’ve crossed the thing. So I had to go out. I went to Lost and Found. They were very helpful. I made sure to get my bag back, which I did, and reunite me with my beautiful wife. So here you are. Omar Uchama. So bags and family are reunited. It’s another happy ending. The annual airport awards are fast approaching and the race is on for the most prestigious award of all. Service. Excellent service. For tourists. But Bay won’t have things all his own way. But I will try my best. I always try my best anyway. Customer service may be hitting new heights, but after a hard morning testing the patience of the tourist police, Harry’s still looking for his mate Cosmos. He’s been offered a cheap flight home, but he’ll… he’ll lose it unless he finds his pal in the next few minutes. So he’s using their special mating call. That’s our whistle. We can’t find someone, we’ll just do this whistle and then they’ll come and find us. But maybe not in the airport, maybe somewhere more smaller. Maybe in the toilet. Wait one minute. Wait a minute, Bangkok airport’s one of the largest terminals in the world. It’s the size of 80 football pitches, so this isn’t gonna work. There it is. Oh, hang on, it has. Do your whistle help, I told you. Hey, they said we’ve got a flight tomorrow, yeah? How much? £1,300 for both of us. What, what? Yeah, but… Just pay for it now, come. Aha, we’re going home. I think we have to withdraw and get a bit of cash. Back at Tourist Police HQ, Cosmos tries to charm Toy into helping them buy the tickets. There you go, another drama. This one’s not on our job at all. Useless. They’re not exactly hitting it off, but Toyi offers to take the boys to the airline desk. It dawns on Cosmos that Harry hasn’t given him any details for the flight he’s about to buy. Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. I’m not feeling this vibe. Hold on. No, you stop talking. Hold on. You’re saying you want to- Stop talking, bro, because you don’t even have any money. Can you explain to me what’s happening? Because first of all, I’m paying for it. So before we put any… I want to know what’s happening. Yeah but I don’t want to transfer my money What time’s the flight tomorrow and where does it go? 8 in the morning And then to where? To where? Bro, but guess what’s out of here There’s no detail, I want details before you start doing all this crazy shit Bro, but guess what’s out of here, they’re the fucking details Have you got details? The money’s not the problem, I just want to know the flight details Because he’s just jumping around crazy, I need to know exactly what’s happening Because you know what I mean, I’m paying for the flight, I’m not going to pay for something that don’t make sense You understand me? Where are we going? Do you even know where we’re going? I do, it’s 6 Which one do you trust more? 26, no no 26,000 you absolute twat 26,000 It’s a load of money, but it’s only nothing. While the boys argue, the money is deposited in the airline’s account. We’re nearly there, we’re nearly there. And Cosmos still hasn’t a clue what he’s bought. But he has it. I don’t even know how flat he is. He just booked a flat and I ain’t got a clue where we’re going. Back at Tourist Police HQ, Chaya Korn fills Cosmos in on the ticket Harry’s talked him into buying, and he finds out there’s a little stopover in Guangzhou, China. Flight number, right? Wait, we’re there. there for one whole day. Yeah. Before our work. OK? And for our work. We should have just done what I said. It’s done now. I told you. That’s a joke. Thank you. OK, everything done. OK, thanks. Cheers, thanks. Well. You can take these off us. Told you I did not want to stop in China, bro. It’s done now, isn’t it? There’s no point of stressing. No, I might change it. I might come and let’s go find Wi-Fi. I might just scrap that. I don’t give a shit. I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be in China for a day. China’s, I don’t like it. With the unexpected Chinese stopover, It’s going to be a 53… three-hour journey back to London. We’ve got a ticket and it’s a load of crap because we have to stop in China for 24 hours and they haven’t really told us much apart from we’re going to China. I want to do so now I’m off to try and find another flight back home straight so that was a waste of money in my eyes and time customer service can be an imprecise art but as cosmos and Harry head off at least the tourist police can get back to them Downstairs in the medical centre, the docs are having dinner, a spicy papaya salad not recommended for first-timers. Today we have papaya salad party. P’Ma’am do it. I think that she’s the best. Oh! We have a lot of Thai… Thai food, a local food that makes people diarrhea. Sometimes it’s smelly. Yeah, if you eat too many, if you eat it too many days, it can turn to be. very smelly. I will not have a constipation tomorrow morning. You know what I mean, right? The medical team love it, but for the western tourists, Thai food can take a bit of getting used to. I’m sick everywhere, everywhere. It’s on my leg look. Look at that, I’m sick, everywhere. The doctors don’t mind, it keeps them nice and busy. I’ve just been vomiting since 12 o’clock today and yeah, just really sick. The latest victim is Tom. He’s been puking all the way from Phuket. Where were you going? London Heathrow. Oh, today. It’s the first time I’ve ever got food poisoning. Woke up about 4 o’clock this morning in Phuket for a 7am flight and just started throwing up straight away. Just vomiting, so… Just like uni. Treating Tom today… …is Dr. Palm. I make this kind of case every day. If you suffer from food poisoning and you have a signs of dehydration or low blood pressure, you should not fly because it’s quite a high risk for fainting on board. But I never see the patient who have the food poisoning die in Thailand. So take a deep breath in and out. Dr. Palm begins her examination. Is there any pain anywhere? Just slight discomfort. Mm-hm. OK. From pushing. She’s pretty sure it’s a common or garden case of tight tummy. For the problem that you keep vomiting since this morning, I can give you some medication to stop it. Yeah, sure, just as long as I get to the check-in desk. The nurse administers Tom’s medication. If it’s better, I will prescribe a tablet for him and let him fly today. He’ll be a little bit sleepy now and I hope that the symptoms of nausea and vomiting already stop. Thank you very much. Please wait for a while. Okay, thank you. Thank you. Dr. Pan orders half an hour’s rest. But with that guy in the next bed, that’s easier said than done. While Tom tries to sleep, Dr Pan creeps back to her office to indulge in her favourite pastime. I don’t want to talk about the games. I’m so shy. Who told you this? Who told you about the games? Dr Pan’s the latest fan of a craze that’s sweeping the airport. Candy crush. I keep playing it every day until I reach the highest level now. The doctor should not play the games when we have the patient inside the clinic. The tourist police are getting pretty good at it. We’ve got quite a chill job. Let’s play with our phone all day. But Dr Pan is the champion. Don’t talk with me about Candy Crush again, OK? Game over and Dr. Pan returns to check on Tom. Excuse me. Hi. How are you? I’m very well, thank you. Yeah, they can see you. Do you feel nausea? No. No nausea? No. OK. Maybe after this you can try… I’ll try to drink water, just a little bit. If you feel fine, I will prescribe tablets for you. sure. So Dr Pan clears Tom for take-off, leaving another satisfied customer. Everyone’s very helpful and very professional and very caring, and I think things seem to work here. Upstairs in Departures The competition for the annual Airport Awards is hotting up. On check-in duty today is Officer Bean. Boarding pass, please. Sounds like she’s been practising her acceptance speech. I am cheerful, I love to smile, and I’m always ready to attend the needs of others. I love to serve people. But Bean could face a late challenge from her new colleague, Barry. How many do you have, sir? Two? Pardon? Two? Yeah. OK. I love about the service. Because I have love about a passenger because many many passenger is is not the same we have to make each passenger feel Certified about our service. We have to do my best Barry’s customer service skills have already made an impression on beam He can work very quickly and he is very clever. I think and he is very kind Yeah, but is her interest more than professional She called me a meatball He looks like a meatball. I like him. I like to hug him. He is like a little baby. And also he’s like one of my team. Today, Meatballs trying to get backpackers Rosie and Jasna home. They’ve got an e-ticket, but the airline won’t let them board without the card they bought it with. And that’s long gone. To travel, apparently we need the bank card that we paid for the flight with, in which we lost about a week ago. Rosie hopes a copy of her bank statement will show proof of purchase. She’s gone off to the other side of the airport to print that off, but we’re going to have to repay for the whole entire ticket if we don’t get this bank statement. We’ve only got an hour and ten minutes left till we fly. I thought I was going to have loads of time. I was going to buy some perfume, get some cigarettes. It’s not going to happen now. We’ve got it all printed now, so hopefully this is enough to get us on the flight. But back at the desk, Barry isn’t satisfied. And do you have the card number? No, because the card number would have changed now I’ve got a new card. No, no, I mean the original one that you bought the tickets. No, it won’t be on here. Now I’ve got a new card. Not now. I mean the original one that you bought the tickets. No, it won’t be on here. With no card number on the statement, Barry calls his manager. I knew this would happen. This has got to be our last bit of bad luck. I told you, I said it. It’s a thing that helps bring bad stuff along. Barry has bad news. I already consulted a manager. But normally he’s had to show the credit card number. But how am I going to get the credit card number when I haven’t got the credit card? The credit card is lost. So I don’t have the number. There’s no way of getting it. getting the number. With time running out, Barry starts clutching at straws. Can you remember the number? The card that you bought the ticket? No, because it’s lost. It’s a massive, long, 12-digit number. But with things looking bleak, Barry exercises his discretion. They’re going to make a copy of your passport. So is everything OK? OK, that’s OK. I will accept you on board, but you have to sign a form. Yeah, that’s fine. The form protects the airline against fraud. If there’s a problem, they can collect the cost of the flight direct from the girl’s bank accounts. By this time, Rosie and Jasnah will sign anything. I think it’s all sorted now. I think we’re all good. I’m gonna let some It’s another triumph for customer service. You have to solve the problem about the passenger. Every day is a challenge. The girls get their tickets and Barry gets a pat on the back from the boss. Man of the year, for EVA, man of the year. Oh, really? On our team. It’s departures where most things tend to go wrong. Teenagers Bijan, Sam and Mitchell have missed their flight after going on a bender in Bangkok. So we couldn’t make it in time. So they’re trying to get the folks back home to buy them new tickets. If you can somehow pay… I’ll get on it. Bang of mum and dad bails them out, but they’ve got another problem. Every fucking time. The fourth member of the group, Will, has gone missing. It’s a liability. Will is a liability. I’m not going to be able to get out of here. I don’t have a choice now, my parents have just spent like… Yeah, it’s like 800 bucks. With their new flight leaving in 90 minutes, the boys have to check in without Will. Oh, my God, you can drink for free on this plane as well. As soon as they get their boarding card, they’re going to the hotel. They get a message will somewhere in the airport. Oh my god Probably like walking around with a drip or something Last night I wake up in some I’m just ditched and I don’t know how or when. And apparently I was 30km away from our hotel, so that was the story. Don’t get drunk in Thailand. That’s the key message. But it could be an expensive lesson if Will doesn’t act fast. You have to buy an airline ticket. We’ve all bought an airline ticket. We leave soon. We need to go get one. It’s time to call home. I missed my flight. Ah, because Bangkok will do that too. The other guys are very booked in tickets, so I don’t want to stay here by myself. I was wondering if I could use your frequent flyer points. Yeah, a lifetime golden member, yes? Okay, thank you, goodbye. Alright, it’s worth a shot. Armed with his mum’s points, Will races to the desk. My mum is a lifetime gold member. We won’t sell the ticket for now. That’s bullshit. There are some rules that can’t be bent. Will can’t board and his mates face an agonising decision. Or not. I’m so angry right now. Yeah, I’ll see him out. So I’m probably going to have to spend another night here. Thanks, see ya. All my friends have ditched me. Hey, I got another buddy. You got a girl? Couldn’t get a flight, she dogged me. Bullshit. She said to wait because… Where’s everyone else? They’ve gone through. How do you go through? I don’t know, Bajan went up that way. I’ll see you in Melbourne, bros. Looks like Will’s stranded in Bangkok, unless he can come up with a plan, and soon. Fuck. Fuck. Fucking bullshit. While Will ponders his future, Wayne and his friends are still in a party mood after a fun-filled three weeks. Finishing it like I started it, I suppose. Right, that’s it. Here we go. I need this one to wash this one down. They’ve got… Got their tickets nice and safe and some memories that’ll never fade. Never get a tattoo in Thailand. Supposedly daughter, apparently doctor. And here’s the phone number for my new Thai wife, Nanny. Wayne’s been keeping his friends Kirsty and Kirstie Apparently he’s an idiot abroad, that’s what you said. That’s what she said. I’m showing off, look at that, yeah. World’s strongest man. Wayne, which way to the beach? That way to the beach. Departure is that way. Go on Aaron, go on Aaron. Yeah. He’s like made this holiday trip so funny for me. I literally have been so happy. But you can’t take him into a restaurant. No. With your mum or your dad or your nan. Wayne’s been on the bit every day. Shots of breakfast. What did we say? Five shots? Five shots, breakfast. We knew you like a book, Wayne. Five and all. Passengers partying at the airport’s nothing new. Beam’s seen it all before. Drunk passenger, they take off the clothes. Call Fatbeastron. Someone, they drink whisky in front of me. I just tell them that don’t drink too much. Yeah, that should do the trick, B. As Terminator says, I’ll be back. Uh-oh. Better get up. Wayne’s trip to Thailand may have damaged his liver. But it’s opened his eyes. Best spontaneous thing I’ve ever done in my life. And as soon as I got home, it was just work, work, work, and that’s it, I’m coming straight back out to go travelling again. I’ve got to do it, I think. There’s just so much to the world. You have a tea, I’ve been to some most beautiful places. One final mixer. Ciao. Appearances are everything at Bangkok airport, at least for the staff. Customer service isn’t just about helping people, you’ve got to look the part. A good appearance can create the good image of… the airline when passengers see wow she is very beautiful she looked very cheerful I want to talk to her something like that Barry loves swapping fashion tips with the tourists You don’t really need to do nothing. You just tie hair, take the hair, and you put it on your model. You usually put it a bit up and you stop posing. Over at the information desk… Gibidoo makes a point of always looking her best. Thai culture is so different to Westerns, different from Europe. We were taught to respect our uniforms, to give the uniform the respect. So the uniform will remind us of what we’re doing and what jobs are we in and what our position is. The tourist police always look smart. They have this attitude about our uniforms and they think they’re so cool, they think they’re so superman, superwoman in their uniforms. I don’t know. And the stewardesses always look chic. Every girl’s dream to work in an air hostess. They look so perfect in their uniform. So, you know, they have curbs. Over at VAT refunds, the staff are always well turned out. It’s their job to pay back the VAT on the items you’ve bought on holiday. It’s not the most taxing job, but it can be rewarding. In the morning, my boss gives money, big money to me. And the tourists come to me and I give money to them. Bayes developed his own rules for customer service. She didn’t even use it. First, I say, good morning. Good morning. Good morning, Savitri. Yes, sir. Can I help you? Good morning. Morning. Your bag’s very nice. I love to smile with them and say hello to them. Excuse me, where did you buy bag, your bag? In Argentina. What? In Argentina, in my country. Oh, it’s very nice. Yes. Yes! The tourists show application. Like this. One, two, three, four, five. Thank you very much. And the tourists very happy when gets money back. Today big money for you. And if the tourists are happy, then Bay’s happy too. I’m feeling happy and happy. Thank you. Welcome back. Thank you very much. You’re welcome. You’re welcome. At Bangkok airport, the smile is all part of the service. You come to Thailand, you will be happy. Welcome to Thailand. Deserted by his friends and desperate to get home, Will spent the afternoon testing the airport’s customer service values to the max. Does frequent flyer cover that? Is there another flight at any stage today? It’s a lifetime gold member. I’m pissed off. Is there one that I can get direct to Melbourne? There’s no way I want to spend another night in Bangkok. Is it possible to go via Singapore? Get me the fuck out of this fucking hellhole. My mum is a lifetime gold member. And I don’t know where I’m going, and I don’t know where I’m going. Take me home… Eventually, Will gets lucky. His original airline has a flight leaving in 24 hours and he only needs to cough up £80 to transfer his ticket. I’ll take tomorrow’s flight for the 4,000 baht tomorrow. Sort of a pull-out. But it does mean another night in Bangkok on his own. Do I trust myself? That’s the question. Down at the airport medical centre, the day shift is winding down after another rewarding day. All the doctors and nurses here love their work. I’m very happy, everyone. Several of the team have hidden talents, even secret passions. Dr Pan has a hobby she loves even more than Candy Crush. She’s a plane spotter. I love the aircraft, the airplanes. I love it. I cannot explain why I love that, but I love to see it. If I have a case inside the airside area, I can spot the aircraft, see the aircraft taking off and landing, and it’s fantastic. Dr Pan gets her tip off. A plane has just touched down with an unusual livery. You can see that with the heart. You can see that livery at the tail. It’s special. …in the heart side of Condor. And Dr. Pan’s no ordinary plane spotter. She’s an award-winning plane spotter. Dr. Pan, she was in a quiz show about airlines. She looked at the tails and she looked at the aircraft. She knows what it is. It’s so cool. I’m so proud to be the winner of that game show. I’m so proud about that prize for the aircraft model. And Dr. Pan’s not the only celebrity in the medical centre. Meet Dr. Geng. By day he’s a hard-working medic, by night he’s a pop singer and he’s about to switch roles. I have to go to record the voice, the song for my new single. That is my hobby, my part-time job. Actually I sing soccer. Dr. Geng’s being modest. He shot to fame a few years and several hairstyles ago on Thailand’s answer to the x-factor much to the amusement of his colleagues He is Tiffany because he faced a baby face But gang tries to keep his two careers apart Have to separate the role. Okay. This is doctoral. Okay. I’m in the doctor position. So I Treat the patient. I don’t sing while I’m doing a doctor job, okay? But when I’m in the toilet, I sing. Just kidding, just kidding. Tonight, Dr Geng’s off to the recording studio once he’s fought his way through his adoring fans. Geng the star is very good singer. Yeah, he’s very good. I love him. I have to follow him. As Dr. Gang heads into the city, it looks like Will has found a room for the night. Seems fine by me. Yep, a few semen stains. I don’t even care, I’m gonna be drunk so whatever. Despite missing his original flight after an all-night bender, Will hits the Khao San Road for the second time in two nights. Go by a pharmacy. Seriously, go by a pharmacy. One of Xanax. Will’s bought a prescription sedative, which can be dangerous when mixed with alcohol. It’s banned in Thailand, but it can still be bought under the counter at some pharmacies. Looks like we’re in for a good night. Get one more beer and then my memory’s going to be wiped. But right now, I don’t know, like, I’ve taken four. And you’re about to butt. If this was a non-tried-to-get-fucked-up situation, this was a normal situation, you’re meant to take two anyway. So I’ve only taken double the regular dose. Does that make sense? Not really, mate, and when in doubt, it’s always best to consult your doctor. Na, na. Na, na, na. Na, na, na. Na, na. Na, na, na, na. Na. Across town, in a Bangkok recording studio, Dr. Geng is warming up his vocal cords. But those long shifts at the airport mean he’s not had a chance to master the new material. The melody has changed and the rhythm has changed from the original that I heard. I think it’s going to be good, but I think I’m prepared for not that much as maybe make trouble to the sound engineer. But once in the voice booth, the magic happens. I will have a heart like a shadow, I love you right here Because love is what we have to solve Love will always be together His producer’s happy and the night’s still young, but Geng’s too tired to rock and roll. I’m gonna go and eat my food for dinner and then I’m gonna be back at my home and read my… Bible, okay? While Geng goes home to read the Bible, Will’s still popping pills on the Khao San Road. So I’ve had five. Five. That’s not even that many. It’s when you have more than five your brain starts to go loopy. Will runs into some tourists who’ve been stuck here since the late 60s. We’re in Bangkok living the dream. Viva la baby. Anything goes. Just don’t drink their mushroom shakes. Oh why’s that? That’ll fuck you up. Good, good time. That was fun. We brought a couple of miles to acid out here. Yeah. No! Yeah. No, we did not. He’s lying. He’s lying about that. That’s the only way we can fucking turn you, brother. