Jon Stewart on Israel’s “Urgent” Iran Strike, Minnesota Murders & MAGA’s Blame Game | The Daily Show
Welcome to The Daily Show. My name is Jon Stewart. I got a little
picture there for you. What’s happening? We got a show for you tonight. My god! [LAUGHTER] John Mulaney is going
to be joining me later. [CHEERS, APPLAUSE] Fresh off of his hit
Netflix show, Squid Game. [CHEERS, APPLAUSE] First– [SIGHS] But let me just say
this to start off. [BLEEP] [LAUGHTER] Just to start off. Weekend, this
weekend, terrible! Again. I’m so sorry. Friday– we were in
the office on Friday. We planned a very fun show. It was going to be– [LAUGHTER] We were going to come out here,
talk about little Kim Jong Trump and his big military
parade/quinceanera and how it meant that we
all live in North Korea now. And all the hyperbole
of this massive display of American military
power really butted up against
what the parade actually was, which was this. [TANK SQUEAKING] [LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE] Was that a– was that tank– was that tank squeaking? [LAUGHTER] We have a trillion-dollar
budget for the military. Nobody’s got WD-40? Nobody? Squeaky tank. Nobody can just go in there,
mee-ooh, mee-ooh, mee-ooh. [LAUGHTER] This was less a show
of overwhelming force and more like a military
museum getting in its steps. [LAUGHTER] It was– it was actually– it was actually kind
of nice and fun. It took you through the
history of the Army, from its days of
tri-cornered hats and muskets to its brave future
as robot dog walkers. Hey, hey, hey. Who’s going to clean
up these ball bearings? You’re just going to– [LAUGHTER] Who’s got a 3-kiloton
explosive nose? You do. You do. Can I boop? No, probably not. But for all the hype, it
was a relatively reserved, not particularly
well-attended event that left all the VIPs
lucky enough to see it bored out of their [BLEEP] minds. [CHEERS] Meanwhile, the real crowds
turned out for the No Kings march, where millions
gathered in cities all across the country to
protest our slow descent into authoritarian dystopia. They protested and showed
off all the hats they made. And in Boston, the
No Kings parade conveniently coincided with the
Pride parade, and it was an– wait a minute. [CHEERS] [LAUGHTER] The gays have developed
robot dogs as well? The gays– the gays have
the advanced technology? Or are those just
the gay robot dogs that Secretary of
Defense Hegseth wouldn’t allow to serve
openly in our other army? Is that– they’re
not allowed to serve. Well, guess what, Secretary
Hegseth, they are serving. [CHEERS, APPLAUSE] The point is, No Kings appear
to be a rousing success, and the military
parade’s failure to succeed in its
grandiose objectives can be described in really
this one Fox News clip. And I promise you, we did
not edit this in any way. REPORTER: If I was
the Ayatollah watching the– watching Fox News
coverage, which I hope he is, of this parade, I would
be very frightened, and I would be
thinking twice about whether I want to retaliate
against the United States. [LAUGHTER] The Ayatollah
would be frightened. They’re waving. [LAUGHTER] Does the Ayatollah
know the Americans have obtained jazz hands? Surrender or dance. But as always, reality was
no match for President Donald Trump, who set a very specific
and low bar of success for his birthday parade. [LAUGHTER] Nothing says “I
just turned 79” like shouting about how the
weather forecast was wrong. [LAUGHTER] It was a tremendous success. (IMITATING TRUMP) They
said it would rain. I knew it wouldn’t rain. You know how I knew? My right knee didn’t bark. [LAUGHTER] It’s going to rain. It always barks. (NORMAL VOICE) You see? The show– that show
about that stuff? Fun, carefree,
light, enjoyable. Old man talking
weather, gay robot dogs. [LAUGHTER] The world that could have
been you, the viewer, would have enjoyed. But the reason why we
couldn’t spend the whole show on the parade,
perhaps the reason why the parade wasn’t as
extravagant as it could have been, was because
our most impressive military shit this weekend
was being used elsewhere. REPORTER: Tonight,
Israel announced that it has launched a
military strike against Iran. Smoke seen rising in Tehran