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Nice to meet you, mate. Nice to meet you, guys. See you, brother. Yeah, brother. Have a good one. Just the drunken antics. As Will pops his sixth pill of the night, will he be missing his second flight of the week? It’s good. A new day dawns at Bangkok airport and it’s a big one too. The annual airport awards are just hours away. And rehearsals are in full swing. You don’t get this kind of thing at Luton Airport. As the excitement builds, Downing Baggage Reclaim, it’s business as usual. More than 60 million bags and cases come through the airport every year. Pear and Otter help track down the ones that get away. Funny thing that I found is that when the bag already come out and the passenger just run to the bag and Hey, my bag, my bag! That’s very funny and they’re chasing the bag like the bag gonna run from them. Once you’ve picked up your bags, you tend not to hang around. But Ali and Shannon picked up their luggage last night and this morning they’re still here. We’ve been waiting here now about… Nearly 12 hours I think, which is a bit too long, but we literally just sat on the seats and went to sleep with our blankets and towels. Ali is waiting for her best friend Tracy to arrive, her new best friend. Shannon has offered to keep her company. Pear and Otter are puzzled. They don’t know which fight that their friends get into, so they insist to wedding here. Baggage reclaim is good for reclaiming. claiming baggage, but it’s rubbish for anything else. Well we haven’t actually eaten yet, we haven’t had breakfast. We have a snack on a tiny little muesli bar and that’s about it. Here there is no restaurant or no shop for them to hang out or eating something to have breakfast or lunch like that. We actually haven’t had anything to drink either because we were a little bit skeptical about the water here and there’s nowhere to buy water so. There’s a tempting selection of shops and restaurants the other side of customs, but once they go through, they can’t get back. And with a flat phone, Ali doesn’t want to risk missing her friend. Her flight’s due in five past twelve, but I’m just going to double-check the board and hopefully it’s not delayed, fingers crossed, because I’m actually buzzing to see her. I cannot wait. Oh, no, it’s delayed. It’s delayed, like, by half an hour. 30 minutes is nothing for a baggage haul veteran and the time flies by. The queue was pretty long, like last night we waited an hour to get through that queue. Yeah. Now Ali just needs to pick Tracey out from the 80,000 other passengers who land every day. Hopefully she didn’t walk past me already. Ali’s got Shannon looking out the other end of the carousel. Ali’s over there still waiting. But Shannon’s never actually met Tracy. I should have told Shannon what she looks like in case she goes over there and I don’t see her. Maybe that was a rookie mistake. She’s about my height and she’s really curly hair. It’s really curly, it’s like really ringlitty curly hair she has. After all that, it’s Tracy who finds Ali. And there’s not a curly hair on her head. I am OK. I just went down to find her. Ali introduces. This is Tracy to Shannon. Tracy tells Ali and Shannon how she had her hair straightened and after their 16 hour mini break in baggage reclaim, the girls are off on the rest of their holiday. Up in departures, Beam is boarding another plane load of Brits, among them Tom, none the worse for that food poisoning scare. I went to the medical centre because I’ve had food poisoning, been very ill. So they gave me a certificate to fly and asked maybe if there are any available seats. So maybe nearer the toilet or an aisle seat. OK, sir. How many fees? All business class, you know. Business class? You may pay. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Never mind, Tom, it was worth a shot. If it’s me, I want to be upgrade as well. When I feel not well, when I feel sick, I want to sleep and… sit on the business class so that’s normal but try to deal with them try to explain them that it a little bit against the rule Tom makes do with a seat near the toilet but the knock back from beam like his vomiting and diarrhea won’t put him off coming back to Thailand I love this place and it’s certainly not the last time I’m coming back Tom’s not the only one heading home. Defying the odds and medical science, Will has made it back to the airport on time. At last he’s homeward bound. I could be home in my bed in 18 hours, which sounds pretty bloody good. That’s my thinking fingers. Thailand’s a weird place and it does weird things to weird people. Don’t go to Thailand if you want your sanity kept. And now I’m in Bangkok airport which is bloody huge and I don’t know what I’m doing right now. Hey mate, how’s it going? Yesterday, because on the 23rd I had a flight booked. Yeah that’s right, so you remember me. Oh of course. I’ve never met that person in my life but apparently I have so… Cup. Thank you. How much are the noodles? What are these? Are these good or bad? Not too spicy. But after dawdling at the shops… I’m going to be a pig. 300. He’s running late again. Cup and cup. If I miss this bite again, I’m actually fucked. Oh, shit. Enjoy. Will’s going to miss the main event because the annual airport awards are underway. In an airport where the customer comes first, the boss is rewarding the best of the best. I’m very proud of my airport. It’s our pride, pride of the nation. You see my smile? Yeah, a big smile. But everyone’s waiting for the big one, the award for customer service. For a show-stopping performance by a Bangkok dance troupe, the winner is finally announced. Will it be toy from the tourist police, Pan the plane spotter, or Geng the singing doctor? No, it’s Bey and the Bat refunds team! I’m proud, I’m proud, really, I’m proud. This is certificate. I love my work. I love my job. I love tourists. Eddie arrived the second… With its helpful staff and world-class signage, Bangkok Airport prides itself on being one of the most tourist-friendly airports in the world. But not today. I’m feeling lost in translation. All hell breaks loose at Police HQ when Louise loses her daughter. You told me to shut up! OK, when my daughter was missing! There’s confusion in customs as Elena tries to bring in her cat. How long you stay here, ma’am? My daughter! Go home! She’s extremely dumb. And there’s queue jumping in immigration till Captain A leads a crackdown. Sometimes you need to be tough when you deal with some passengers. Back in the line! A monk loses his sister, a Geordie loses his juggling stick… So this is actually happening now. ..and everyone’s feeling lost in translation. Customs is where so many misunderstandings can arise. Across 34 checkpoints, travellers are asked to empty their bags under the keen gaze of customs officers. Anything to declare? Like Officer Poppy. Communication to passengers is very, very important because if you misunderstand what they want to tell you, it’s going to be… It’s gonna be bad. Do you have anything to declare? Nothing to declare? Nothing to declare? Live life please? Poppy and her team have to watch out for anyone bringing in anything unusual and they’ve seen it all. Snake, live fish, live turtle in bag. Luckily they’ve got their high-tech X-ray machines to flag up any threats to the country. This one is banana and this one is Kit Kat. And I believe that it’s a green tea Kit Kat. We see a lot of drugs. We see ivory, we see rhino horns. Today, Christian has flown in from Nigeria with a big bag of white powder. It’s enough to raise Poppy’s suspicions. What do you have, sir? Just this. It’s spicy? Yeah. I know I don’t need to declare this. Oops! This one with… What kind of powder is it? This one is flour. Flour, eh? Poppy’s heard that one before. Okay, take this and those to the x-ray machine, please. The x-ray machine will help Poppy get to the bottom of this. The orange will present organic product. If some type of drugs will turn it in green colour. All right, thank you so much. Happy the white powder really is flour, Poppy lets Christian go with smiles all round. Bye-bye now. Yeah, bye. You have to allow them to do their work. I mean, you don’t need to… argue with them, you give them the freedom. If you’re free, you’re free. If you’re not free, the law will get hold of you, that’s it. Finding a common language is a big help, either that or downloading an app. Normally, people travelling can speak English, but some might not, and we cannot speak all kinds of languages. So we try to use all technologies to communicate too. passengers but all the technology in the world won’t help officer who with her next case how long you stay here ma’am elena’s flown in from moscow with her friend natalia and a cat it’s a present for elena’s son alexi they are at the show she’s extremely dumb Oh, my God. It’s huge in Tibet. You pay duty for 1,000 Thai Baht. But… Meh. No problem. Meh. OK. OK. Thailand has fairly relaxed quarantine restrictions on pets, so after a quick trip to the cash point for the £19 duty fee, Elena’s pussy’s free to enter. I do receive. Wait a moment. The ladies pay the bill and go in search of Elena’s son. OK, bye. Thank you. Son! Alexey can’t wait to play with his new pet. You know when you come back and there is something alive near you, something that you can play with, like cheer up, it means a lot for you and for everybody. Not all misunderstandings can be sorted out as easily as Alexi’s new cat. Over in Departures, Louise… has requested the help of airport officials after she missed her flight home to Paris. They didn’t let me get on the plane. I need to get on the plane. The plane left without her after an altercation at the gate, and what’s worse, her daughter Lilia has now vanished. You get to the gate, you go through security and your kid disappears. It’s relief all round when her daughter turns up. This is my daughter, that’s her passport, I found her back and basically they made me get off the gate, right? But Louise is unhappy with how an information assistant spoke to her when she was searching for Lilia. Thank you. She comes to the tourist police HQ to confront the officer. You told me to shut up. No, no, no. You told me to shut up. Moment, moment. You told me to shut up. No, no, no, calm down. No, no, no. I don’t calm down anymore. She called, she called. You told me to shut up. No, no, no, she called. Yes. No, You can shut up! Okay, when my daughter was missing! As they miss their original flight, Louise needs to find another one to get her and Lilia home. The staff give her a list of outgoing flights. Every day doesn’t really work for me. Air France, then I have to the Paris, but today. That’s fine, can I have the boarding passes? Thank you. But something gets lost in translation. Can you buy the ticket? I’m buying the ticket because I already paid for my ticket, right? I paid for my ticket and they took me away from the terminal. This is your responsibility. I don’t care. Gulf Air, Air France, American Airlines. lines whatever it is I need a boarding pass and I need to get back to France I don’t understand sir boss man the boss man of the tourist police is sub-lieutenant Nila chart a man with a reputation for plain speaking police cannot do everything so I don’t have any money and I’m boarding pass Are you drunk? Sorry? Are you drunk? No, I’m not drunk. Hmm? I’m telling you about my problems and you’re asking me if I’m drunk. I’m not drunk, sir. I’m crying. You have a whiskey before? No! Some whiskey before? No! You look like a drunk. Ah, I cannot to help you, miss. I don’t understand why this is happening. Right? No, ma’am. With no money and no ticket, it looks like Louise and Lilia are stuck at Bangkok Airport. Bangkok Airport calls itself the airport of smiles but don’t be fooled. To run smoothly an airport needs rules and no one loves rules more Get in the line than Captain A. Do you want this line or that way? This way. I don’t want all the passengers to expect that. We will always smile all the time. Sometimes you need to be tough when you deal with some passengers. The airport has more than 200 passport control checkpoints. It’s Captain A’s job to keep the queues moving. moving and the tourists in line. Back to the line. Back in the line. For Captain A the rules are simple. If you’re caught pushing in, you go right to the back. It’s not the rocket science to get in the line. So why you do that? It’s not acceptable. Not at all. Captain A bends the rules for no man. Sorry. And that includes Peter from Norfolk. Where’s your wife? But anyway, sorry, she’s already passed the line. That way, sir. Pardon? Just get back to the line. The rules is a rule. You need to get in the line, and I do have zero tolerance for the passenger. who didn’t follow by the rules. Zero tolerance. I’ve got to go to the back? Yes, of course. My wife is there. I’ve got my passport. She has my passport. OK, I can give you your passport. No, that’s fine, because… I can’t take it anymore. Yes, I do understand, but you know, I cannot answer the question to those passengers why I cut the line for him. So, don’t worry too much. Just one person? I’ve been to the toilet, I had to go to the toilet. You had to go quickly. Yes, but anyway, how can I answer the question for them? I’m not going all the way round there again. Please, that way. Please, let me in. Please. After a short stand-off, Peter makes a tactical retreat. …way in the end, like you’re sent to the prison cell or something like that. For the passengers who do that, they don’t like me. But for the rest of passengers who are still in the line, I think they love me. Not everyone has to go to the back of Captain A’s queue. Thailand is a Buddhist country. Monks are always passing through the airport and special rules apply. The monk is a representative of the Lord Buddha. And for the rules for the Buddhists, we can pay respect to the monk, but we cannot touch the monk at all. Monks are even fast-tracked through immigration, which is where the trouble began for Din Pala from Cambodia. His sister Sok got left behind in the queue and now she’s disappeared. My sister, she go with me. This is the first time for her. She cannot go anywhere. Not go anywhere. No care. Tourist officer Panya is assigned to the case. First stop is immigration, where Sok was last seen, but they arrive too late. Next stop, back at Reclaim. It’s back here. But no luck here either. Go outside. Do you have a meeting point with her It’s difficult to fly. Difficult, difficult because she knows I cannot speak English and Thailand. Everywhere she go with me. Having reached a heightened state of consciousness through many years of meditation, Dinpala has an idea. He’ll give her a poke on Facebook. So I go to there. Back at Police HQ, the officers get his Wi-Fi working and discuss the case. Dinpala gets connected, but he’s no nearer finding his sister. But she is not online. If she is online, I can contact her. But now maybe she knows the internet. They’re off again, but with 80,000 people passing through the airport every day, Din Pilar starts to lose faith. But just as hope fades, he spots his sister, much to Pania’s amazement. Socks in the queue at the mobile phone shop. She was trying to get a new SIM card so she could call him, but now there’s no need. I think he’s exciting and I’m glad to see he’s a top. This is my sister that I love her, but now I meet her. Thank you so much that you all the way go with me and taste my action. Thank you so much now. And Prada police, thank you so much. In the excitement, Panya nearly forgets the no touching rule, but no harm done, it’s another result for the tourist police. And it’s back to HQ for a team photo. Getting lost in translation is just one of the hazards of international travel. Doing yourself a mischief is another. Bangkok airport can sometimes resemble a war zone, with doctors treating 700 patients every week. The latest casualty is British Air Force. British backpacker Hannah. She’s been sent down from check-in where they didn’t like the look of her cast. I fractured my leg about five days ago in Vietnam. I was going canyoning, and I was doing a cliff jump at the end, and it was… supposed to run and jump over the ledge. I ran and then I stopped and then I fell and tumbled and I landed with all my weight on my leg. I’m due to fly out home today to London and they need me to get a medical certificate to say that I’m okay to fly. The fit to fly certificate should be routine but Hannah’s cutting it a bit fine. Today’s decision lies with Dr Art. How are you? I’m OK, thank you. Many sick people want to travel, but they don’t know the rules. When you travel by air, there is a risk if you have medical problems. You have to make sure that… Everything is okay before flying. How long has it been? Five days. Five days? You fly a long flight. Communication is very crucial for the treatment because if it goes wrong, it goes wrong. Normally, if you have… We have a cast. We recommend to split the cast because it might be swollen. The swollen, it can cause, you know, like compartment syndrome, which is, you know, you might lose your leg. Thing is, we cannot cut it here. You have to go to the hospital, but it takes only 20 minutes there, and then you have to come back. Yes, we still have time. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Because if you fly like that, I’m afraid that it will be bad. Well, I just… I really want to get there as quickly as possible so that I can fly. Well, hopefully they’re going to take my cast off really fast, but it just depends on traffic, whether I can get to the hospital in time. I really, really want to get on this flight. Has anybody told them that I’m coming? Yeah? OK. OK. I’m going to get taxi. The hospital’s only 14 miles away, but Bangkok traffic can be slow, and Hannah doesn’t know the tie for Get A Move On. maybe I need to go faster because I’ve only got less than two and a half hours now. Go, go, go! I don’t have any luggage. How long will it take? About 20 minutes. If Hannah’s to stand any chance of boarding her flight, she’s got to get across. get the cast cut and get back to the airport, preferably while the plane’s still there. Making yourself understood is one of the biggest challenges facing tourists and staff. All of your friends speak English. In a cosmopolitan airport like Bangkok, avoiding communication cock-ups is a constant battle. Over at Tourist Information, Officer Jibidoo is on the front line. How may I help you? For me, talking to Indians a bit. because their accent, their pronunciation and their accent, a bit hard for me to understand. You didn’t know, ah? British, British, Australian and New Zealand. Um, OK. And if no-one on the desk speaks your language, there’s a translation service at the end of the phone. Paruski. Paruski. But even that doesn’t always help. What do you want? Mau, And even if you speak perfect English, things can still get lost in translation. This almost looks like German. Toya and Ali were due to fly home to South Africa today till they got a message from their airline. Yeah, they were like, your flight is cancelled. So we were like, what are we going to do? And we called them and they were speaking in Thai. It was quite sad. something but then they made a plan for the flight to be rescheduled to tomorrow. So hence another day in Bangkok. But another day in Bangkok means another night so they need to find their airlines desk to help arrange a hotel. Right now we’re finding information counter to ask for Kastai counter. There’s a big question mark hanging over the information desk which is kind of fitting because Toya and Ali are about to get lost in pronunciation. Hello, please can you tell me where the office is? On the first floor, fifth down. Gate number eight. Gate number eight. Seems like he knew what he was talking about, so… I think you’re in good hands. Or are they? Down on the first floor, there’s no sign of their airline desk anywhere. Hello. I’m looking for the counter for Qatar Airways. Qatar Airways. Over there, please. Over there, he’s heading over there. Over there? Yes, over there. That direction. But they’ve already been over there and it wasn’t there. Ugh! First floor, is it B? Is it B? That’s what it says, we’re not on the first floor. Wait, it’s not simple. But hopefully we’ll find it. Looking for the counter for Katai Airways. Cheers. Eventually the penny drops. Oh! Hong Kong company. The descent is to Qatar Airways, so yeah. Back on the fourth floor, the girls soon find the Cafe Airways desk. It’s been there all along. They can enjoy an extra night in Bangkok after their free tour of the airport and a long lesson in clear diction. Maybe we just have to learn to say it better. Must be something like that. Qatar. Qatar. Thai. Over in customs, Officer Poppy is logging all the booze she’s confiscated from passengers who’ve exceeded their allowance. But in an airport like Bangkok, that’s not as easy as it sounds. And how can they write down this because it’s all Chinese letter? I believe it’s a liquor, sake, but it’s written in Chinese and I couldn’t read it. But I have to do the list, so I don’t know what I’m going to do with this. OK, next time, could you please in English a little bit? But it’s not just liquid spirits that Poppy has to look out for. For years, the customs staff have believed that the storage area in the basement is haunted. Sometimes you might hear some noise that you cannot explain, or things happen that you cannot explain. It’s just like belief. Legend has it that someone fell into the concrete as it was being poured, leaving an eerie outline of a face in the pillow. He said to me it looks like a lady, but I won’t get it yet. According to Officer Kringsak, the face can be clearly seen. Is it a person? Does it look like a person? Pop, look at the camera. Pop! POPPY LAUGHS Oh! Huh? Poppy’s not sure, but just in case, the staff created a small shrine where they leave gifts. We pay her respect by just giving her a jewelries, and we think that she loves it. And just occasionally, the pillar gives back. The one who asks for the lotto number, he or she won the lotto. Up in departures, Louise could do with some divine intervention. She and daughter Lilia missed their flight home to Paris after a row at the gate. The tourist police can’t help her, so she’s refusing to leave the airport even though she’s not going to be able to make it. Even though it’s driving her nuts. I’m feeling like I’m gonna die. I just want to pass out and disappear. I haven’t slept, I’m so tired. I haven’t eaten, I don’t know what to do. Louise calls her airline and asks for a free flight, but it sounds like they’re not listening. €340 to get on the plane? It’s so much money, I’m a student. I don’t have travel insurance. Please, you gotta help me. Can you please put me on that plane? Please. I’m gonna die here. I think he said that I should try to go and speak with the information desk and that I should have called them earlier and go to the French embassy and that now basically he can’t do anything. I have to talk to those people at 4 o’clock tomorrow. With their pleas apparently falling on deaf ears, Louise and Lilia face another 24 hours at Bangkok airport. We last saw Hannah racing to a Bangkok hospital to have her cast split open But she’s got less than two hours to sort it all out before her flight takes off But the doctors nowhere to be seen and she can’t communicate the urgency of her situation Thinking the clock is ticking and no one’s doing anything There’s the saw right there I could just do it, but I don’t want to slice my leg off Yeah, I just feel really worried that it’s not going to happen. After 40 long minutes, the doctor finally comes. And goes. But only to get Hannah’s X-ray results. Hello, how are you? Good, thank you. So I have to split the cash off. Your flight is 11. 11.15, yeah, really soon. Thank you for doing it quickly. During the procedure, I would like you to relax, OK? And it may cause some noise and some heat inside. Just relax. I Thank you so much, thank you. Thank you. Let’s go go go Medical certificate in hand. Thank you very much. It’s a race back to the air I could walk faster than this. So I need to go to the airport really fast. Go, go, go. I have to be at the airport in the next few minutes. So if we could just go, that would be really good. Come on! I feel like I’m going to throw up. Oh my god, I bet they’re closed. Oh shit, shit, shit. Do you work here? Can I, have I still got time? Wow. Looks like I might be getting on. I’ll believe it when I’m on there. I will. I feel like I’m so close though, I can’t possibly not get on the flight. With only seconds to spare, Hannah makes the gate. It’s her first lucky break of the holiday. In immigration, they’re bracing themselves for rush hour. With airlines from over 60 different countries flying into Bangkok, clear communication is vital. Luckily, Captain A can send people to the back of the queue in several different languages. Pizza on! But she always finds time to answer passengers’ questions patiently. Who’s speaking? Thai. Thai. Yes. Do you speak Mandarin or Chinese? No, that’s for China, Chinese. Working under Captain A today is Captain Sarek. Passport, please. He makes a point of greeting passengers in their own language. I work here for one year, so I just take a look at them. And I know that what is their nationality is. Captain Sarek’s always looking for new passengers to practice on. Sometimes, if I have free time, I just learn their language. Today, he’s mainly been practicing Portuguese. What’s that? What is it? What sort of thing? What sort of thing? It means good luck. With a little help from his homemade phrasebook, he can now greet passengers in Russian… ..and Korean… ..Chinese… and French. French? French. Bonjour. But he knows not to push it too far. I’m busy. I didn’t do this because my boss will. She’s going to kill me. Next in line is 24-year-old Danny from Wolverhampton. He’s left his family and friends to carve out a new life in Thailand. I was crying last night. My mum was crying. My brother was crying. Being on your own, that’s the hard bit, cos you’ve got no-one, you know what I mean? And then you’ve left all your friends and your family and, you know… Danny’s gambled everything on making it big as a DJ. I don’t have loads of DJing experience, but I’ve watched famous DJs on YouTube constantly, and I watch them thinking, I can do that, if I’m better. Take off your cap, please. Take off your cap. I always want my cat. Thank you. Danny’s brought over all his CDs. They’re in his suitcase, but finding that suitcase might not be easy. I’m lost. With more than 20 carousels, baggage reclaims are a bit like Danny’s record collection. Big. Play any music, anything. Drum, bass, techno, house, hard house. That one? Yeah. Tech house, minimal. This is it. I hope. Bassline house, garage, jacking house. There’s not many people. Tech house, deep house. I think this is the right one, I’m not sure. Trance. Side train. Just a way to see. House. Danny finally tracks down the right luggage belt. My whole life’s in here. For the near future, anyway. Outside the airport, he gets even luckier. Not only does the taxi match his suitcase, but the driver speaks fluent English. Welcome, Charlie. Can I ask you a question? Why you want to come to Bangkok? What brought me to Bangkok? I’ve come to try and pursue my DJing career. I’m going to go to a few bars, ask them if I can play. Hopefully, if they say yes, then play tonight. Everybody like to come to Bangkok, to our Lumbi, because the reason why, we are the cool people. Bangkok may be cool and Danny’s hopes are high, but can he really crack the city’s famous nightclub scene? While Dani hits the town, Louise is going nowhere fast. It’s more than 24 hours since she and daughter Lilia missed their flight home to Paris. And she can’t pay, won’t pay for a new ticket. If I have to pay for those tickets or whatever they want, 30,000 baht, if I have to pay for that, like I said, I can’t pay my rent. I can’t sleep. I feel sad and I just want to be in my home, in my bed and take a shower and I can’t and I stay here and it’s just horrible. I just feel so sad. Louise has a four o’clock appointment at the airline desk. She knows this could be her last chance. The chance is good, but you need… I don’t have to pay, right? In that way, I have to contact my boss… Yeah. ..because, actually, you need to pay. Well, that’s what it… been telling me, you know, and the problem is that we did everything right and there is a major breach of protocol. I’m studying law. With no answers and the prospect of more hours to fill, the stress is taking its toll. They keep bouncing me here and there and here and there and here and there, you know. It’s supposed to be a holiday and now it’s just like a nightmare. You know, money talks, bullshit walks. Louise Plots her escape, the tourist police have a new case. And here it is. Duncan and Susan picked it up from the carousel, but it’s not theirs. And all the years we’ve been travelling, we’ve never done this before. Never picked up the wrong carousel. All I can plead in my own defence, forgive me, I’m a lawyer by profession, is that the cases are absolutely identical. I’m hoping we haven’t exposed somebody’s holiday. We probably haven’t improved it. The allies that have become the two. But if they’ve got the wrong suitcase, who’s got theirs? It’s got all my clothes in, absolutely every single thing that I need for my holiday. That’s it, really. I mean, I’ve got what I’m standing up in, that’s all. Lost luggage is one of the great holiday nightmares. Bangkok’s no different to any other busy airport, but it always seems worse when you’re so far away from home. This airport and its layout is different. Also, the fact that the language is completely unfamiliar. All the signs, it just disorientates you a little bit when you see writing in a language that you can’t even read, never mind understand. Duncan and Susan aren’t alone. Joining the lost luggage club today are Geordie’s Gary and Dave. They’ve just touched down four hours late and two bags light. We’ve decided that in Dubai we would stop and have some king crab and caviar and champagne. And I don’t drink, so this is a bad idea. Once you start drinking champagne and you’ve just went on holiday, you just lose all track of time, don’t you? And then before you know where you are, you’re like, oh, let’s go and get the plane, and then you watch it flying away. So I had to get the next flight and they said, oh your baggage will be waiting there for you. And it wasn’t. Typical Brits. Dave’s come to Thailand to study the ancient art of fire juggling. But his missing bag has his fire juggling stick in it and without it… Please, please, please. ..he can’t fire juggle. It’s my first juggling fire staff and it’s probably about that tall. I only paid £80 for it but I’ve just had it. It’s the perfect weight, it was perfect, like, designed for me, you know. So, this is what’s okay. Back at the police station, the staff are pulling out all the stops, but with a connecting flight to catch, time’s running out. Just hoping to get it to us in sufficient time for us to make the connection. We’ve still got an hour at the moment, so it should be all right. The airline has news. There are two bags left at the carousel, and both match Duncan and Susan’s. As for Gary and Dave, they’ve been sent a lost property, but the staff can’t find the staff. Oh, no way. Same as this? Oh, you contact BFS Bell 22. But the language barrier is always there. You start, yes, contact English. Right. So this is actually happening now. Oh, no. Oh, no. So now it’s off to the airline desk. I’m trying to laugh it off but I am actually very upset, unfortunately. Gary and Dave aren’t the only ones feeling the heat. I’m just saying I haven’t actually seen another bag as yet. Where’s my bag? Duncan’s told to wait while Susan goes back airside. The moment of truth is approaching. That’s not it. It’s bigger. Like this. The one that I believe is like this. The back of the same. Things are looking bleak for Dave too. His whole future as a fire juggler is in jeopardy. Blimey. with lots and lots of different symbols on it, which are coloured symbols. Wounded. Absolutely devastated. He plans on going to a school down in Ireland somewhere to teach you how to do it as well, so I think that’s… You know, he will be very upset. I feel like a donkey with a carrot. It’s like, we have your bag, we don’t have your bag. We have your bag, we don’t have your bag. While Gary and Dave continue their search, Duncan and Susan have reached the end of the line. Yes, we have only this one. I think someone’s taken my bike. Can I go back? I don’t know how to go back. I don’t know how to go back. The couple just make their flight, but they leave without Susan’s suitcase. For Gary and Dave, there’s one last throw of the dice. It’ll be in this. Oh yes, that’s it! Is it still in one piece? It certainly is. Oh, fantastic! Nothing’s broken, you know? Yes! Is that a big bend? No? Oh, no! I think a mixture of 50% relieved, 50% happy. Hence. Yeah. More relieved, actually. Thank you. Thanks very much. In downtown Bangkok, Danny’s found the Khao San Road, an old rice market now teeming with cafes and bars. Its base camp for a million backpackers and the perfect place for an aspiring DJ to land his first gig. Danny dreams of making it big on the city’s club scene, but first he needs somewhere to stay. Hmm, this looks a friendly place. Time to give the Thais a masterclass in bartering. Have you got room? For one. Cheapest one, the cheapest one. Cheapest one, 350 baht. You have a room for 150 or not? Oh, no, never. I thought you had one. No. Maybe if you could do one for half price at a good price for us. This one. Yeah. Is it 300 baht you can do them for? 350. 350? One second. If I pay you 350, you can give me an upgrade, a better room with air con for 350. I don’t know. You can’t? Yeah, OK. Well, it was worth a go, and with 50 baht to the pound, he can take the hit. I did try it, and I was like, should I walk off? And then I thought, no, I’ll do like that, I’ll just pay. So I paid £7 a night for this, so I don’t know if that’s expensive. You see? Earphones, a sponge bar, flannel, bias line, jacket, installed my CDs, hopefully I’ll use them after. Slippers. Everything I own now. Yeah. This is it. This is my life now. After a quick shower, Danny starts looking for work. Trying to look for bars or club signs. Everything’s hidden. He sets off with bags of optimism. If I can get like three, one hour or two hour, one hour, then we can go from there, go to another one. Hello, where’s the manager? But slowly reality bites. I’m a DJ from England. Do you have debt? If I ask them, you think they’d let me play or not? Biggie, close. Close. All right, no worries. Thank you anyway. I’m so confident that at least one bar or club will say yeah. So we just keep going. only so many clubs even on Khao San Road and too many DJs. Spoke to one of the staff and basically that’s the line up for tonight. A lot of DJs in there. Awww. As darkness falls, the knockbacks keep coming, so Danny tries a new tactic. No charge, looking like that, just me paying for a little bit. I might have to have a word with a few people. Yeah, OK. It’s a desperate ploy, but will the gamble pay off? Good news, good news. Eventually got somewhere to play and hopefully we put a good night on, show them some proper English, garage music. So all the effort was worthwhile. So Danny’s landed the gig, but will it be his passport to success? Back at the airport, Captain A is limbering up for another shift. But it turns out keeping passengers in line is just one of her passions. Going to the gym, that’s my hobby. When she’s not in work, she’s in the car. She’s working out. The whole body, my arm, my back, my shoulder, my leg, my stomach. But when it comes to keeping order, Captain A never goes into battle empty-handed. The police who work in the police station, They carry the gun, but for immigration, we didn’t carry the gun. We carry our immigration stamp. Yes. That’s our weapon. Like the gun. Captain A may be tough, but she’s by no means the toughest cookie in the immigration department. That title goes to Inspector Why. A battle-hardened immigration officer who likes to play it by the book. You need all your paperwork in order when she’s on duty as Vince is about to discover. I need to know about this one. VINCE FLEW OUT OF GERMANY ON AN EMERGENCY PASSPORT AFTER REALIZING AT THE AIRPORT THAT HIS WAS OUT OF DATE. THE PASSPORT WAS ONLY MEANT TO GET HIM HOME TO FRANCE, BUT NOW HE’S USED IT TO FLY TO THAILAND. THE LADY FROM L’OUV’ TANTAN, HEY, YOUR PASSPORT IS TOO OLD. SHE SAID YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE POLICE AND THE GERMAN POLICE MADE THIS DECLINATION. MADE A DECLINATION FOR YOU, IT MEANT BEING IN TEMPORALI. HOW LONG DO YOU STAY IN TOWN? Because you are French? Yeah, I’m French, yeah. Yes. It says here it is good to leave Germany and back to Germany. Yes, cannot to enter to Thailand. The worst that could happen is that they put me back on the plane. And that would be really shitty. I took the decision to come here on the very last minute. That’s why I didn’t. I didn’t check my passport. I checked like a dozen times if it was right here with me in my pocket. But I never checked the expiration date. This one is like a situation that I don’t like. He cannot enter. Muay sends Vince to the immigration detention centre in the bowels of the building. For most visitors, it’s the first stop before deportation. The decision rests with Captain Sutiporn and his interpreter, Sasikamol. So he said that he allowed you to stay here for one more day, one more night, and then tomorrow you try to contact with the embassy, but the thing is you cannot leave the airport. Of course. Thank you. The last information I have is that they’re probably going to let me stay in the airport one night so I can call the French Embassy tomorrow and try to get some better papers. It’s pretty much like a hotel that you have to stay in the airport since you cannot leave the country. It’s like a hotel because the expenses are high. You have to pay for it. But it has to be on your expense, so it’s just like the hotel. I’m feeling lost in translation. Do you know what’s happening to my luggage? Just one moment. P’Khwan, P’Khwan. Yes, Kwan? What do you want for your student’s bag? I have to clean up the room. I’ll get the LL for you. I’ll keep it in the room. So for now your luggage is in the storage area. And then we wait and see if tomorrow we can leave the airport or not. Okay. Thank you. Vince may have escaped deportation for now, but he faces an uncomfortable stay with no luggage at the transit hotel. I’m not angry or anything, because I know I screwed up, but I’m anxious. I’m tired. While Vince awaits his fate, two other travelers are about to have theirs decided. And… Michael and Jake are trying to make their way back to Liverpool after their holiday in Thailand, but they forgot to read the small print. Our travel agent in the UK never said anything about needing a visa to Thailand at all. to check in in Heathrow or like the girl goes have you got a visa or like what visa so the boys took out a standard 30-day visa exemption when they landed in Bangkok 33 days ago Yeah. So we’ve been over three days already? Three days. We’re three days over. We thought it was two, but she said it’s three, so we’ll take her word for it. For Inspector Mwai, this one’s a routine case. She gets it all the time from Brits abroad. Many passengers from British that I see, it’s not the extension, right? It’s mid-take because they didn’t check about the visa. She’s happy to settle this kind of case with a fine. The only question is how much. At immigration, the boys are stopped and escorted to a back room. They’re about to find out. Yeah, yeah. Three days, I think it’s three. Three days. What’s the price? It’s 1,500 baht. 1,500 baht might sound a lot. In fact, it’s around £30, but even so… You’ve got beer money, that. That’s beer money as well. That’s… Best part of 15 bottles less! Sign there. Mike, we have a problem getting into Thailand in the future. Okay, no problem. Good. We want to come back. We like Thailand. Had a good night out in Bangkok. We would have spent a lot more than £30 in Liverpool getting drunk. Yeah, so it was cheaper in Bangkok. So you thought it was an investment. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. So the boys can leave the country with their reputations intact and just a small dent in their wallet. Looks like Vince is leaving too, but his departure is not quite so happy. After entering Thailand with the wrong papers, he got a late night call at his transit hotel. Call me or most will tell me that they’re putting me back in a flight in the next two hours. So, I’m going to finish packing and get back in a second. Ten hour flight in a row? That’s pretty much it. Poor Vince, a 20 hour round trip and he never even left the airport. Meanwhile Louise and Lilia have been called back to the airline desk to learn their fate. Okay, so we can go on this flight? Yes, we need to go now. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It’s the news Louise was hoping for. The airline will allow them both to check in for free. Better get out of here before they change their mind. Thank you. I can’t believe we’re going away. I’m never coming back to this fucking country ever again in my life. Campbell, sorry, I just want to get fucking drunk on that phone. As Louise and Lilia finally head home, it’s all about to kick off in downtown Bangkok. Daddy’s flagged a guest spot, DJing at a local bar, but as Khao San Road comes alive, he’s feeling like death. I think I’ve got a sickness bug. Diarrhoea, just headaches. I think just basically fatigue, exhaustion. I’ve got no energy, but I’m still going to give it a go. Hopefully the music will get me going. That’s what I’m hoping, anyway. Danny gets his head round the gear. Where’s for the headphones? But just before the big gig, he’s caught short. Are his dreams of stardom about to go down the pan? As the crowd gets restless, Danny returns in time to lay down some badass tunes. It’s not the liveliest bar and not the coolest crowd, but somehow Danny gets them going. It’s been a tough gig but his English house classics have broken down a few barriers and won him some new fans. Vomiting and diarrhea forgotten the gig has left Danny flushed with success. I was still racing a little bit but yeah I think it went well. I was so like, just nervous. When I was pressing the button I was a little bit out of time sometimes but obviously in the future I want to start producing, want to start playing. different places, different bars, different clubs. So, yeah, this is a step in the right direction. So, for a bit of sickness, a bit of a headache, just get over it. He started small, but his career could be about to take off. Tonight of Bangkok Airport all you need is look oh my god. I can give you a kiss right now man Romance blossoms for immigration officers Bert and Nat. He is my boyfriend. I don’t have anybody okay Nathan has a surprise in store for his mum and dad my boyfriend is here, so I’ll be introducing them to him It’s no surprise And will a nip and tuck help Justin land the girl of his dreams? I’m not ashamed or embarrassed. I am single and I hope that one day I will find somebody special. It’s one of the biggest days in the Thai calendar and love is in the air. It’s all about getting down, baby, getting down, baby. It’s not just the passengers who are feeling frisky this Valentine’s Day. the staff too are all loved up. I love my work, I love my job, I love tourists. It’s all about love. Up at check-in, Barry has a not-so-secret admirer. He is very handsome, yeah. His boyish good looks haven’t escaped the eye of his colleague, Bean. So… I like him. He is chubby and he is white. Chubby. I want to hug him. Pinch him. Hi, you again. Over in immigration, Captain Jack has just married the girl of his dreams. My wife and I, we are happy together. Yeah. She loves me more than words that I can say. Jack proposed in dramatic fashion. I go to my girlfriend’s workplace and I pretend that I’m faint. I’m in front of her and she come to help me and after that I propose her, ask her to marry me. Jack knows a successful relationship, like entering a new country, is just a matter of obeying the rules. I kiss her before leaving house, kiss her before sleep and if I stick to the rules, I will have no problem with her. But if it’s romance you’re after, look no further than these are on arrivals. Welcome to Thailand. Working side by side has brought Captain Bert and Officer Nat close. But how close? Oh, that is a difficult question. He is my boyfriend. But don’t tell anybody, OK? We didn’t tell anyone. Yeah, a bit secret. But now it’s not secret. But just cut it off. So now their secret’s out, kind of. How will they celebrate Valentine’s Day? I cannot guess what he’s going to do, and I think he’s not romantic. You know, Valentine’s Day, blah, blah, blah. But it’s OK. I think, yeah, it’s not important. important for me. But Nat’s wrong. Bert’s got something up his sleeve. She is a girl and I think maybe I must do some romantic thing to her on this day. I think I’m going