in video posted online. REPORTER: And overnight,
Iranian strikes in Israel– retaliation, it says,
for Israel’s attack on its nuclear, military,
and energy infrastructure. REPORTER: Now there
are concerns about how much this could escalate. Could? Could escalate? The whole [BLEEP]
region is escalate. It’s all on fire. This is a wedding video from
Lebanon over the weekend. [NON-ENGLISH SINGING] Missiles, fireworks,
doesn’t matter. I now pronounce
you man and duck! But what happened with Iran? Weren’t we about to
make a nuclear deal? Wasn’t our dealmaker-in-chief
making a deal to keep Iran from enriching uranium? Actually, didn’t we have a deal
before our dealmaker-in-chief so wisely pulled
us from that deal? Why did this have to
go bomb-y on Iran now? And by next spring,
at most, by next summer, at current enrichment
rates, they will have finished
the medium enrichment and move on to the final stage. [GASPS] Iran is months away from
having a nuclear bomb, says Netanyahu in 2012. [AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS] By the way, did Iran
happen to get that bomb from a company called ACME? [LAUGHTER] Like, will it be
delivered to Israel on rocket-powered skates? Will it go off in a
tumultuous “meep, meep”? [LAUGHTER] Seriously, why did we
have to bomb Iran now? Iran is so dangerous. Weeks away from having
the fissile material for an entire arsenal
of nuclear bombs. Holy shit, that’s why. Iran is only weeks
away from having an entire arsenal of nuclear
bombs, says Netanyahu in 2015. [LAUGHTER] 2015! Think about that. Back when we all thought,
oh, no, the Republicans might nominate that madman Jeb Bush. [LAUGHTER] Should have gone with
the question mark. [LAUGHTER] No, seriously, I’m
not being facetious. I really want to know why
we had to bomb Iran now. We’re going to show you
Iran’s secret nuclear files. Here’s the warhead. Here’s the bomb. [LAUGHTER] And that’s from 2018. I don’t know if Iran is any
closer to having a bomb, but it is clear Israel
now has the capacity to enrich their drawings. [LAUGHTER] Netanyahu– I swear
to God, Netanyahu talks about Iran
getting nukes the way I talk about the
Knicks winning a title. [LAUGHTER] This– this is the year. The Knicks are one piece away– [LAUGHTER] –weeks away, from
winning a title. But they never win
the [BLEEP] title. [LAUGHTER] Of course, a hot war
between Israel and Iran could threaten
the United States. It’s best we stay out of it. ED O’KEEFE: Secretary of
State Marco Rubio saying Israel took unilateral
action against Iran and that the US is not
involved in strikes. [PUFFS] We’re not involved.
That’s– that’s good. That’s good. REPORTER: The US says it
was informed beforehand. [LAUGHTER] [MUMBLES] Good Neighbor policy. I mean, we were informed. They let us know. Still not being
involved, really. President Trump
acknowledged yesterday that he was aware of
the Israeli operation, and he gave it a green light. [AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS] They don’t know what
they’re talking about. We were told. We approved. It’s still Israel’s game. REPORTER: Israel used
American equipment during its initial
strikes against Iran. What the [BLEEP]
are we doing? All right, so we
knew, and we approved. And we gave them all
the shit to do it with. I’m confused. Are we involved? I think I need clarification
from our parade grand marshal in chief. The president made it
clear that the United States is not involved. He wanted to make
that very clear. But at the same
time, it’s possible that we could get
involved, but we’re not involved at this moment. [LAUGHTER] See? We’re Switzerland. Perhaps the reason
why the president is being cagey about all this
is because not all of the MAGA are embracing Netanyahu’s
bomb fetishes. We cannot be dragged into– inexorably dragged into
a war in the Middle East. We put America
first, and that means American interests first. Our MAGA base, they
do not want the United States to be engaged in this. I don’t know
anyone that wakes up and thinks about bombing Iran. She doesn’t know
anyone who wakes up and thinks about bombing Iran. I gotta tell you, I don’t
think she knows anyone who wakes up and thinks. [LAUGHTER] But credit– they
enjoyed that one. But you know what?