to come back home and my boyfriend, he just say happy Valentine’s Day. Yeah, that’s it. Bert’s going to introduce Nat to someone else who’s very special in his life. My grandmom is coming to the airport tonight. She’s coming from… from San Francisco. I think I will bring her to Nuts culture. We keep it in our secret, but I think she will be surprised. No, I know nothing. He didn’t tell me about anything. That’s in for a big surprise when Granny tips up and they say romance is dead. Not everyone’s feeling the love this Valentine’s Day. Tarl from Cardiff missed his flight when it left on time and left him in the queue. I came here early, I came here like six o’clock, checked in. It was the immigration side. As soon as I got into immigration and the luggage side and check-in, that took like almost 45 minutes the most. You know, they should have waited for me to be fair but they didn’t. You know, the plane was still there. The staff was still there, they just couldn’t put me on. I was just gutted. There’s another flight checking in at six, but Tal’s run out of cash. He’ll have to blag his way onto it. I’m just going to tell them to get me my flight back. I ain’t going to move until they say like. I’m just going to stick to my story and just say, look, come here on time, you guys left, the plane was still here, so… It’s not really my fault. Play the sob story. I wonder if you help me. I mean, desperately need help here. Oh, my God. Surely there’s something you can do, yeah, cos this is not my fault. Is this for real, or…? Wow. Guys don’t want to help me, man. The airline offers him the chance to transfer his ticket, but it’s still going to cost. How much is it going to be? 8,135. Oh, my god. This is what I tried. Yeah, I know. I understand. I appreciate you helping me anyway, so. OK. I’m going to have to struggle to get this money. Oh, man. Not good, man. It’s not good. 8,000 baht she wants? It’s a joke. Flipping heck. What am I going to bloody do? Shit! It’s only around 150 quid, but right now Tal’s not got it. So now I’m going to have to start making some phone calls or something. It’s just fucking hectic. And if he can’t get it in the next four hours, he’ll be going nowhere. It’s a joke. Shit is a joke. Perhaps what Tal needs is a big hug. Hello, free hug? And today, tourist ambassador Son Rui is giving them out for free. Free hug? Happy Valentine’s. Today is the Valentine’s Day. I will try to tell him many things about Thailand. Yes, and give them the gift, a precious gift from Thailand. For me, Valentine’s Day, we would like to say that it’s the big day of love. I would like to say love to everyone and to you also and to others. Who could resist a free hug from Sohn Rui on Valentine’s Day? Hello, man. Happy Valentine’s. Hello! Happy Valentine’s! Ma’am? Hello! Hello! Yeah! Free hugs! Why? There seems to be more shrugs than hugs from passing passengers until Wow! Yeah, we’re on honeymoon. You are on honeymoon? Yeah! Hello, man, happy Valentine’s. It takes a pair of newlyweds to finally share the love with Son Rui. This one for you. Oh. Okay, take a photo together. More than 80,000 passengers pass through Bangkok Airport every day and not all of them can get a hug. That would be impossible. My name is Justin Hoffman. Yeah, I’m here for the whole cosmetic surgery experience. Justin’s hoping a nip and tuck will bring him luck with the ladies. Pook helped arrange his trip. Yeah, they come to Thailand a lot. You can come for holiday and also here is cheaper and also the doctor is good here. When I go out on a date, I’m just not happy with the way that I look. I’ve got an opportunity here to do something about it and I say, why not go for it? It’s not strange for man to do facelift because… Everybody can do facelift. Just only make you good looking, man or woman. Only if you do implant is this strain. Having done some research, this was the place to come to. And I could have done it in Australia, but I wouldn’t have gotten as much bang for my buck. There we go! Hello! Justin. Hello Justin, my name is Phuc. So happy to see you. Thank you very much, excellent. Now we walk to the… Fantastic, alright, great, fantastic. Let’s go. Ready to go? I’m so glad you guys are here because I’m way out of my depth right now. You nervous? Don’t tell me that. Well, no, I’m not nervous. It’s just all so new for me. No, no, I mean you’re not nervous about the church, I think you’re nervous about Thailand. Because I have so many things in here, especially women. A staggering two and a half million people come to Thailand every year for surgery. Justin’s holiday with a facelift has cost him around £5,000. And for that, Poop throws in a little light flirting. Are you married? No, no. Really? Oh, my God. You are a single guy and come first time. The title is really interesting on you. Well, we’ll see. We’ll see. Oh, I can’t guarantee. I don’t know. I’m going to be all bruised up and… I can’t guarantee 100%. If you walk on the street, they will see, oh, handsome guy, come here. I don’t know. They will be threatening you a lot. Yeah. Maybe when I’m healed up and I’m after the surgery, maybe we’ll see how it goes. But I will warning you one thing. Yeah. Have so many girls, a lot. Yeah. You have to take a look first, not only take one. If you take one… That means you cannot change anyone. Right. You’re stuck in the first one. Yeah. Because they will not let you go. I guess you’re never too old to learn new lessons in love. You too old? How old are you? No, I’m 38. 38? Yeah, I’m nearly. You’re more old than me, only one year. Really? Yeah. But you look so young. Justin’s obviously a bit of a smoothie. And after tomorrow, he’ll be even smoother. Even though I’m here right now, I still, it’s still unreal to me. Yeah, I guess as it is getting very close, there is that tickle of nervousness to me, but I’ve just got to take the bull by the horn, so to speak, and just go for it. Back at the airport, there’s still no love for Tal. Aye, aye, aye. He needs money to transfer his ticket and he’s getting desperate. I need to jack someone. That’s what I need to do. Jack someone right now, take their money off them and then cash my flight home. Borrow a motorbike and just go and rob someone now. It’s the only option I got. No-one else is going to help me. I don’t know what to do. I need to try and get the next flight back. Do you want a shant? A ticket? Do you want a shant ticket? Right. Tal decides to share his troubles with the tourist police. I need help. I need… I don’t know what to do. Newly engaged couple Pete and Bex… can’t help ear-wigging. Basically, I’m just doomed right now. I just don’t know what to do, like. I come here at, like, 6 o’clock, and because of the immigration, it just took too long just to get through. By the time I got past the immigration, the flight was still there, but they wouldn’t let me in. I was ten minutes late. What are they saying about the next flight? They’re saying the next flight is 8 o’clock tonight. They’re going to have to cost me, like, 8,000 baht. So I’ve got no money on me, so I’m trying to, like, contact someone. Hopefully we can sort it out. Pete and Bex are sympathetic up to a point. I feel for him because his plans have been messed up, but that’s why you should always have… You can leave long enough. Yeah, but always have emergency money. You should always have credit cards, some way of accessing money if things like that happen. Tal’s only hope is to find a friend back home who’ll send him the money. Tourist police officer Baitong helps him get online. I have to take care of some of the tourists who have the problem, like that guy, but I have to help him. But it’s six in the morning in Wales, not the best time to ask for a loan. I’m trying to contact my brother. He’s just not picking up. It’s his signal. The signal’s weak. This is the message I’m getting from my mates. You’re full of shit. I just can’t believe they don’t want to help me. How come they don’t want to help me? I say, I need 150 quid. My mates are like, I need a ten pack. I don’t know what to do. I’m in a situation here now. What’s this, a witness thing going on? Is it or what? What’s going on here? No, no-one wants to know. No-one wants… No-one wants to help. This is the problem. At last, one of his friends offers to help. There you go, one of my mates might be coming through. Mate, can I use your battery? My battery’s running out. If you can do that, I appreciate that, seriously, cos I am in a situation here and I just really don’t know what to do. Got one hour now to get on a flight. Just all depends how quick he can send this money now. Have to go and check the bank now, man, hope for the best. Ding, ding, second round. So Tal heads for the cash machines, but if the money’s not gone in, he won’t be getting out. Over in immigration, Bert is planning a Valentine’s Day surprise for his girlfriend Nat. I took someone to meet her tonight, but I didn’t say who. In Thai culture, family is everything, and Bert’s keen that Nat gets approval from his favourite relative. OK, I’m going to pick my grandmum up. I think I will surprise Nat, because I will take my grandmum to Nat’s counter and Nat will do immigration to her passport, and I introduce my grandmum to Nat. Bert’s not seen his granny for ages. I miss her so much. Long time no see with her. My grandmum is 85 years old. I think she hasn’t seen me in this uniform before. It is the first time of her to see me in immigration suit, just like this. And there’s another surprise coming up. As they approach immigration, Bird casually drops Nat into the conversation. So the big moment arrives. As Nat inspects Bert’s granny’s passport, Bert’s granny inspects Nat. So, does Nat get the stamp of approval? The only one word that she says. Beautiful. The True Romantic airports can be exciting places full of tearful goodbyes and joyful reunions. At her desk in arrivals is information officer, Gibidoo. How may I help you? She has a front row seat. What I love most, if we sit in the arrival hall, you will see people crying when they meet each other. And they hug each other, they kiss and they cry. And I love it. This full of happiness, yes, and maybe because I live alone, that’s why I need this feeling so much, somewhere that we belong and we feel good, we feel loved, we feel warm, yeah, I need to be there. But airports can be lonely places too, full of disappointment, even betrayal. Over at Tourist Police HQ, a Swiss passenger is looking for assistance after he was stood up. Lending a sympathetic ear is Officer Ake. Do you have flight today? Flight? Do you have flight today? Flight? Flight. Hey. Hello. Yeah? Yeah. Sorry. After a six-month internet romance, her puppy-cuffer flew in from Switzerland to meet his Thai sweetheart. She’s supposed to be here, right? She’s supposed to be here. But today, she’s nowhere to be seen, and now he’s lost his phone he can’t even call. He told me that she’s supposed to be here to pick him, to go to the hotel, but she’s not. She’s rough. She disappeared. Ake tries getting hold of the woman on the number he’s been given, but it’s all too much for her puppy coffee. Calm down, calm down. Take a deep breath. Calm down, take it easy. Don’t cry, don’t cry. Huh? He’s crying, I don’t know what’s wrong with him. It’s his first love, I think. He’s crying. God. Do you have an email? An email comes through from the lady explaining why she’s not showing up. Ladies, sorry. She sends another number so the officers give that a try. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. I just got a text from the police. They are at the Suvarnabhumi airport. And they are crying. Sir? Can I have a break? She call back now. Unfortunately for her, public offer, his girlfriend doesn’t seem that keen to see him. Seems she’s had second thoughts about their relationship. And it turns out the lady is married with children. After a brief conversation, the woman promises to meet him in a Bangkok hotel tomorrow. But has she told him everything, should the police step in? But in an affair of the heart, even the tourist police are powerless to act. We try to help him, but it’s like a sensitive story. We try to help him, but… I do that. We do that, we can do. That’s all we can do. Still, it makes a change from the usual lost property, in a way. It feels like he lost something. It’s like a valuable property. It’s like a credit card or money, no? He just lost a girl, lost someone. It’s all about love. Over in arrivals, Nathan from Merseyside’s come for a family reunion. On a scale of 1 to 10, how nervous am I? About 10. Nathan’s hardly seen his parents, Pat and Ken, since he moved to Bangkok four years ago. It’s an amazing airport, isn’t it? It’s huge, isn’t it? Yeah. So when he didn’t come back for Christmas, they kind of invited themselves. It came on a chance remark on FaceTime on New Year’s Day and I said, are you coming home at Easter? He said, oh, I don’t know. And I thought, we could come there. And so that’s why we’re coming. They don’t really know my life here, so they don’t really know that much about me, except for what I tell them on the phone, which isn’t a lot, really. Now they’re here, Pat’s determined to make the most of it. Look here, water. Are you going to go whitewater rafting? Uh-oh. And climbing? That’s the sort of person that says, let’s go elephant riding and whitewater rafting and other things like that. It goes on and on, this earth. It’s quite concretey, isn’t it, though? They are quite concretey. Sounds like Ken’s more of the stay-at-home type. I’m not really into travelling. I am a home bird. When you live on the whirled, you don’t need to go anywhere else, really. It’s been a while, but Nathan seems to know what to expect. They can’t stop talking, so they’ll have met people on the plane. They’ll be having a conversation. Lots of people say to you, oh, you’re so fortunate. Where are you going? Thailand? Oh, I’d love to go to Thailand. I imagine they won’t be here on time. They’ll be quite slow. So it was… Has it got you the E number there? What were we on? They probably won’t know what the bags look like either. I’m sure. That one sneaked past me. You’re just trying to make me look silly. There’s another very good reason for Nathan’s first night. nerves. Pat and Ken have never met before. His new fella, Ark. My boyfriend is here, so I’ll be introducing them to him. We’ve been together for about a year. And he’s a lovely guy. He’s Thai, and he speaks good Thai, which is good for them, because he’ll be able to order properly in a restaurant, which I can’t do that well. My Thai is OK, but it’s not great. I’ve never seen it before, so it’ll be interesting to see their reaction. Can you see him? I can see him straight ahead over there. Hello! How are you? Good. It’s lovely to see you. See you, mate. Hello. Great to see you. Take your mums. Oh, gay pride. Well done. So it’s back to Nathan’s to freshen up for dinner and the big meeting with Ark. Are you in? Hello, how do you do? Thank you. Justin’s arrived at a Bangkok hospital for his facelift. I’m looking forward to getting in there and, yeah, and see what happens next, really. He’s facing the surgeon’s knife today and he knows nothing is going to be the same again. Yeah, it’s a strange thought. The image that you look at in the mirror is not the one I’m going to wake up with, you know, so that has definitely crossed my mind this morning, for sure, so, yeah. It’s exciting. Pook’s come along to help take Justin’s mind off things and she’s soon back on her favourite subject, love and romance. Last night, my husband, he said, ”Oh, he will fall in love for sure.” HE LAUGHS Because Thai women take care good and are lovely. Then you start feeling warm and have some feeling with the one who takes care of you. Yeah. Cos they’re all lovely. Yeah. Yeah. In Thailand, it’s a very romantic country, isn’t it? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Thai women are soft and take care of you all. Oh, and I need taken care of. Thank you very much. Mercifully, the nurse arrives to whisk Justin in for his consultation. Follow her. Follow her? Yeah. All right. The op will be carried out by one of Thailand’s leading cosmetic surgeons, Dr. Titi. Hi, I’m Dr. Titi. So I’m here to tackle the problem of these deep laugh lines that are around my eyes and my cheeks. You know, what I would like is so that when I do smile, it’s very smooth and taut, and just to really have that appearance reduced, you know? So about the scar, we start from your hairline around here, and then go get along in front of your ears, and back down behind your ears around here. The main thing is we pull it upward and backward. So your sideburns will be high up a little bit. From here up to here. So you might have to change your hairstyle a little bit. Pre-operation nerves are definitely beginning to hit a little bit. I don’t know if that’s because I’ve barely eaten anything and I haven’t had a coffee yet, but the risks, while small, are there. Consultation over, it’s time to get ready. Well, this makes it very real now. It makes it very real, so… Nice comfortable gown. Oh, the slippers, yes. Oh, lovely. Very comfortable. He’s comfortable for now, but it won’t be long before Justin’s wheeled into theatre to face the scalpel. Back at the airport, love’s still in the air, and in his immigration booth, newlywed Captain Jack’s still happy. He knows he’s made the perfect match. I am the one who cook. She doesn’t cook and I don’t do laundry thing. So she does laundry, laundry, laundry. I don’t do it. I cannot iron. I found the perfect one for me. We are super in common. when you found someone in really in common you will let them go no you will get married across the airport soon rui is still giving out free hooks and now her colleague nok young has joined in with heart-shaped stickers I give everyone today, only today. Happy Valentine’s Day, happy Valentine’s Day. For the couples, it’s so special. Many, many couples come to Thailand. And Nok Young’s had a surprise present of her own from an airport admirer. Oh, this morning. This is a flower and flower rusher. I cannot eat because fat. I keep… I keep in my room. So is this the start of a new romance? Surprise. Not Young’s playing it cool. Not sure now, not sure. Maybe in the future. But not everyone’s got that loving feeling. After missing his flight, Tal spent nearly 12 hours trying to get a new ticket. Sorry, love. A friend sent him the cash… Sorry, sorry, sorry. ..but will it hit his bank in time? I’m going to find my card now. My mate just sent me money then, so hopefully if it goes through now, happy days, I’m home. No, my luck’s probably not in there. Oh, man, fingers crossed now. English…ballads. Current. Oh, it’s not going through. Yeah, I’m not going to make it. It’s just not going to happen, is it? It’s half five now. Six o’clock, she said. But when you’ve got nothing, you’ve got nothing to lose. Tal gives it one last go at the airline desk. My friend put the money in. So hopefully it’s gone through. Oh my God, so stressed. Then a Valentine’s Day miracle. It’s gone, yeah? Oh, my God, my heart is beating. Oh, my God! Somewhere between cashpoint and desk, his mate’s money’s gone in. OK, this is going to Abu Dhabi and then going to London? Oh, my God, I can give you a kiss right now, man. You know. Check in now, yeah? Thank you. I can smell freedom right here. After all that stress I went through then. Made it, man. Look at now. Just can’t believe it, like. I picked up to my mate Kane. Kane McKenzie. They’re sending me some money. You know I’m not paying you back, bro. You know that, innit? But having been here a whole day, he’s now late for his flight again. Bloody hell, it’s like déjà vu coming here, you know. Where’s D6? Where’s D6? D6? D6. Cool. There’s such a stress on that, like, it’s madness. Yeah, he’s open. Tal just makes it to the gate on time. It’s taken the whole of Valentine’s Day, but he’s learnt an important lesson. One tip, check in on time. While Tal jets off, Nathan’s brought his parents to a Bangkok Riverside restaurant. So that’s a dinner cruise, I think. He’s going to introduce Pat and Ken to his new boyfriend, Ark. Here’s Ark. Hello. Hello. Hi. Good to meet you, Ark. Hi. Good to meet you. Mum, Dad. Hi! Nice to meet you. Lovely to meet you. Nice to meet you too. Check us out. Don’t you think he looks like Will.i.am a little bit? he’s nicer looking than Will.i.am. He looks much nicer than Will.i.am. When he smiles, he’s a little bit like that smile. Thank you very much. First impressions seem pretty good, and Pat seems to be taking a bit of a shine to Ark. You’ve got lovely dark hair, haven’t you? Can you do Liverpool accents? Say shitting. I like it though, I really like Liverpool accent. I think it’s very, you know, like American, they have their southern accent, right? Something about it is very homely. Yes. Liverpool people are very friendly, we’re very friendly. So, have things gone as well as everyone hoped? It’s always difficult to introduce your boyfriend to your parents, but the parents are getting on really well with ARC and ARC doesn’t seem… Uncomfortable to meet the family, so yeah, they’re connecting really well, having a good conversation, having a good laugh. Yeah, so, surprisingly well. I was a little bit nervous in the beginning, meeting the parents. I meet them as a partner, you know what I mean? So I was a little bit, you know, they’re gonna accept it, but I saw what Nathan inherited in himself, like he got a sense of humour from his dad, you know, and something that he told me. He got it from his mom, you know, things like that. It’s nice, lovely, yeah. Art was really friendly and very open about his family and what he’d done in his life. We had a nice chat. It was good, yeah. Yeah, he’s a good lad, isn’t he? Really easygoing, yeah. Most of Nathan’s boyfriends have been easygoing, haven’t they? Nathan’s first boyfriend was a rugby player, wasn’t he? He had blonde hair, so there’s a variety. He hasn’t got a standard stereotype. It’s a new day at Bangkok Airport, but love’s still in the air. Oh, my goodness! Joy’s come to meet her boyfriend Salim off the plane from Lagos after three months apart. I miss him so much. I’m so excited to see him. It’s been so long. Her sister Jewel has been trying to keep Joy’s spirits up. I’m sure she would probably prefer to be with him, but we kept her company. Yeah, yeah. I’ll probably cry. Just being honest, I’ll probably cry. I’ll be really, like, happy, like, overwhelmed. Yeah. First it was tears of him leaving, now it’s tears of joy. Yeah. But three months is a long time. long time, Joy seems worried Selim might be carrying some excess baggage. I’m nervous to how he’ll look. Like he said, he’s been eating a lot, so I’m kind of nervous if he’ll be like that. Holy cow. Oh my god, I’m so fine. Salim’s flown in with his sister, but after the briefest of hugs, they’re off again. He forgot his phone somewhere, so he has to go get his bags and get them. You work here? No, I study here. The tourist police office isn’t the most romantic place for lovers to linger. He looks different a little. He’s a little chubbier. Yeah, I look a little bit like me. He’s chubbier. I’m sure he got a lot of different variety of home cooked meals. I mean before he had more muscle. Now it’s more just food. As Salim goes in search of his phone, he knows the big reunion’s in danger of falling flat. Today’s supposed to be a happy day for me, but this just ruined my mood. I should be with my girlfriend right now, but I’m here. I thought we were just going to get them and go, go eat probably, but it was different. By the time Salim returns, without his phone, Joy and Jewel have to go to class. But they’ll meet for dinner later. Salim can have the salad. I’ll see you again, maybe. Maybe. Maybe. I’ll see you again. Maybe. Maybe. Sounds like Salim could be in danger of losing more than his phone. Over in baggage reclaim, it’s been a special day for Tantida. She took time off her busy duties to do some light stalking. Around about 15. I met my furry singer. I follow him. Hello. How many have you had? 12. 12? Thanks. To the end. Hello, welcome back. I think he’s nice. I just like him. Many photos with his fans. Tantida’s heartthrob is Warawake Danawong, one of Asia’s biggest pop stars, and he’s just made her day. This morning is my best morning. Only love can do that. And it comes in all shapes and sizes. When Ray was posted to Thailand for work, he couldn’t be parted from his best friends, Bruski and Hui. So I came to Thailand to see my friends. I’m very happy to be here. I came from Atlanta, Georgia yesterday, about 24 hours ago. I’m staying over here for one year and couldn’t live without my dogs over here with me. Ray’s a man who’s devoted to his pets. The airline I flew is fantastic for animal care. care. They fly better than I have economy class before so they have plenty of toys in there which they haven’t chewed too much. This is the house I’m renting in Bangkok and this is where the dogs will swim, play and terrorize the yard. Pets just like humans need the right paperwork including a certificate of Health and an import permit on arrival. To get them into a country, you’ve got to make sure they’re healthy. A lot of veterinarian certifications in your home country. A lot of paperwork, a lot of payments. Paperwork completed, there’s one more hurdle to jump. A spot check from the airport’s own veterinary service to make sure Bruski and Hui are fit to enter Thailand. With the dogs up to Thai standards, it’s time for Bruski and Hui to meet their chauffeur and get a warm welcome to Bangkok. Hello, my friend. You need to teach them Thai. Sawadee krab. Say, sawadee krab. Sawadee krab. Sawadee krab. And like everyone after a long flight, you can’t beat that first stretch of the legs. Oh. All four of them. Ready to go see your sister? Welcome to Bangkok, my friend! They’ll keep me a lot busier, but I should be able to settle down. It’ll feel more like a home versus a place to live. So Bruski and Hui head off to begin their adventure, and they’re not the only ones on the verge of a life-changing experience. This is it. This is it. This is the last couple of minutes, if you will, looking like this. Justin’s hoping his facelift will bring him more luck with the ladies. Now it’s like crunch time. Simple swim time. Oh! Operating room. Says it all. But… Ladies. Oh, ladies. I get this chair now, right? Yes. He’s come to Thailand to lose his laughter lines, and it’s working already. I’m a little afraid to look down and see what’s plugging my arms and things, but… Yeah, and just the fact I’m in a different country actually too, you know, I’m not I’m far from home It’s definitely crossing my mind right now. I’m sure these people know what they’re doing Like a master tailor dr. Titi wields his scalpel Redraping Justin’s skin into a more youthful position. He might have scar because the surgery is surgery We cut too much. It’s custom The item will come out like this. Our job is to place the scar in the concealed area. Yes, it’s finished. Now just cleansing and pressure dressing and everything is okay. I think it’s really smooth, so he should be fine. I think it’s very successful for this operation. Justin will have to wait a while before the bandages come off, and then he can enjoy Dr Titti’s handiwork. Back at Bangkok airport, Valentine’s Day is well and truly over. Travis is stuck in immigration, battling to keep his family together. We were dreaming that we’d sort of like get through and go get a coffee and have a cigarette, get in a taxi. Ah, not going to happen yet, eh? Ex-soldier Travis and girlfriend Jeep have flown in to visit her parents before starting their new life together in Australia Yeah. with daughter Rinrada. They were hoping for a smooth ride through, but they’d been detained by Captain Burt. In this case, the woman and the man have a family and they want to go to Thailand, but the man has something that is illegal in Thailand. Last time that he came here, so he’s in the back lift here. So we try to figure it out. I was deported from Thailand last year, about four months ago. I had an argument with the Australian Embassy and then the Australian Federal Police issued an arrest warrant in Thailand to bring me back to Australia. So now that’s in my passport, so they’re just pulling me aside and I think they’re just going to ask me what went on. It might not be as easy as Travis thinks. The case will be handled by Bert’s no-nonsense boss, Inspector Mwai. Hello. Because Travis is on the immigration watch list, Moai must make a decision. Can he stay or should he go? The backlist name cannot enter into my country. So we have to make a decision to allow to my country or not later. If Travis doesn’t get in, he could end up in the immigration detention centre, not the most romantic spot in the city. Immigration detention centre here in Bangkok. There’s, you know, a few hundred people in a cell, people taking turns to stand up. People are crazy and dying in there and all sorts of… It’s really, really bad. The last time Travis was deported, he missed a precious six months of his daughter’s life. She’s only one, so that’s almost half her life I’ve already missed already. Inspector Muai shows little sign of leniency. The case of blacklist, I not think too much because it’s no good guy, right? Sorry to stay with him. Jeep returns and it’s bad news for Travis. Happy to be here. So they say I can’t leave the airport. But I have to stay in Japan. Please contact the airport. His family can stay, but he’s not going to be allowed in. Australian Federal Police breaking up families again. Fuckers. Sorry about that. Travis has led a way down to the basement, leaving Jeep and Rinrada to travel on alone. So they’ve told my girlfriend and my daughter they have to leave. That’s what I’m more worried about is Jeep. She’s still got to go north. We’ve still got to take her back to her parents. About seven hours away up north. And then do it all by itself. It’ll be harder, it’ll be harder. And I’ve got to get a ticket out of the country ASAP. I really don’t know what’s going on. I have to go back to Australia tonight. Apparently 12 o’clock I’ve got to fly back. Travis has a tough battle ahead if he’s to persuade the authorities to allow him back in to see his family. Ever since his facelift surgery, Justin’s been keeping a low profile, while still taking in the sights. OK, let’s go. And today’s the day the bandage has finally come off. Ooh. Oh, boy. Oh boy! I just cannot believe the difference. Oh those stitches. I look like Frankenstein. Oh the feeling in my stomach is just incredible. I have a jaw and neckline now I have now. My profile is so much better and when I go to smile Those laugh lines no longer take over my face. It’ll take a while before the swelling subsides, but the facelift’s already lifted Justin’s spirits and he’s lost his heart to Thailand. I understand why people come here now. People are very welcoming of tourists, very kind. It makes it hard to go home. Wow! While Justin goes sightseeing, Pat and Ken are spending their final hours in Bangkok looking back on their holiday. It’s upside down. You said to me you’d hold it the other way round. They squeezed in a few days on the island of Phuket and Ken even had a go on the elephants. It wasn’t as scary as I thought it might be on the back of the elephant, was it? No, it wasn’t scary. Cos they let you climb on a high platform to get on it cos you always think maybe you’d have to climb onto it but you just get onto it sort of straight across, don’t you think? But it’s been about spending quality time with their son Nathan and his new boyfriend, Ark. Having seen him in his environment, you feel he’s in a good place. He obviously feels settled where he is and that’s as good as it gets really, isn’t it? He seems to know where he’s going to and what he wants. When Nathan first came out, it wasn’t easy for his mum and dad. It came as a bit of a shock to us. He just said, I’ve got something to tell you, and he said I’m gay. The immediate thing is, poor old Nathan, he must have gone through all sorts before he came to tell us, because we’re Christians, and you do get the stereotypical Christian view, the standard view. You know, and so Nathan telling us that made us stop and think a lot more about the subject. Can you do it? You’re supposed to empty the water as well. Yeah, it was interesting, he said he was glad of his upbringing, that it was quite a normal upbringing-ish, you know, that we did. That was a surprise. Yes, that was a surprise. Well, there’s your compliment. Because sometimes you think you bring your children up too strictly or you make them go to church, which we did all go to church as a family. So to hear him turn around and say, I am quite glad I had that upbringing, that was quite nice to hear, actually. Probably worth coming to Bangkok to hear it. As they arrive at the airport, Pat’s not sure who will miss her more, son Nathan or her new best friend, Ark. Gave Ark a hug this morning and he was really sad he filled up so it was nice. Well, filled up, his eyes filled up. It was nice. It’s called relief. No, it’s not. He’s going to miss me. He’s going to miss me. If you’re not going to miss me, Ark is going to miss me. When they first met Ark I was a bit worried but then straight away they clicked and Mum fancied him, I think. Which is always good. And he’s good looking and cute. And he’s good looking. Also heading home today is the new look Justin. Pook’s come to see him off at the airport, though he’d much rather be staying here. You stay in Bangkok two weeks, how you feel? Oh, like a new man, Pook, like a new man, you know. I feel refreshed, relaxed, re-energised, rejuvenated. but it seems like his new look’s working already. because Justin’s found love and life is sweet. When I came here, you told me, you said, you fall in love with a Thai girl and everything. And then true or not? Well… Huh? Yeah? Maybe, yeah, maybe. Oh, not me, me, me, me. I know it. And I thought you were joking, I thought you were joking. I’m not joking. I know. I know it. I, I… I wasn’t I think I didn’t laugh at your joke, but now I That’s what say it’s not joke is true. Yeah She’s a very nice girl. I know Not everyone finds love in Thailand not Travis who’s separated from his family Not hair puppy coffee on his way back to Switzerland after his ill-starred internet romance. That’s Finnish lady. But the only worry for Justin is how to get through passport control. This is the first test of whether or not my new face matches my passport, and I’m sure Thai passport control will put it to the test. Come on, mate, you’ve not changed that much. So have a safe journey. Oh, thanks, thank you. Thank you for coming. Thank you for having us and looking after us. No problem. OK, see you soon. See you, mate. Thanks for looking after us. Nathan’s saying a last goodbye to his mum and dad. Yeah, a little bit emotional to see them go. But it’s been nice, it’s been a fun time, so… I think they’re happy to see me with a guy that I love. Yeah, they’re just happy to see me happy. So it’s sawadee to the world’s most loved-up airport. Happy Valentine’s! Happy with that? Happy with that? And remember, always arrive early for your flight, take good care of your parents and be careful when dating on the internet. Every year, millions of visitors pour into Bangkok Airport. But what happens when you can’t pour out? I’ve lost my British passport. I need cash. Today, a panic attack grounds Sarah in departures. I need to go today. I need to go today. Army Vet John is down to his last 20p. I’m thinking about just doing some fixed-duty here and getting in jail. An atoll from India is detained by the tourist police. I’ve been through such extreme behaviours, the battlefield being the airport. Thailand may be a dream holiday destination. I think you’ve got to experience it, to be honest. But where do you turn when there’s no way out? They call Bangkok the airport of smiles and Darren from Chingford can’t wait to see the back of it. As you can see it’s a beautiful, lovely, lovely airport. But unfortunately I lost my British passport, so I’m strapped. I want to go home. He may have lost his most precious possession, but Darren’s not panicking. He’s planning to pick up an emergency passport from the British Embassy first thing tomorrow. So, to the British Embassy, I’ll see you in the morning. Please. Get my visa, emergency passport ready, because Darren Bond needs to go home. Darren’s missus is already on her way back to London, and he’s hoping… You know, I’m going to have to go, I’m going to show you to cut you short, but I really need to drive some emergency funds because I’m tired. Thank you for your time, and happy new year, and we love England, mate, we’re coming home. But inside the terminal, things take a turn for the worse, and emergency passport costs money. And the cash machine doesn’t want to know. Luckily, there’s another cash machine next door, but that doesn’t want to know either. I need £95 for the British Embassy to issue my emergency passport tomorrow. So I’m a bit… I’ll try to stay calm and find a solution. Obviously, I’ve never been to Bangkok before in my life, and, yeah… I’m very tired, I haven’t slept. I’m going to call the bank directly now and basically tell them the situation. But calling a Mumbai call centre from a Bangkok payphone is famously hard. Advisor, please. Advisor, advisor, advisor, please. I’ve lost my British passport. I’m stuck in Bangkok. My missus is flying now to leave for… I need… Cash, my friend, my friend, your colleague, your colleague has confirmed it to me. Your colleague said after three minutes it will be released. I don’t know what you’re playing at, mate. Can’t we drop Cash out, mate? It’s been 20 minutes, mate. Please. Are you trying to depress me, mate, or what? Do me a favour and can you release my money, please? I’m getting annoyed now. Is that fine? Hello? An hour ago Darren had no passport. Now he’s got no passport and no way of getting one. Home is starting to look a long way away, but he’s still not panicking. I know they’re doing their job, I’m not putting the bank down, but they have, because of the extra stringent security, it has put me in a bad situation, so I’m thinking, what am I going to do now? Then again, there are worse places to be stranded. What I’m going to say, that this airport… He’s one of the best airports I’ve seen. Karen’s not the only one having trouble leaving Bangkok airport. I’m really not too sure. The terminal’s full of confused looking tourists who are looking for a way out. Still have no idea where I’m going. Stressful. Yeah, stressful and mental, absolutely crazy. I think we’re lost again. Yeah, well… I mean, we just got to the airport and we’re lost already. This is how good we are. Luckily help is always at hand because Bangkok Airport has its own dedicated police force. A 90 strong team who specialise in helping travellers in trouble. Whatever your problem, chances are they’re across it. Among the elite corps are Officers Toy and Baitong. They’re your first call when anything goes wrong. Day and night, Baitong and the team tour the airport, looking for confused people to help. The news brits a speciality. they saw the uniform of the police police and they think in their opinion, they think the police can help them everything. But it’s all worthwhile when a grateful traveler leaves a message in the police friendship book. Thank you very much, Christy, for this moment I just met. Yeah. And in their battle to keep the airport in order, the tourist police have a secret weapon. Turn like, move like this Break But policing the airport is a serious business. Baitong’s been called back to base to help toy deal with a British passenger in distress. I’m shaking, I’ve got no sugar in me. I’ve got no food. I feel like I’m about to collapse. John’s a former squaddie who’s spent the last two years travelling, but after a run of bad luck, the road’s ended here. His passport, plane ticket and money all stolen. Basically, I’m stuck in Thailand. My visa’s ran out and I’ve got no money. I’ve been stolen. No food. No water. I’ve got 10 baht in my pocket. I’m thinking about just… ..doing something stupid and getting in jail, where I can be fed and lived after. John’s desperate to get back to Britain and he’s struggling to keep it together. I’ve took over 100mg of diazepam in the last hour just to try and… Come, Kimmy, come. We’re to help and the time to help. Take it easy. We try to help and try to get some help from the embassy. Also try to contact the airline for you. But you have to be go first, OK? OK. Home help can go away if you… Take it easy. We have to talk with embassy. The last choice. So maybe the embassy will contact his family or someone who can help. Well, you could help me by getting me back to England. I don’t know what to do. Tell them I’m waiting for them, you know, yeah? I’ll speak to one of your tourist officers. The embassy say they’ll try to help John, but he’ll need to show up in person. They told me you have to take a taxi to go there, but the taxi you have to pay by yourself. Oh. Of course. What with ten baht? Ten baht. Oh. I’ll rob you soon, start a book, or go to jail. The problem is he don’t have money to pay. He said he have only ten baht. With Jong down to his last 20p, Toy and Baitong decide to help him out of their own pockets. Give you some money. Hi. I have money, we will give you. How much money? I’m not sure how much, but I will give you 300 baht for transportation to the person. John’s beginning to feel there’s no way out. I was all lost and happy yesterday. Ready for my trip back to the UK. See the friends and family. Tissues in the back. Getting the water quick. At the embassy, John’s given some money for the night and an appointment for tomorrow, but his future’s still up in the air. Who knows? Maybe I’ll have to live on the streets of Bangkok. And, er… I’ve got a cushion in my bag and a pillow, so… Just… Beyond the streets of Bangkok For the next three years, John I’ve found some of the homeless gangs If getting out of Bangkok can be tough, getting in isn’t a doddle either. Immigration is your first barrier and it can be a tense time for new arrivals. You know you’ve not done anything wrong but just haven’t seen all the guards, you’re like… Oh, that’s… They told me to shave because they prefer if you come in their country shaven. I’m kind of worried about my passport number, it’s not the same as the old one. I don’t want to be banged up here. Sorry, I’m in a bit of a tizz. I thought I had it all. The golden rule is to have all your paperwork ready. Have I not given… It’s not that one, is it? Bangkok’s one of the top long-haul destinations for young British backpackers. Hang on, I’ve got… Sorry, I do have it here. Lara’s jacked in her job to spend a year travelling. Got a doll, please? Somewhere… But even backpackers need an address for their first night. I don’t know if it’s on Kosan Road. Thank you. I was a bit scared then. For a minute there. But now I’m through passport control, I feel excited again. Yay! My bag made it! Bangkok can be overwhelming, but Laura’s done her research. The flight was quite long, but I just watched films, one of which was The Beach, because I thought it would prep me for coming to Thailand, and I’m really glad I watched it. Can’t wait to see Bangkok tonight. Lara’s going to meet her friend Becca at the airport, but where is she? No sign of Becca. Uh-oh. She should be here by now. She should be, shouldn’t she? Oh. Hang on, I got a text. OK. She can’t get through immigration without the hostel details. Becca’s here! Can’t wait to see her! So excited! Woo-hoo! Eventually they’re reunited. You’re here! The people at immigration seem really nice actually. When I said I didn’t have my hotel details, she just went, oh no, so I’m guessing it happens quite a lot. This is it, this is where it all actually starts. I only feel the heat. Lara and Becca have one night in Bangkok just time to taste the nightlife before coming back to the airport to catch the early morning Flight to Phuket. Well, that’s the theory We’re gonna spend one night in Bangkok And then tomorrow we’re going down to pick early in the morning, we’re flying out at 8 in the morning, so whatever we do tonight, we have to make sure that we are completely with it tomorrow. I’m hoping that we’re not going to sleep tonight. Sorry, Mum. Go down Kosan Road, mix in with the backpackers, and then go straight on our flight tomorrow. We have to make the most of it. You snooze, you lose. While Lara’s adventure is just beginning, in downtown Bangkok, Darren just wants a way out. Basically, coming to get an emergency passport and to get back home to the United Kingdom, basically, to London, where I live. family with my life the bank has unblocked his card but plowing through the application process is a real ball lake it’s very stressful but trying to stay calm and just get it done if i start worrying then i’m not going to get it done so i’m trying my best to stay Darren’s not alone. Britain’s near the top of the International Lost Passports League table. We like to keep airport staff like Khachib on their toes. The number guess for British people is lost passport. Every day, tourists tell me, we forgot it in the taxi, we forgot it in the toilet. And it’s not just us Brits. I forgot to take it with me when I got off the