I’m going to say this. This may surprise some people. Credit where credit is due. I certainly have
tremendous policy and, in some instances
space laser differences, with these folks. But I applaud any
group that is steadfast in a diplomacy-first posture. The only problem with their
posture that I see with it is their reluctance to commit
America’s military to fighting drawn-out and often
pointless wars doesn’t seem to
extend to America. President Trump
should fully deploy the military in the streets. Take back the streets of LA. Do it and do it fast. Huh? Doesn’t want to be in Iran. He wants to be in LA. He doesn’t want to deploy
the military overseas. He wants to save the military
for the real threat– us. He’s not being hypocritical,
just [BLEEP] mind-blowing. The MAGA mindset
appears to be, we didn’t vote for foreign wars. We voted for civil war. This is a war. The battle for
America was going to take place in Los Angeles. The only way to win here is
to double and triple down. The current war that we are
seeing waged by the Democrats, by the foreign nationals
waving Mexican flags– The city of Los Angeles
is an occupied city. It is time to retake the
cities of this country. It is time to use force. What the [BLEEP]? They are looking
for any pretense– they are looking
for any pretense to sic their robot
dogs on Democrats. And the strategy
that they’re using is to inflate the threat that
this country now faces to so rile up their base as to make
the left in this country, represented by over
75 million votes in the past
presidential election, as a legitimate military
target for the United States of America. It’s a strategy that’s
been used before to gin up military conflict. See if you recognize it. The good people of Iraq,
they want a peaceful country. They want security. The good people
of Los Angeles deserve to be secure
in their homes. We’re not going
anywhere until there is a stable environment. We’re not going anywhere. We’re here to
maintain the peace. Liberate Iraq
from the tyranny. Liberate the city
from the socialists. We will liberate
the people of Iraq. We will liberate Los Angeles. We must– they
don’t understand yet. We must invade Los Angeles. We cannot have the
world’s most dangerous people eating the world’s
most delicious tacos. [LAUGHTER] It’s so [BLEEP] absurd
to paint the opposition party in your country as
a fifth column, an enemy from within. But again, like, I
don’t want to overreact. I don’t want to strain
the metaphor too much. It’s not like the right is
calling for the need for a kind of Iraq-like
de-Baathification program to remove Democrats from
government post-liberation. We need, like, a
de-Baathification program. Fire every single mid-level
bureaucrat, every civil servant in the administrative state. Replace them with our people. They’re insane. By the way, was
that guy’s beard used to color JD Vance’s eyes? [LAUGHTER] So there you have it. We’ve got Israel
stoking foreign wars. We’ve got the right
in this country pushing for domestic war. And I haven’t even
gotten to the one thing this weekend that was
actually really so [BLEEP] up. It’s almost too much show. You know, in fact, I’m
going to break form. Let’s take an intermission. [LAUGHTER] [BRIGHT MUSIC] [CHEERS, APPLAUSE] All right, Here we go. All right. Intermission over. Thank you Welcome
back to the show. [CHEERS, APPLAUSE] All right. This is the kind of shit that I
hate having to do on the show. But as you know, Minnesota was
the site of horrible violence where a state house leader
and her husband were killed. A state senator and
his wife were shot. The only positive
is that the person who perpetrated these acts
has finally been caught. Finally. [CHEERS, APPLAUSE] But what I was
really struck by is what seemed to be
on everybody’s mind in the midst of this horror. This morning, a
lot of questions remain, like, what
was his motive? Why? A motive. Why did he do this? When do we learn
about motive? Everyone wants
to know why, Bill. His roommate, he
says that the suspect was a Trump supporter. This is a Tim Walz appointee. This is a Democrat. I’m going to be honest,
and I truly mean this. I mean no disrespect. Like, I don’t give a [BLEEP]
why this person did it. I just don’t give a [BLEEP]. I don’t care. I don’t care whose
team he’s on. I don’t care if he listens
to NPR or Fox News. I don’t give a flying [BLEEP]. What blows my mind is our
resignation in the aftermath of this nonsense. Ooh, what are you going to do? I don’t know, put a
shit ton of funding into mental health funding. Put a shit ton of money into
illegal weapons interdiction. Maybe that shit. Maybe– maybe– what
do you call it there? Maybe– maybe the
chip that Bill Gates had injected in all
of us during COVID could have a
self-destruct button. Take people out before
they do this shit. For God’s sakes,
can’t we do that? Grubhub knows
when I want pizza. [LAUGHTER] You don’t think Grubhub
doesn’t know when people are getting murderous? What’s the difference
between hungry and hangry? What’s the difference? We’re willing to do
things about other issues. We just heard about it. Why are they attacking
Los Angeles right now? Why is the right so willing
to tear our cities apart in this moment. Dangerous criminals
continue to flood our nation and kill our citizens. This has to stop. I mean, I think about
it for my grandkids. I mean, how safe are
they in this society? One woman or one child
violated by an illegal alien is one too many. The alarm bells are going
off for a long time ago. A lot of Democrats will defend
this and say, well, you know, it’s such a small percentage. They have blood on their
hands, pure and simple. One is too many. One is too many. One death. By the way, true. It is too many. Violence should
never be accepted. It should never be tolerated. But that’s for their issue. In the wake of Sandy Hook, and
Uvalde, and Parkland, and El Paso, and Lewiston, and Aurora,
and Buffalo, and Boulder, and Binghamton, and Highland
Park, and Monterey Park, and San Bernardino, and San
Jose, and San Francisco, and the Pulse nightclub, and
the Colorado Springs nightclub, and the Little Rock
nightclub, and the Borderline Bar in Thousand Oaks, and the
Ned Peppers Bar in Dayton, And the Waffle House in
Nashville, and Virginia Tech, and UVA, and MSU, and UCSB,
and FSU, and NIU, and SMC, and the Sutherland
Springs Church , and the Mother Emanuel
Church in Charleston, and the Living Church of God,
and the Tree of Life Synagogue, and the Allen Mall,
and the Westroads Mall, and Fort Hood, and
Lockheed Martin– and what are we [BLEEP] doing? What are we doing? [CHEERS, APPLAUSE] By the way– by the way, that
is a wildly incomplete list. We kept it to the
last 25 years, and it’s still not everything. And what’s their
response to all that? They’re doing the same
thing that they always do after there’s a mass shooting. They politicize it. The issue is not with
the Second Amendment. Guns aren’t the problem. Does a gun commit crime? Democrats want to
take away your guns. They don’t want
to solve problems. Turns out, when it
comes to mass shootings, one’s not too many. Actually, a shitload
isn’t too many. And by the way, you can say
Second Amendment all you want, but you definitely
don’t seem to mind throwing out the Constitution
when it comes to deportation. And I am legitimately
asking this question. This is truly legitimate. Like, I know I can be, like– but I am genuinely baffled. Why is it when a foreigner or
someone that shouldn’t be here kills one of us, we’re
going to put $150 billion into border security? We’re going to
militarize our cities. We’re going to spend
trillions of dollars to bomb and destabilize
foreign countries overseas. We’re going to ban people
from random countries from ever [BLEEP]
visiting here. We’re going to take our shoes
off at the airport forever. But when we do it to
ourselves, nothing. Is it that the only
acceptable deaths are those that are made in America? Our only response
now is to tally up the psycho scoreboard on
whose side the perp belongs to? I honestly would like to know. Like, it makes no sense. It’s jarring
cognitive dissonance. This is Senator
Mike Lee, all right? Great state of Utah. Which, by the way,
suffered a tragic shooting death at one of their No
Kings events over the weekend. And just a little backstory,
I have met Senator Lee. He’s the best. [LAUGHTER] In 2019, when we trying to
get permanent reauthorization of the Ray Pfeifer, Luis
Alvarez, Zadroga act, we met with Senator Mike Lee in
his office down in Washington. We had a team of
FealGood Foundation and a team of first
responders with us– firefighters,
cops, other people. One of the cops had been in the
first tower when it collapsed. Right? So all these first responders
are going around the table and they are sharing their
stories to try and get Senator Mike Lee to support this
bill that’s going to provide lifesaving coverage and
money to the victims of this terrible terrorist
attack and the illnesses they are suffering since then. When the one cop says his story
about being in the tower that collapsed and the aftermath,
when he told Senator Lee about that experience,
Senator Lee smiled and said, I bet you’ve got
a lot of stories. Of [BLEEP]– of dead– of, like, what? Spring break? Like, what are
you talking about? We met a lot of
people in Washington. Some were hopeful,
some of those meetings. Some were upsetting meetings. That was the only meeting where
we all walked out and looked at each other and
went, what the [BLEEP] is wrong with that guy? The only one. I say this for
context, for why I use Senator Lee as the
avatar for the insanity of this moment. Here he is on the
Senate floor talking about why he is for these– you could call draconian
immigration policies. –the tragic case
of Laken Riley, a life cut short by an illegal alien. Her case represents
hundreds of thousands of families across this
nation whose lives have been upended by the invasion
that our leaders allowed to happen. Now, look, he’s right
to be upset at our leaders for allowing unsafe
conditions to happen. That’s fine. Here’s Mike Lee tweeting this
weekend about the assassination of a Democratic legislator
and her husband, just hours after we all
learned about this tragedy. REPORTER: Republican Senator
Mike Lee of Utah posted a picture of the suspect at the
door of one of the lawmakers with the caption, “This
is what happens when Marxists don’t get their way.” And by the way, he
didn’t just post that. He didn’t just post that. He pinned that to the top
of whatever the [BLEEP] it is that you pin
stuff on on Twitter, your Twitter refrigerator, to
show off your Twitter work. And then to let all of
us know that that is not the depth of his depravity,
that he can go deeper, he posted this. REPORTER: The Senator
posted another picture with the caption, “Nightmare
on Walz Street,” mocking, of course, the name
of the Minnesota governor. OK, first of all, Elm Street
to Wall Street is a shitty pun. As a comedian, I must object. You’ve got “Wolf of Wall
Street” just sitting there. And second, I truly want to
know why, in his mind, one death the hands of an
immigrant is worth $150 billion of border security,
a militarization of American cities– well, just the blue cities. I know the undocumented
immigrants in red state fields are the good ones
now, suddenly. That and I guess Mar-a-Lago
hospitality workers. But I want to know why
those deaths in Minnesota are worth only a night
of edgelord shitposting. No billions for mental health. No stopping illegal
weapons trafficking. No nothing. We should ask him why. I bet he’s got some
stories to tell.
Jon Stewart breaks down Netanyahu’s “urgent” strike on Iran’s nuclear program, MAGA’s sustained focus on battling protesters and immigrants in Democratic cities, and how Trump’s unattended parade of weaponry explains America’s muted response to the Minnesota assassination. #DailyShow #MiddleEast #MAGA #Minnesota
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