plane. Maybe on the toilet I put it, or… Can you give me your name, please? So you will see many passports here. This one, this one. I lost a passport. Reuniting passenger and passport isn’t always straightforward. John’s stolen passport is just the latest in a string of misfortunes that have left him stranded in Bangkok. Well, I was in the Grande Garde. I drove when I was about 20 years old. First three years we were doing public duties, standing outside Buckingham Palace, you know, with the big bear skin and the… Yeah, so it was quite strict and mundane. And then Afghan was just a total different ball game. It was just… I suppose, well, it was a war zone, weren’t it? We went into a village and then the Taliban just came out with an RPG. Struck me, I think it hit me in the chest and… Took my fingers off. Can’t really tell you much after that. I woke up in Birmingham six weeks later. I had a traumatic brain injury. Lost the most of my left hand. A few scars, broken jaw, a few broken bones here and there. There was a tracheostomy. I think they’d done it on the helicopter. I’m not sure how they’d done it, but it damaged my voice box a bit. But I’m alive, that’s the main thing. Many others ain’t. John left the army five years ago, but part of him still misses it. I want to see the world. That’s what I joined the army for, but obviously I’m not in the army anymore. So I’ll see the world on my own. This trip, this is to basically find myself, I suppose, and hopefully return to England. A better man than the left. But England seems a long way off, for the moment at least. He’s stuck in Bangkok with no way out. At Bangkok airport, Jacob, Brad, Dane and Grant are looking for a way out too. I don’t need to know where we’re going. We don’t know where the exit is. We’ve come this far, we can’t get lost now. We’re here. The boys from Kent have just flown in. They’ve taken a month off work to discover Thailand. I work in a fish and chip shop. Dane’s a delivery driver. Delivery driver. Grant’s a scientist. Yeah. And Jacob’s a zookeeper. I just work for a safari bar. He’s a lion tamer. Go with that. It’s so much cooler. The boys will travel round the islands for a month, ending up at the full moon party at Koh Phangan. It’s somewhere that we’ve never been before, so we thought we’d… Change it up, rather than going on a normal lads holiday to Malia or Magaluf or anything like that It would be a bit better to go a bit further afield and see more of the world I don’t know, just do Thailand while you’re young, while you don’t have responsibilities, kids or anything Just get out of the way and done with It’s a month, I’m going out there for a month I think you’ve got to experience it to be honest You’ve got to take it by the horns and just rattle it into submission sort of thing Getting deep with ladyboys I’ll come out for the parties, that’s about it really. I’ve got to be careful what I say, my missus will be listening. LAUGHTER I’m the only one with one. Still under the thumb, even though we’re hundreds of miles away. Do you know where it is? Yeah. But nothing in Kent prepares you for that first blast of Bangkok heat. Oh, my God, it’s warm. Oh, good. God, it’s really hot. I’m wearing ski socks because my feet are a bit cold. Where’s Wally? I’m sweating. I need to go jump in a pool and get a beer or something to chill out. Cold beer in a swimming pool sounds amazing right now. So are they ready for the trip of their lives? The worst thing, obviously one of us falling ill, getting injured, ending up in hospital, that’s got to be the worst thing. Worst case scenario, touch wood. I wouldn’t say it’s dangerous. I’d say it’s dangerous as to what you think it is. Quite possibly. Every country’s dangerous. Yeah. Every country’s dangerous in their own way, and it makes it more dangerous us never being here, so we’re going to just have to keep on. It’s about us as we’re going round and keep our heads screwed on. We like to think we’re four intelligent lads and we’ll be able to manage it, but I guess time will tell. The boys may be quietly confident, but holiday mishaps are ten to the bar to Thailand. At the medical centre, travellers can find their holiday extended indefinitely if doctors decide they’re not fit to fly. On standby today… Hello. ..is Dr Park. We’re working here inside the air posits. It’s quite a stressful job and complicated because we don’t deal just only the disease. In some cases, they don’t want to postpone the flight, so I have to advise them that you should not fly. If you fly, everything will become worse and nobody can help you. On the plus side, the hours are good and you get your own Segway. Everybody would like to use it too. When we pass a group of people, they will be shouting out loud, that was a sick way, very exciting. Suddenly, the medical centre takes a call. There’s an emergency in departures. We was informed that there was a patient that had a difficulty of breathing, so we had to go to the fourth floor. With initial details sketchy, doctors never know exactly what to expect. I cannot predict what I will see the patient, maybe just a little fainting, hyperventilation or maybe the real chest problem. Up on the fourth floor, Dr Pan finds 22-year-old Sarah in the grip of an apparent panic attack. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s fine. You can breathe because your oxygen is okay. Your oxygen is very normal. I need to go today. What time do you fly? 2 o’clock. 2.15? Melbourne 6pm. I need to pee. Oh, ah. OK, come on. No, no needles. No needles? No needles. Could I ask you a question? What is the cause of making you get a panic attack? Oh, just being worried about where I am. Because I was sick. Uh-huh. Then let’s check now. My family have high blood pressure heart attacks. Here? But right now it’s fine. 120 or 80. Normal. It’s way higher. Don’t worry. With Sarah hyperventilating, Dr. Pond Khan wants to calm her down back at the medical centre. I will bring you to overcleaning on the first floor. Nearby, nearby. OK? The first thing that she says to us is she’s got panic attacks. So it means that this is not the first time that she’s suffered from this. Maybe it happened so many times. I just didn’t breathe properly for a long time. Where are we going? Oh, clinic in the airport. When we saw her, we checked her blood pressure, her oxygen, everything is fine, just only from her stress. I just want to go home and play. Yes. Right now I will bring her to our clinic. Maybe we will observe for her clinical at least 30 minutes. Sarah’s going to have to calm down quickly if she’s going to make her flight back home. Many passengers find themselves staying in Bangkok longer than they bargained for. Like Lara and Becca. They’re back at the airport after their night out on the Khao San Road. There’s the… Yes! We’ve got about 10 minutes to spare if we’re lucky. They missed their early morning plane to Phuket, so they’ve had to book a new flight, and now they’re late for that. Last night, we went out in Bangkok, we went down Koh Sam Road, went to a few bars and things, and it was all good. We left on time, and then, yeah, we didn’t set our alarm. We woke up at half nine. We were meant to be in Phuket at half nine. I hope we have enough time to go through security. We’ll find out now, I hope so. No, this is it, OK? Phuket attracts more than 10 million visitors a year and most of them seem to be checking in today. I’m freaking out a bit. I think I’m going to go and ask a staff member if we’re going to be OK. We need to check in by 11 and it’s now nearly half 11 and I’m freaking out. Is that someone? I’ll go and ask that guy. The only way out is to jump the queue. To miss one flight might be careless, but to miss two… The lady said I can check in on the machine. Shall I go and try and do it while you’re there? Yeah. Spinning boarding passes! Yay! They’ve got their boarding passes, but just 20 minutes to make the gate. We’re all checked in and you’ve got to go and get a flight now. Woo! And when they finally get there… It’s delayed. How varied are they? There’s the plane. Let’s just get on. Oh, let’s just get on. Just go. Could be on the beach for now. Flight PT924 above Phuket is now ready for boarding. We can’t wait to get on that flight. Yeah. Next stop, Phuket. Five hours later than planned, they’re finally on their way, and their adventure is just beginning. While Lara and Becca head off to the islands, there’s good news for Darren too. He’s finally got hold of his emergency passport and London’s calling. Yeah! London town, baby! How’s it? No? HE LAUGHS Thank you for everything. I’ve got the passport now, I’m going home. Please stay in England. Sweet, sweet home. Eh? Do we? Thank you. England. Passport. Boom, boom. So let’s go. Back to England. Hello, sir. The British man is going to go now. You take care. Thank you. Thank you. Careful, please, sir. Hello, mate. You OK? Good. Thank you for the drive to the airport. Yeah? Yeah, thank you. Please, because we’ve got the passport now. We can leave Bangkok. Ah, you know, I have the passport. Yes, passport now. English one, British. You like that, huh? That’s me, huh? Yes. Oh, no, no. No, we can leave now. We can leave Bangkok. London, okay? Let’s go. Darren’s holiday hasn’t gone quite as planned. Here we go. Check-in time. Yeah! But he’s seeing it as a learning experience. It’s been very difficult. A lot of paperwork involved. And I would advise anybody to just be so cautious. with your British passport because you don’t realise how valuable it is until you lose it. Passport? Please be careful, please. Great Britain, here we come. But not quite yet. Sorry, I filled the form first. Should I go over here and come back? Thank you. Okay. Darren’s forgotten to complete his boarding card. Can I borrow a pen, please? While Darren tackles his final piece of paperwork, Sarah’s in the medical centre, still unsure whether she’ll be able to catch her flight. I just want to get on the plane. That’s my bag. That’s my bag. Where’s my passport? I feel like a medical prisoner. After… After Sarah’s panic attack at the gate, Dr. Pan must decide if she’s fit to fly. And what about the tablets that you take for panic? I just breathe into a bag. I will prescribe antibiotics for you. I can’t do it. I don’t do needles. I can’t. I can’t. Baby, could you? Put it under your tongue. It’s a needle. I don’t like needles. Actually, it’s not a needle. It’s just a thermometer. Sarah’s suffered panic attacks in the past, but it’s worse when it happens so far from home. It normally happens when I’m with lots of people in a crowded space and a bit stressed. They normally last a couple of hours and I get better by breathing through a McDonald’s bag. But I couldn’t communicate that to anyone. Because no one understood me or was just staring at me. I think that most of foreign passengers quite often get panic attacks. This condition is not a real physical disease, it’s just for mental disorder. The attack is just the latest in a series of holiday mishaps. I don’t think Thailand likes me very much. Food poisoning. I did a cooking class and got chilli in my eye. I just want to go to beautiful country. After Sarah’s had a 15-minute nap, Dr. Pan returns to deliver her verdict. Feeling better now? OK, don’t worry. I will make a call to inform the airline staff that you’re fit to fly so they can check in for you. I think that’s all for this case. She can fly because she knows what happened to her and she knows how to control that. So I don’t concern a lot. Am I staying in the wheelchair or am I walking? You’re going to take me? That’s good. I had to give the medical certificate and then it was sorted. Very easy, straight through, bags all packed in, so I’m off to Melbourne. Sarah’s got her Fit to Fly certificate, but how fit to fly is she? Not feeling good at all. Dizzy, I feel like I’m going to vomit. I don’t know how I’m going to do late take-off, but I need to be on this plane. As boarding time nears, the anxiety returns. Oh, I don’t like the look of those planes taking off. For a moment it’s not looking great. I can’t do this. How am I going to do this? But at the 11th hour she rallies. Hope it goes quickly. Hi. Away from the stresses and strains of Bangkok Airport lie Thailand’s holiday islands. A magnet for thousands of Brits heading for the famous full moon parties. Joining the crowds this month are Brad and the boys from Kent. You’ve just got to do the full moon, it’s more of a package. One of those things you’ve got to experience once, like, if you don’t do it, then you’re a bit like, why have you come to Thailand? After ten days, the boys are having a great time, apart from the odd dodgy curry. Some of the food has gone straight through. It’s absolutely delicious. It’s just undescribable. Don’t eat as much Thai food as everybody says. That’s not such a great idea. It’s good to pick in the culture, but really… It does go straight through you. And everyone’s like, yeah, just a little bit of sauce, and then you end up fucking soaking it in it, and you’re like, it’s not until you bite into it that it’s going to kick me in the arse tomorrow morning. It does. It really does. It’s ridiculous. Thai tummy aside, the main worry is Brad’s complete failure to pull. There’s plenty of girls here, man. You’re just not confident enough to talk to them. Hopefully. someone like will kind of get desperate and start crying so I can kind of make a move on them. Oh no! Party! The parties may be a blast, but back at Bangkok airport, the tourist police spend a lot of time dealing with full moon fallout. The young people come to Thailand, they just don’t think everything too much, just travel, just party. When someone loses everything, I think maybe it’s the reason that can make them like this. I had my passport between my wallet and now it’s not there anymore. It must be on the airplane or something. Today, Baitong and Toya are trying to help full moon reveller Emily get back to Finland. I don’t even have a cell phone because I lost that too. That’s another story. Fresh from the party, Emily’s lost his passport, mobile and money. But where and when and how? I really can’t tell you because I don’t even know it myself. At the parties, it’s go by now. The kid has stopped the airline, they try to shake it. I’m looking for your passport, so you have to wait in here, and then we try to call back. So I will be there? Right here, right here. For Emily, the last few days have been a bit of a blur. You’re a party. and I found myself bleeding in the forest. There was blood coming out of my head. I don’t got my cell phone with me and I don’t got my money or anything. And I even got some street dogs color around my neck and there was this big, big clock and I don’t know anything about that night. Yeah, I don’t want to be that kind of a stupid boy anymore that I have been and I don’t have to get Fucked up anymore so much. So I just want to get home Okay, so yeah We have good news. The staff of the airline, they filed your passport. And then you have to wait here. They will bring it here. 15 minutes. That’s the worst thing. Thanks. Thank you so much. Yeah, I’m so lucky. My heart was beating. This is our last night here at Bangkok, and I don’t want to do anything stupid anymore, so I just have to be careful now. Relieved, remorseful and reunited with his passport, Emily’s free to fly back to Finland. I’m so… I’m so glad we’re at the point. It just saved my life. Thanks for everyone. OK. Thanks. Yeah. Thailand’s reputation as a party destination can throw up all kinds of problems at the airport. Not just for the police. Officer Bean works over in Chekkin. Boarding pass, please. She’s become highly skilled in spotting the telltale signs of tipsiness. Their face would be red and their smell, how they talk to me. Yeah, someone, someone, they drink beer in front of me. They take off, yeah, take off the clothes in front of the cabin crew. Yeah. So I have to take that passenger to the police station and he’s… What do you think? Anyone who appears too intoxicated can find themselves stuck in Bangkok until they sober up. Just follow the rule, but try to tell them properly. No matter how hungry they are. Did you have a party? Are you OK? Do you want to go on another flight? Do you want to take a race first? Today, Lewis and Grant are on their way home to Cornwall, and Lewis is feeling a bit fragile. I didn’t get in until about 7. six o’clock this morning i had to get up at eight for my taxi but it’s been worth it for eight wild weeks and a full moon party to remember yeah two months of absolute pure fun and i’m glad to go home right now yeah it’s two months of absolute carnage how are you bye sir thank you very much and you on a new year’s eve copenhagen that was epic 30 000 people raving on the beach i can’t get better I want to get a chance. I can down all this water. Lewis and Grant pass-beam sobriety check with flying colours, despite having a late one. Last night was the final night. It was messy. I’m dying now. Yeah, it’s a good time. Yeah, mushroom shakes. Yeah, mushroom shakes. I fell off a balcony, a two-storey balcony, and got away, just got through pretty much. That’s why you have a lucky horseshoe tattoo, see? With Lewis’s lucky horseshoe working overtime, the boys gallop through immigration. Airside, Lewis celebrates with a beer, but Grant’s still working up to it. Trying to get some life in me so I get a chang down my throat. I need one final chang before I leave Thailand. One, two, yeah. But as the gate gets nearer, Grant feels queerer. Must have been something he ate. Raw chicken on Coat Sound Road. Not a good idea. It actually looks like piss. It looks like wee. I feel alright. You’ve got to get on with it. It’s part of the fun of Asia. Live on the toilet for a night, and then you’ll be alright the next day. It just happens that I’m in the airport, so I look like a feral beast. Oh no, it’s leaking. Oh no. Right, let’s go empty it. As Grant’s condition worsens, Lewis stages an intervention. I’ve got a sandwich and crisps. It’s going to be a fun 12-hour flight anyway. The crisps seem to do the trick. Bit of chung to come out then. You all right? You all right, boy? Get up and walk it off. And after that little hiccup, Bean clears Lewis and Grant for take-off. He is ill, but he is quite healthy, so he is free to fly. As Lewis and Grant jet home, Army Vet John’s back at the British Embassy hoping for his emergency passport. And today, he’s in a more positive frame of mind. Yeah, I feel good today. I feel more optimistic and happier. I was a bit down in the dumps yesterday. All I need is to get an emergency passport and then a flight out of here hopefully. Number 35. Looks like I’ve got quite a long wait. I’m going to sit down and read my book for a bit, if that’s OK. The British Embassy in Bangkok deals with around 9,000 customers a year, so a good book’s not a bad idea. See, I’m reading my book, Shantaram. It’s about going on the run in India with no visa and no passport. It’s starting to sound familiar. Could be me writing a book like this in the next few months. John’s case is more complicated than most. This isn’t his first emergency passport and his visa’s lapsed. The embassy say they’ll help, but it’ll take time. Just told me what the score was. He has to wait five days, so I’m in a bit of trouble at the minute, but I’ve been through worse. But if he’s going to stay in Bangkok, John’s going to need money. So who are you going to call? Hello mum. Still in Thailand. Have you got 400 pae? I can borrow it till Wednesday. While John faces five more days in Bangkok, Officer Baitong and the tourist police have been called to the airport concourse to deal with another traveller in distress. After two weeks travelling round Thailand, Atul has been found wandering the airport perimeter. Half naked and with no belongings. Hello, can I help you? What problem? Do you have some problem? We are tourist police, we will help you. Atul starts telling an incredible story. He says he’s been hiding near the airport all night in fear of his life. Baitong takes him back to Tourist Police HQ to find out more. I want to get back to India as soon as possible before I lose myself. I’ve lost everything else apart from you. I have to run for my life. I was being chased. Who’s chasing you? Who? How do I know? Thai person? Yeah, Thai person. How many persons? 10, 15. We were looking for your t-shirt, your clothes. Yeah, just one shirt and one t-shirt. Take a shower first and then I will call to your embassy and contact your family. The police try to cheer him up by giving him one of their official t-shirts. We have some t-shirts but we don’t have… It’s OK? When Atul doesn’t laugh, Baitong realises something’s seriously wrong. I think he has something wrong with himself, but we don’t know. He didn’t tell us. I think he has some ill and he looks… Hungry. The police get him a sandwich, but he still seems anxious and distressed. First time in my life I got the scare, death scare. Never had. I never had it. You have to buy a new ticket or make a new passport, all right? You need to talk to Indian embassy. Atul speaks to his embassy, but it’s Friday night. They’re about to close for the day. for the weekend. What did they say? What did they say? They say Monday you come, I will take you home. Huh? Monday you come. Monday. With nowhere to go and no money, Atul will have to spend the next two days at the airport alone and Baitul is worried. I think when you go to another country, I know that’s feeling. When you don’t have family, don’t have friends, you don’t know how to talk with another one, don’t have money to pay some food. Cannot fly. I think this feeling is not good. So that means I have to help him. Down at the medical centre, Ellen is hoping for the all-clear to fly home to Sweden. On my cough, I have… Like wounds from the fangs from the dog, which are quite deep and those are open so they have drainage in them. Okay, good. Only please? Yeah. Ellen had been in Thailand just three days before disaster struck. I got bitten by a dog while walking. Unprovoked, actually. I didn’t do anything to the dog. I was walking by the beach and suddenly I felt something around my leg. So I didn’t even really see the dog before it had happened. So we immediately went into the medical center. They saw it had gotten infected, so I was hospitalized for five days. And they had to do a small surgery. on the front of my leg. With more than 100,000 stray dogs on the streets of Bangkok alone, it’s a growing problem for the medical team led by Dr. Art. Hello. We do see a lot of patients with dog bites or monkey bites also, because the passenger always like to go to play with them. Yeah, and then they just, yeah. Ellen acted quickly. Thank you so much. But that didn’t stop the wound getting infected. She’s got the selfies to prove it. Don’t pass out. This one got over 100 likes. When you have holes in your leg, I guess it gets reactions. With Ellen’s flight leaving in the next 24 hours, she needs a fit-to-fly certificate before she boards the plane. Hello. Hello. I’m Dr Shane. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. So you got a dog bite. Yes. It’s a big one. Yeah, a big one. Nasty dog. He hadn’t brushed his teeth because they were dirty, so I got infected. I haven’t really looked myself because I don’t want to see it. It’s really good. It’s really good. I Yeah, that’s right. Yeah. For Dr. Art, it’s a clean-up job. The hard work’s been done, luckily for Ellen. The wound looks quite deep, that’s why we have to put the drain gas inside the wound to release the pus. The dangerous of this is if she didn’t get a good treatment, she may lose her leg later on due to infection. I do like my leg. the wounds redressed and Dr. R. Art’s happy to let Ellen fly. After a holiday, she won’t forget. The plan was to go scuba diving. That didn’t happen. Sometimes things don’t go as planned. Okay, thank you so much. But the experience hasn’t put Ellen off Thailand, just dogs. I’m actually kind of more of a cat person. Especially now, I would say. Atul spent the night sleeping rough at the airport, but now he’s been brought back in after police found him in an agitated state. Not as ugly, not as ugly. You smoking, you ok? I don’t smoke. Baitong’s worried about his mental health. health. Yesterday he’s not like this. He look normal person yesterday but not like today. As concern grows the police bring in nurse May from the medical centre. The police called us because they just want to make sure you’re alright. So do you mind if I just sit and talk, OK? She quickly realises Atul needs help. So there’s no place for you to stay here. Like you see, there’s a lot of tourists here, a lot of passengers. You need a bed, you need to get some rest, OK? We want you to see a doctor in the hospital. There’s going to be someone taking care of you there. Can you stop for a minute? But Atul declines treatment and decides to leave. No, no, no. These people have stopped me. Give them time. They’ve stopped me. Let me go, otherwise all of us will get shot. As he becomes more excitable, Nurse May makes a decision. They’re beating me up! I can hear them. She orders him to be sedated. They’re beating me up! Be careful! You don’t play a fair game. Can you just have a seat? We will not harm you. I’ve talked to the general, I’ve informed… Then the moment my voice stops, they can assume I’m dead. No, no, no, no. You just see. Let’s figure out a plan. I’m going to live and you are going to live. 200. Five minutes later, Atul is showing no signs of calming down. Normally one shot is working. For him, one shot did not react well, so we have to do the second shot. The family want us to send him to the hospital and get some treatment until he’s stable enough to fly home. Finally, the ambulance takes Akhil downtown, where he can be… …properly cared for at a specialist hospital. After their holiday of a lifetime, the boys from Kent are heading back home. Here we go, PG907. They made it round the islands, but just the odd wrong turn. We went to the wrong airport at one point on this holiday. Next time we come travelling, we’re going to take our parents, so we actually know where we’re going. We’re going, what we’re doing. Making a sit in the corner while we just have some fun. You don’t actually feel clean, though. After various upsets, the guys have kind of given up on Thai food. We stuck to, like, the old pizzas and burgers and stuff. We’ve been so Western, it’s unreal. Not even the Western food are creeping me out here. I’ve just had a bad stomach the whole time. Brad didn’t pull, but he won’t be going home empty-handed. I bought a really cool, like, antique. Oh, God, yeah. Looks like something from Jumanji. This must be 150 quid. It’s got, like, a tattoo kit in it. Like the old traditional tattoo kit. I was like, that looks pretty, like, expensive. So I thought, I’m going to buy that. We went back the next day and she had another one sitting there. She said this was really rare. And he’s got the tattoo to go with the kit, just like Dane’s. Someone copied me, but we’ve got it in different places. We always said we were going to get matching tattoos. One of the lines means that you become more attracted to the opposite sex. That intrigued me. That’s the main reason I got it. While Brad dreams on, the boys head for the gate after one last Thai meal. Yeah. What are you going to have? A triple burger? Chicken and stuff. In Bangkok, John’s not had a square meal in three days, but today he’s one step closer to finding a way out. Got a phone call from my mum now. She’s been worried for the last couple of days. Erm, she’s lent me the money to get a flight home. So that’s part of my mission. So I’m on my way now to get to the Western Union to get some money. I’m down to my last 20 baht. God bless my visa. A quick trip to pick up the cash and his immediate troubles are over. Yeah, I’ve got 36,000 baht, which is enough for my flight, but now I’ve got to wait whether I can get a passport or not. So I’ve got enough to live and survive. John’s now got the money to stay in Bangkok till he’s issued with the paperwork that will finally bring him back to England. And after three days in hospital, Atul too is on his way home. A family friend has come to take him back to India. I’ve been through such extreme behaviours, absolutely paranoid, gone insane, everybody falling. everybody trying to kill me, the battlefield being the airport. At the hospital, I came to my senses. And from then on, I regained my consciousness, and now my focus is clear in life, what to do, what not to do. Thank you. So it’s sawadee, as they say, to Bangkok airport. However big the hangover, wherever you put your passport… HE CHUCKLES Yeah! ..it’s good to know you can usually find your way out. Get the roast dinner on quickly. Don’t forget the Oosha puddings and all the trimmings, all right? There’s trouble brewing at the airport of smiles. I walked out of the hotel room and there’s shooting going on. As protesters take to the streets, the airport grinds to a halt. Nobody. You can see nobody. This kind of sad situation. that I got. A full moon party goes horribly wrong for two young Brit packers. She just collapsed in my arms. The only explanation is that I got spiked. The English Thai boxing team touches down and they’re spoiling for a bite. This is the one that we’re trained for. This is the big one. And it all kicks off at Tourist Police HQ. Is it the first time somebody tried to kill an officer? There’s trouble in paradise and the airport is on red alert. Anti-government protesters are holding demonstrations across the city, hoping to bring Bangkok to a standstill. We were seeing the news on the TV program. There are a lot of people that fight for the political situation. The shutdown means roads are blocked and banks and businesses are closed and the airport could be next. It’s like a revolution in this country. I hope it’s not happening here. Pray for that. But the protests are already affecting the airport. As word gets round, tourists like Tiffany and Matt are desperate to get home. I knew about the riots, but I didn’t think it was going to be that bad at first. When speaking to a few locals, the ties and that, they were just like, yeah, yeah, get out, get out if you can. And then we just came straight to the airport. But getting out’s not so easy. Today till 10. Sammy was due to fly home today after a month in Thailand. So I was going to get a shuttle bus at 4pm, and then I walked out of the hotel room and there’s shooting going on. I was like, OK, so there’s a riot going on, am I going to be able to get to the airport? And now my flight’s been delayed. The last time there were protests like this, the airport was shut down for eight days. This time, the police are ready for anything. Cut! The pandemic has hit us hard. We need to move to a safe place. Staff are working overtime to advise anxious tourists how to avoid the trouble spots. Wow, there’s a lot of demonstrations going on. Protests. Yes, protests. So many people come here to ask the way, how to go to downtown, another way. We just stay here and give them some information about the protesters in Bangkok. Three, two, one, beep. So far the troubles haven’t reached Captain Jack, the airport’s happiest immigration officer. I love my job. He’s hard at work stamping visas with his trusty stamping machine. I love this machine. It sounds so good. See? Ching, ching, ching, ching, ching, ching. That makes my day. Every Visa Jack stamps means more money for Thailand. I will go to government account. This is the income of my country. OK. But if the tourists stay away, it could be bad news for Jack and his country. You know, I cannot have, like, the opinion for the politics right now. Because we work as a government officer, so we are in the middle, and we all work our best. Yeah, work our best, you know? So we work our best. Not everyone’s been scared. Head off by the Troubles. The English Thai boxing team are here to compete in the World Championships. They love a good fight. This is the one that we train for. This is the big one. I’ve got to get my gold medal. I promised my grandma. Thank you. Will’s come with his girlfriend Beth. They fell in love when their eyes met over a crowded gym in Oldham. They’ve been fighting together ever since. He asked me out at the gym, how romantic is that? HE LAUGHS He was, like, looking at me, went, ”Oh, Beth, we might just go out.” out with me. Because I was one there. It’s Beth’s first time competing in the World Championships. Will’s been knocked out here before but this time they’ve got each other. I’ve got Beth with me for my biggest supporters here and I’m a… biggest support. Being there for each other and having someone there makes you feel a lot calmer and a lot better. And he knows me more than anyone and I know him more than anyone. Beating the Thais at their own game won’t be easy but Will can’t wait to kick some ass, which is probably allowed in the rules. It’s a lot more rough than any other sports that I know about. You get to use your elbows and your knees. I don’t know many sports that you can use your elbows and your knees in anyway. I’ve always been a fighter. Since I was a young guy I used to fight. at school and everything. The tournament’s taking place in the old capital city of Ayutthaya, away from the worst of the protests. But Thai boxing’s a tough sport. Will they still be smiling when the fighting’s over? Over at Tourist Police HQ, a new case has come up for Officers Toy and Baitong. Hello! Kiss coming, kiss coming. They’re dealing with a traveller who’s been spotted behaving erratically in the airport. Hello! Where are you from? Sweden. So what about your problem, sir? Yes. The security said you look so serious. So where is your shoes? May I see your passport, please? What’s your name? Yeah. Yeah. I’m just . Just wait. Just wait, sir. The man decides to enter the back office without permission. So stay here. On your passport, sir. Just stay here You keep it No, you cannot go that’s the longer he’s questioned the more agitated he becomes Come here. I didn’t try to but he really talk not nicely to me. But okay, I do understand. Eventually, Toy decides to let him leave. Without his passport, he can’t get far. Toy knows that sooner or later, he’ll be back. Under the airport concourse, the immigration squad is falling in. It’s not good news. The protests downtown have claimed their first victims. With tensions rising, the team know they have to be in peak physical condition. Some people take it more seriously than others. Take Captain A. She’s the airport’s most motivated immigration officer. Coming up! No need to go to the gym. You can do that everywhere and make it harder. Ow! I’m 43. For my age, I need to do running two miles in 13 minutes. If I want to get excellent, 12 minutes and 14 seconds. A warmed-up Captain A returns to doing what she does best, sending people to the back of the queue. Pizza on. But they’re getting shorter. The queue’s not the people. Since they know about the political crisis in Thailand… Seems like 40% of the charter flights was cancelled. The tourism, the hotel, they also affected by the situation. So it’s not good at all. Let me see your boarding pass, please. Working alongside Captain A is Captain Sarek. He’s the airport’s most helpful immigration officer. Passport, please. Today, he’s helping to reassure passengers anxious about the political unrest. Have you heard of protesting in Bangkok before? No. Yeah, we heard about it. But we think it should be okay. A lot of people in Hong Kong where we live, like, were canceling flights. But we thought it would be okay. Why cancel? Because of processing, right? Some people were scared. Some people are not coming. But we think it should be okay. It’s okay. This way, please. Nothing to fear. Alright? Do you think so? We’re going the right way. Hot off the plane are Tally and Tiri, best friends from Maidenhead. Visa on arrival up there. And then, what, we get our visa and then go to baggage them? Yeah. They’re here for a six-week trip around Thailand and Laos. We have no idea what we’re doing. They’re going to spend one night in Bangkok, if they ever get out of this airport. Hello. Hello. We’re just wondering where we need to go. Do you have a visa? No, we don’t. We need to get a visa. Is it first time, Zala? Yes. The friends land on their feet with Captain Sarek. Not only does he point them in the right direction, he helps fill in their arrival cards. Thank you so much. Thank you. And this will be a state of mind. Listen, he’s the friendliest person we’ve met so far. Yeah, no, definitely. Tally and Tiri might need all the help they can get if they’re gonna make the full moon party at Koh Samui. It’s like a big party where all travellers go. Don’t know what to expect. Tally, what do we do once we get out? Search for a place to stay. It’s like first time on a ride, away from everyone. We’re kind of on a whim, aren’t we? Maybe go to information? Yeah, OK. Which way is that? To the right, we’re kind of a bit both unorganised, trying to be organised together, trying to keep each other going. Trying to keep the balance of fun, but not getting lost and kidnapped. And in trouble. We’re just looking for a hostel for one night. Hostel? Yeah. Near here or in the city? Near here, because we’ve got to be back here tomorrow morning. I don’t think we really know what we want at the moment. It’s just an adventure. We’re not expecting anything except sun and… Farm trees. I don’t really know what is going to happen. I think you’re going to learn a lot. I hope so. Learn a lot. Yeah, I hope so. It’s an experience of lifetime that many people don’t get. Thank you. You’ve been amazing. Is that the hotel name? Yeah, can you pronounce that? Savarava Bambi. The girls won’t be getting up to any monkey business. These are what our boyfriends gave us from home to keep as a comfort kind of thing. I do think we’ll look pathetic, the girls at the beach party crying because they’ve lost their teddy. Oh no. Sorted for B&B, Tally and Tirri head off. Next stop, the full moon party. Now, where’s the way out? That’s the next step. Big sign. Where? Over there. A couple of hours north of Bangkok lies the ancient city of Ayutthaya. Today it’s hosting the opening ceremony of the World Thai Boxing Championships. You ready? Yeah? Yeah. Remember what all this hard work is for, you hear? Will and Beth will be fighting for England in the spiritual home of their sport. You’ll have it. It’s yours, this. Train for it. Will’s stepping into the ring first and Beth’s doing her best to fire him up. Will’s teammates know how tough it’ll be fighting at the highest level. As soon as that bell rings, he’s got three rounds to just go for it. Like unleash the animal, all this hard training that he’s put in. He’s just got to go, absolutely give everything he’s got. To represent your country is an honour, isn’t it? It’s going to be a hard fight. Come on, Will! Come on, Will! Will’s first opponent is from Uzbekistan and with Beth’s shouts ringing in his ears, Will unleashes the animal. Get Will! Get him! Come on Will, you beast! Come on! Fight for it! Goal! Bye! With the first win under his belt, Will’s a step closer getting his hands on gold. I’m proud of him, really proud of him. I nearly knocked him out. They slowed down in third so I thought I would. I was a bit tired. He’s been worrying so much and then he steps in the ring and he’s just amazing every time. Beth’s had the supporting role tonight, but tomorrow it’ll be Will in the crowd and she’ll be centre stage. Back at Bangkok airport, it’s eerily quiet as more holidaymakers cancel their flights. You can see the line, no passenger. So what to do? Foreigners don’t come to Thailand. Because they check the news. Maybe they are afraid. In his immigration booth, Captain Jack is growing restless. I’m waiting for the passenger coming to apply for visa. But this time, nobody. Nobody’s here. So I’m kind of sad. To keep spirits up, Jack’s been entertaining passengers with a dance routine. I try to find my video that I do performance. See? See? How professional I am. Back at Tourist Police HQ, Officer Baitong has welcomed back a familiar guest. The head office of the tourist police called me here. They said they have somebody abnormal over there. And they let me… I go there and bring him to my office. He told me I am Robocop. Robocop has been identified as the tourist who gave Toy a tough time on his last visit to the office. I asked him… Do you need some food? He said yes. And my colleagues bring him some food. As the man becomes increasingly erratic, officers monitor his behavior closely. I think he have some problem in his brain. Their fears are realised when the man suddenly turns violent. The man is quickly subdued, but it’s a tense moment. Luckily, Baitong can see the funny side. The man is taken to the local police station down on the ground floor, where he can be held more securely. Realising he’s ill, they don’t arrest him. Instead, he’s taken to a Bangkok hospital, where he’ll be looked after and his mental stays evaluated. As the protests continue downtown, more tourists are trying to leave. Thailand but they’re facing ever longer delays Connor and his friends have been stuck here most of the day To add insult to injury Connor had to show his penis to a ladyboy. Oh, yeah, when we were stressing about the… ..getting to a new hotel last night, we went into a travel agent’s and I felt a tap on my shoulder, I turned around and the ladyboy went, let me see your cock! Let me see your cock! Showed her it and she buggered off. Con is one of the lucky ones. I was stuck in Bangkok because my taxi didn’t show up and all the streets were shut down so nobody picked me up. So I walked… Lydia’s missed her flight after getting caught up in the protests. No, it’s not open. I’ve gone to the fifth floor three times. And she wasn’t happy to find her airline desk closed when she got here. Yeah, well, I’m having a serious problem here and I’m trying to get the fuck out of Bangkok. Excuse my French. Yes, I missed the flight today because I can’t get the fuck out of Bangkok. Lydia nearly didn’t get here at all. I had to walk for like a mile and then I asked this guy on his motorbike if he would… Give me a ride. It wasn’t even a taxi. So I paid some guy on the street to take me on his motorcycle to get me here. The airline will transfer her ticket. Can you book me for that flight and not charge me? But the next available flight doesn’t leave till tomorrow. I’m a little bit pissed. Slightly. Want to get a beer? After eight weeks backpacking through Asia… Lydia won’t let a one-day delay spoil the trip of a lifetime. Oh, it’s been phenomenal. I’ve been on the road for two months and I feel like… I feel like I’ve had an education of, you know, a couple of years, really packed into two months. I’ve learned so much more about the people. around me and how other people live and putting life in perspective and what’s important. With a whole day to kill, Lydia’s resigned to a long and boring stay at the airport. I just hope that I get on my flight tomorrow. Because nobody knows what the fuck is happening. I’ll get out at some point. It’s not like I’m going to die here. Things could be worse. With more protests expected tonight, police are putting up roadblocks around the airport perimeter. There’s a chance some travelers won’t make it to the airport at all. If some tourists, they’re booking a hotel in Bangkok and they have a flight today, if they want to come here, maybe they will miss a flight because of traffic. The United Kingdom awaits. I don’t want to go back. After a month in Thailand, Laura and Nina are due to fly home tonight. Let’s stay then. OK. I’ll just stay here in my bed, in my cosy bed. You can go if you want to, but I think I’ll stay. With the roads outside gridlocked, they may have no choice. I mean, just look at it. It’s crazy. The traffic is ridiculous. They’re not moving. But that’s partly, I think, we’re right in the middle of the protests. Yeah. There have been some people getting killed, but… I mean, we haven’t really, yeah. ..we haven’t been in the middle of it. Yeah. Fuck. Are we going to make it home? The girls have an added incentive for catching their flight. Their 30-day visa exemptions expire tonight. I want to make sure we get to the airport way before midnight, past three immigration, so we can say, no, it’s till the 17th, even though our flight leaves technically on the 18th. No, I think that’s good. Let’s do that. Let’s not just risk anything, really. On the last day that we’re here, we could end up in jail. Can you imagine? No. Down on the streets, there are signs of the protests everywhere. Look at that. Thai people usually are not violent, they’re nice. They’re friendly. Look at that. This is not nice. Tori’s on his way to meet an old friend at the airport. They’re closed a lot of roads, like this one is closed. You can’t go anywhere. Unbelievable. Tori came to Bangkok for a relaxed… It’s a relaxing break, but it’s not working out. This is a holiday. It’s supposed to be a holiday, but it’s becoming a little bit of a nightmare now. Tory’s friend Joan has flown in from Australia, but now he’s too late to meet her off the plane, and he can’t seem to find her anywhere. She’s supposed to come out here, in this gate here, the B. As he sets off to look for her, he starts to lose focus. That’s a beautiful dress, eh? Look at that. See that? Nice colour. Nice smile, look at that. They’ve got a beautiful smile here. She’s not here. I hope she’s OK. Hey, I’m worried. Tori decides to charm the tourist police into helping him find his friend. What’s your name? It’s John Wallace. Man? No, it’s a woman. If he’s a man, I’ll go. I don’t mind waiting for women. What flight? I can’t remember the number, but it’s landed at 8.40 in the morning. Back from Sissip? Yes. Unbelievable, eh? I’m struggling. Tori’s friend has picked up her bags and… and officer Kana Kwan thinks she may have left the airport. If she get the bags, it means she pass already. Why we have to shake immigration again? Just peace of mind anyway. Mr. Tory, do you have cell phone? Pardon? Cell phone? Mobile number. I do, but I just got it yesterday. I can’t remember the number. Okay, call me. I don’t have the phone with me. I left it this morning at home. Um… I’m supposed to be on holiday. I don’t need any phone, any… Yeah, that’s necessary now. Now? Tori seems to be getting desperate. Can you do the announcement? Like, ask for information? We can’t, yes. You got no power at all? No. OK. My options are running out. I’ll go out and check my emails outside the airport. Hopefully, you’re going to… Officer Kanekwan’s only… too pleased to point Tori in the direction of anywhere else but when he tries to log on to his email he can’t remember his password despite receiving a prompt. You ask me where I met my wife? Which one? Unbelievably he can’t log on. I can’t access it, hey. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. It’s shaping up like a long day. Would you like a drink? Up in Ayutthaya, another victory means Will’s reached the finals of the World Thai Boxing Championships. Now he’s hoping to find similar fortune for his girlfriend Beth in her fight tonight. Going to the temple, getting this blast for Beth. I’m gonna give it her just before a fight for good luck. I got it from shopping something earlier. The monks are busy at the moment, so we can’t bless the Buddha for Beth. Having come all this way, Will decides to bless the Buddha himself before heading back to training camp, where he finds Beth sick with nerves. Beth? Can I come in? I’ve got you something. You’ll be fine. You’ll be fine. Hello. Your hand’s shaking. Thank you. It’s Beth’s day today. It’s all yours, isn’t it? Give me a pass. Go for it. I messaged my mum. She always says, like, I can’t pick something like synchronised swimming, but then again, that’s not me, so… Beth’s just a few hours away from the fight of her life. And Will’s praying the lucky Buddha does the trick. I’ll come with you. Back at the airport, Tori still hasn’t found his friend Joan. He doesn’t have a phone, he can’t pick up emails and his beer’s starting to froth. Unbelievable. He enlists the help of Officer Gibidoo at the information desk. My problem is I’m waiting for a friend and I think she’s lost in the airport. Really? All I need is you announce your her name. Oh, yeah. If we can find her. That would be very nice. Okay. Whoo! One wallet. We’ll get it somewhere. That’s already five hours. Yes. Probably she’s lost somewhere. How about she might get to the hotel already or something. One hotel. I don’t know. It’s a lady. It’s a lady with a big boobs. A big one. Jib’s pretty sure Tori’s friend has left the airport, but she can offer some free advice. You shouldn’t be drinking. If you drink, you will look… you will discredit yourself. Really? Yeah, exactly. And no-one would like to hear… I will help you as much as you don’t drink. Oh, that’s why. My first beer for the day. I’m in trouble already. It looks like Torey’s never gonna find his friend Joan. I believe him, right? I hope you find her. Thank you very much. You can always come back to this counter. I don’t think I’m gonna come back here. Really? No, that’s enough. For today is enough. Oh. Yeah. There’s only one word for it. Unbelievable. With more protests expected tonight, police are guarding all the roads to the airport. Laura and Nina are heading back to London and hoping to avoid the worst of the trouble, but it’s going to be tight. Are we going to make it on time? And to make matters worse, their standard 30-day visa exemption is about to expire. Let’s see what happens. Let’s hope he hurries up. Oh, we just made it. When the girls finally reach the airport… No! Oh my god! Cancelled! What? Oh no! Look at all the cancelled flights! What’s going on? We’re fucked! With no chance of catching their connection to London, they go in search of an alternative flight. Right now the visa is the least of my worries, to be honest. I just need to get back to London. We need to get the second flight, that’s really important, because otherwise we’re going to have to buy one new flight. It’s okay, but two, I mean… No, it’s not going to happen. At the airline desk, there’s a lifeline. Oh, wow, it’s better. That’s even better. It’s shorter waiting time and shorter arrival. Much better. They’re offered a free transfer onto a better flight. They put us on a flight. to London via Dubai so we’re now off to Dubai just like that in five minutes and we actually saving for hours so we get to London a lot earlier than we thought we would be which is nice yeah yeah it is actually a blessing in disguise I know mentioning of visa well not yet immigration Will the visas be spotted? Laura’s first to go. When she makes it, Nina slips through after, and the friends are cleared for take-off. Laura and Nina may have slipped the net, but as the protests continue, Captain Jack is stamping his visas in a state of heightened alertness. And I hear it, like, every day. Ching, ching, ching, ching, ching, ching. But you need at least a page for Jack’s stamp. and this passenger is running out of space. Time for a friendly reminder. Sir, I want you to understand that when you’re making a visa on arrival, you need a visa on arrival in Thailand, we need one page full. And this time we really, really assist you to get in, OK? Because we know that you will be a very good tourist, but it will be the last time for you to use… This passport. Renew it. OK? This passenger got off lightly. Jack’s not the toughest officer in the department. I’m not the one who’s strict. Another one who’s straight that title goes to inspect him why? Svanteca in the current climate. She’s watching out for any suspicious behavior Yana from Seattle has been hanging around the airport for nearly 24 hours some wise asked Captain Bert to investigate Do you have a ticket for your next fight? It’s from the other airport. It’s Donmeng Airport. Oh, it’s just electronic ticket. Yeah. OK. Yeah. Yana tells Bert she’s waiting for a connecting flight to the island of Koh Phangan, but she didn’t realise she had to transfer to Bangkok’s other airport, Donmeng. Bert reports back to Inspector Muay. Would they put me in jail? I don’t know. I hope not. Cross my fingers. Knock on wood. But Muay wants to find out more. You see, I have to know why you stay inside for a long time. Oh, I told them I have a flight tomorrow morning at 7am and I thought it was from here. I didn’t know there was more than one airport here. But it’s from the other airport. And where will you stay inside? Just on seats, on my computer and sleeping. The case like this looks like a suspect passenger that waits for the time to enter after flight. It’s no good for the passenger. Officers believe that some passengers wait for the busiest time to pass through immigration, hoping they’ll be processed quickly and smuggled items won’t be found. If you have to wait for connecting flight, you are fine, must have connecting at this airport. If have the case like this, we have to suspect that person. I thought my connecting was in this airport. I didn’t know there was another one. And then I found out that there was another one, so I went out. I was supposed to take the shuttle from here, but I just found out. So she’s confused about the flight. It’s OK. Misunderstanding cleared up, Bert points Jana in the direction of the shuttle bus. My boss asked why her to next time shake the flight already and shake the airport. For Jana, it’s a lesson learnt. Don’t hang out at Bangkok airport in the middle of a national emergency when Inspector Mwai is on duty. I didn’t think anything bad could happen, but you never know. Especially in a foreign country, just about anything can happen. Next up through immigration is 24-year-old mum of two, Marika. Hello. Nice to meet you. It’d have to be something important to make her brave the troubles in Bangkok. Yeah, I’m a little bit nervous about this rioting thing. I’ve just arrived in Bangkok to get some plastic surgery done. Breast augmentation and a tummy tuck, all at the same time. My whole life I was really overweight and then I… I had two kids and I lost heaps of weight, so body’s not what it should be for a 24-year-old, so getting it fixed up. Two and a half million people come to Thailand each year for surgery. Marika meets her fellow medical tourists. So your doctor, what’s his name? Dr. Tiddy. Dr. Tiddy, yeah. What’s your doctor? His first name’s Pornthep. So I don’t know if he does porn stars or not, you know. In fact, Dr. Titi is one of the pioneers of Thailand’s plastic surgery boom. I think people come to Thailand for cosmetic surgery because we have quite a standard job and with a cheaper price. Dr. Titi doesn’t stop at tummy tucks and breast enhancements. The other group is transgender patients. We’re very famous for that. They come from all over the world for the transgender, for the sex change surgeries. Nothing so drastic for Marika, but it could still be a life-changing experience. It’s time tomorrow I’ll have a new body. Back at the World Thai Boxing Championships, it’s the moment of truth for Beth. Lose this one and she’s on the plane home. I feel more nervous than I do for my fighter, to be honest. I don’t know what she’ll do. Will’s right to be nervous. Thai boxing takes no prisoners, and the fighter from before is still coming around. Beth’s opponent in the red corner is one of the tournament favourites. Just go for it, just go for it. Straight in. Come on, Beth, this is your time. Come on. Come on, Beth! Now! Now! Come on! Leave her! Leave her! Get her up, Beth, get her up! Go on, let her in! Keep her out! Almost from the off, Will’s fears are confirmed. He should have waited for the monks to bless the Buddha. Come on! Beth’s taking a beating. Hands up, hands up. Turn him the other way! Leave Beth! In! Come on! Come on! In! Get him down, Beth! Come on! Hands up! Beth battles bravely, but Will knows the game’s up. Beth! She’s a bit upset. That’s understandable. I’ll try and make her feel better later. You did really good. I got a few elbows in, she’s got a few big lumps on her head, so I’m all right as long as she’s got some marks. I’ve got my lump. Still smiling, she’s not got my heart down. At the end of the day, you’ve come over, you’ve fought for England, you’re entitled. one of the most amazing countries in the world. And it’s an honour to be here with your second family, England team. Beth’s putting on a brave face, but the pressure’s now on Will to win gold for her, England and his gran. MUSIC PLAYS It’s a new day at Bangkok airport. The night’s passed off relatively peacefully and the airport’s keen to show its business as usual. After the success of Captain Jack’s dance routine, they’re laying on even more entertainment for anxious passengers. in the food court, a real-life Thai celebrity has dropped in. People, when they see me, they are hungry. And that hungry must be very yummy as well. Thailand’s top food critic, Khun Rit, is filming her top-rating food show right here, right now at the airport. I’m the food restaurant endorser and having the program every day, Monday to Friday on Channel 3. I must say that Channel 3 now is a top rating in Thailand. Khun Reed’s come to check out an Italian restaurant up on 4th floor departures. Gianfilippo’s excited. Khun Reed is a very important superstar in Thailand. She come in our shop for film. our Italian food in the airport of Bangkok. Not only does Khun Reet have her own show on Channel 3, she’s got her own version of the thumbs-up. My sign, Arroy Leut, that means OK Channel 3, whether their food is OK or not. When people meeting me, they will do like this. And when she’s wrapped, Khun Reet is happy to spend time with her adoring fans. My fan club. I have a lot of… the fan club in Los Angeles. They know me very well when they see me at the airport. There may be bloodshed on the streets of Bangkok, but it’s more sprained ankles and diarrhoea at the airport’s medical centre. Whatever the ailment, sick passengers need a fit-to-fly certificate from Dr Art and the team. Hello. When you travel by air, there is a risk any time if you have your medical problems. You have to make sure that everything is OK before flying. That’s especially true when you’re nearly nine months pregnant, like Wan Bui. She’s on her way back home to Finland via India. And I have a flight to Mumbai this evening. And then I’ll be five days in Goa, and then I fly back, because then I’ll have reached 36 weeks of pregnancy, and you can’t fly anymore after that. I’m going to hopefully give birth in Finland. That’s the plan, if all goes well. How are you? I’m fine, how are you? I’m Dr. Shani from Nice to Meet You. Nice to meet you. This is your first baby? My first baby, yes. And do you have any contraction right now? The baby moves well? Baby moves well. Dr. Art’s worried about Wambui taking a long-haul flight just a few weeks before she’s due to give birth. After 36 weeks, you can go in labour any time, so you shouldn’t fly during that period. Does it kick a lot? Yeah, a lot. The main risk of flying whenever you’re pregnant is that you can go into labour, because, you know, nobody can help you during the flight. The air crew cannot help. They have to call the emergency landing for you, because because they are afraid about the safety of the baby and the mother. But on the plus side, the first leg of Wambui’s journey to India is only three hours. I think the baby moved the head down already, but not engaged yet. For the three hours, it’s OK. You can fly. That’s it? Can I have a document saying that I can fly, please? I will write it down for you. Wait for the letter later on. Thank you so much. OK. Cool. Wanboo is okay to leave Bangkok, but she’ll need a second certificate from doctors in Mumbai if she’s going to make it back to Finland to give birth. The fit-to-fly certificate is valid only one day, because I gave her for the day that she’s going to Mumbai, but when she stays in Guam… A week when she needs to go back home, she needs another one from India. This is fit to fly. Fit to fly, yes. OK. Thank you. Have a good day. Thank you very much. You’re welcome. All right. Success. So Wambu is free to continue her journey, if only for now. In downtown Bangkok, mum of two Marika’s getting ready for her afternoon in the operating theatre. It’s all been handled so far, except for the blood test. She’s having a boob job and a tummy tuck all in one go. Yeah, I’m getting more excited now. I’m not nervous or anything yet. I guess that’ll be when I’m like, being boobed in. It’ll take some serious recuperation and a whole new wardrobe. This is sort of like… After the really heavy duty stuff, like to wear for about six months. This is like the girdle belt thingy. Doesn’t even fit yet. And then this one’s for like the bra. Super glamorous. Marika’s in the capable hands of top plastic surgeon Dr Titti. He’s already made his mark. It’s like Titti, but everyone calls him Dr Titti. I saw him this morning at eight. So these are my markings now. It’s like he’s a carpenter or something and he measures everything. This is just a 3-4 hour surgery. For cosmetic surgery, for plastic surgery, it’s just an ordinary procedure for us. He’s going to cut there and then cut down there and take that away and then just stitch it back up. And then with the belly button, because it’s still attached though, cut a new hole. and then kind of stick the old belly button through it and stitch that back up. Before they wheel her into surgery, Dr Titi talks through the op. We uplift your nipples a little bit, that’s for breast. And for tummy, we do the full tummy tuck without lack of suction. Yeah, okay. Thank you. Okay. Tomorrow she might be feeling some soreness, but the day after tomorrow she should be fine. She can even go for… Shopping, fat tour, nothing bad. Good. Shopping’s for another day. It’s the surgery Marika’s here for, and she’s been planning it for years. I’m normal size now, but in my head I’m still a fat kid. So I think once I’ve got this surgery done, I can actually move on, be normal. It’s a bit… Up in arrivals are backpackers Tally and Tiri, just back from their full moon party in Koh Phangan. They spent three days on the island, but it didn’t go exactly as planned. Not the best couple of days. We’ve been sunburned. She lost her card and left it in the cash machine. But their real trouble started when the party began. Well, we were being really careful. I was confined. We had, like, two beers and, like, a vodka and coke. Checking they were sealed beforehand. And next thing I know, I’m waking up six hours later and he said I’d just collapsed. He was just being sick. She was hysterically crying. She wasn’t tripping or anything, she was just panicking. Tally reckons she knows what happened. The only explanation is that I got spiked, somehow. So many people offered to help me lift her away from all the, like, craziness, or were buying us bottles of water to give to her, offering me money, offering us to take their hostel room for the night. It’s just gutting that I missed it. We obviously just caught one bad person. Yeah. Do you know whether it’s safe for us to go to Koh Sam Road today because of the protests? The friends will spend two nights in Bangkok before heading north. No problem. No problem. No problem. OK, thank you. They’re understandably keen to avoid any further trouble. She’s going to sound completely convincing, did she? We were like, we’ve heard about protests, is it OK? She said, in taxi, yeah. So we just have to take a risk. Let’s hope there’s no protests in the taxi. Civil unrest, spiked drinks, Tally and Terry won’t let anything spoil their holiday. It just goes to show that you can’t be too careful, so we’re just going to carry on as we were and hope for the best. So So the great adventure continues. Back in Bangkok, Marika’s ready to unveil her new look. She’s had the classic Dr. Titty Tummy tuck. Do you want to see it? I think they’ve done a really good job. Like, I’ve looked at so many before and afters, and I’m really happy. It’s like my old belly button, but a new position. When I move, sometimes, like, that or whatever, you can feel it sort of… wobble inside. But it’s not too crazy. He cut off like over a kilo of skin and stuff and they left that at the end of the bed for like 24 hours. And the nurse was like, what do you want me to do with this? And I was like, oh. Can you get rid of it? Then there’s the boob job, just to balance things out. It doesn’t feel that different. Like, I don’t look down and think, oh, they’re huge or anything, but I’m sure they look different to other people. They’re, like, half a kilo each. So what I got cut off, I got put in here. G. G. G. Later at the airport, Marika’s sister, Erica, turns up to admire the work and take the new look Marika home. Oh, Derek Lee! And what better way to celebrate extensive… weight loss surgery than by sampling the delights of the airport food court. What did you get? Caramel almond or Kit Kat? Caramel almond. Yeah, I got that for you. Back up north in Ayatollah, it’s the closing night of the World Thai Boxing Championships and Will’s one fight away from keeping the promise he made to his family of bringing home gold. I’m going to bring it home this time mum. Yeah, tell grandma I promised her that I’d win dinner. I’m going to kick arse mum, don’t worry. If he’s to live up to that promise, Will needs to Thai Box a Thai Thai Boxer, the reigning champion crowd favorites. He’s got six minutes to show what he’s got for this gold medal. He wants a hell of a lot. It’s his time to take the gold now. He’s worked his way up and it’s his chance now to get what he wants. Go away! Go away! Within seconds of the bell, Will’s opponent goes on the attack. Inside the first round, Will hits the canvas. It’s a technical knockout. This year, Will’s gran is going to have to settle for silver. Kaplan’s done it. Win and you lose, so… It’s quite a tech experience and you’re still second in the world and you’re the one that’s gone through three rounds, three fights for it. So you fucking earned it. With the tournament over for another year, they can now… start their holiday in the traditional British way. I want to get this. Right. That’s a good idea. Back in Bangkok, the protests are subsiding. including the two officers, 28 people lost their lives in the unrest. But through it all, the airport stayed open and life slowly returning to normal. The tourist police are out playing on their segways. With the immigration hall bursting at the seams, Captain Sarek is busy welcoming people from all nations. I am a Russian. Russian. I’m Thai. And Captain A is busy sending them to the back of the queue. Excuse me. Just get back in the line. Back to the line. I do love this job. Back in the line. Down in the medical centre, tourists are dropping like flies. Oh, sorry. And Dr Art couldn’t be happier. That’s what I love about, yeah, working here, being among people, yeah. Up in Vizeron Arrival, Captain Jack’s back… stamping for Thailand. Everybody is here, every country, every nation comes here to visit us. So you have a good trip. Yeah. Yeah. Bye-bye. I love… I love my country very much. Yes! For the passengers too, there’s a happy ending. Whambooey made it back to Finland and gave birth to a baby boy. Unbelievable joy there, come on. Tori eventually found his friend Joan and they went for a drink. I’m going to Bangkok. So it’s time to say goodbye to Bangkok airport, to all the characters who make it such an unusual place. Bye-bye! Got to say it in Thai See you again See you again See you again See you again Goodbye, see you again you

With unparalleled access to all aspects of the airport, meet the quirky Thai characters and international travellers passing through Bangkok to embark on adventures of a lifetime.

00:00 The Airport of Smiles
53:44 Are You Being Served?
01:46:36 Lost in Translation
02:39:25 Love Is in the Air
03:32:43 No Way Out!
04:25:29 Trouble in Paradise

Broadcaster: BBC Three | Year of Production: 2015