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【気まぐれ添削109】5作品、添削スペシャル！！
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【気まぐれ添削109】5作品、添削スペシャル！！

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【気まぐれ添削109】5作品、添削スペシャル！！

This video is a re-upload of an older video. Some of the other videos mentioned in this video may not have been re-uploaded yet or may have broken links. I will slowly re-upload the videos so please be patient. So, please go ahead and watch the video. Hello. My name is Naoki Saito. Today I will be doing some random corrections. This is a correction class I held at Kobe Gakuin University in Hyōgo Prefecture. This time I will explain the work I created at that time in a video. This time I’m going to change the format. I will first show you the work before and after editing. I will introduce some points to keep in mind when finishing your work. I will also explain how to improve your illustrations. This is the first piece. This is a FREELY produced work. I can’t forget the title of this painting. This is her comment: I drew this picture while listening to my favorite music. It’s a song about going from lovers back to friends. She hides her mouth. It represents her hiding her true feelings that she did not want to forget her lover. I drew this expression. I would like you to correct these. It’s about how you paint light and shadow on the skin. She paints conceptually, which is great. This character hides his true feelings. That’s why this character hides his mouth. This operation has been very successful. It is quite difficult to paint an entire picture in pale tones. This presentation makes her look divine. This highlights her regret over breaking up with her boyfriend. I think this performance is very good. I will now talk about the key points of this edit. It’s not just the painting, it’s the way of expression. It’s all about how deeply you dig into your embarrassing parts. It’s about how you make it resonate with the reader. Actually, this is important. From that perspective, FREELY still has some embarrassment to it. For example, this is what I feel is a character’s embarrassing true feelings. I see this picture. Sometimes she may seem more attractive after a breakup. I think that is what he really means. Her ex-boyfriend can no longer touch her. For the ex-lover, she is now out of reach. But the more I think about it, the more beautiful she seems to me. That is the author’s effeminate regret. I want the artist to express that unashamedly in his paintings. That will make the piece even more appealing. I think this painting will be one that readers can easily relate to. Taking that into consideration, I made some edits. I fixed it like this. What do you think of this picture? This is before editing. This is after editing. I’ll explain the first point first. That’s the hair part. This part is a big change. Hair is very important to make a character look attractive. In particular, this time we are restricted from drawing the characters’ mouths. The mouth area is less attractive. This time, there is a negative point. You are wearing a mask due to the COVID-19 outbreak, right? The impression of your mouth when you remove the mask is quite large. Simply covering the mouth reduces the impact of the painting. Since the mouth cannot be seen, I use the hair to fully express the character’s charm. This is how I expressed the movement of her hair blowing in the wind. That will change the picture nicely. I will explain this point. That is, the main lines are deliberately not drawn in some areas. This enhances the softness of your hair. I want to touch her hair. I can’t touch her because she’s not my girlfriend anymore. This hair expresses all these conflicted emotions I have at the same time. Next, we’ll learn how to draw the eyes. How have her eyes changed? I zoom in on her eyes. Her eyes have changed like this. Do you know what’s changed? As I mentioned earlier, this time I chose not to draw the character’s mouth. I have to express the charm of the character in other ways. In that sense, how you draw the eyes is very important. The only thing I changed was the volume of my eyelashes. From that perspective, this part is thicker. Another is double writing. This is a fine point, but the other is the line around her black eye. I fixed this too. Please look at this picture with that in mind. That is certainly changing. I was worried about her eyebrows. Her eyebrows were not originally drawn on. I stopped painting my eyebrows. This is why the eyebrows were not drawn in to begin with. This is why I stopped painting her eyebrows. Eyebrow expressions can best express what a person is thinking. She walked away from me. I don’t know what she is thinking. FREELY expresses this nuance by deliberately leaving her eyebrows undrawn. I think so. However, having no eyebrows looks unnatural. I don’t paint her eyebrows. I thought it would be more natural to cover her eyebrows with hair like this. Where is the other fix I made? You look at this picture. Can you tell what’s different? It’s the presence or absence of background. This painting has no background. You can see the seaside townscape here in miniature. I’ll explain why I made this change. If you don’t draw the background, the painting will be too conceptual. This is because the picture becomes less realistic. This is like a picture of her from my memory. I added a light toned background. It allows me to present that this girl is a real person. This lends credibility to the premise that she is an ex-lover. By adding a background. I don’t know if I have that memory. We associate our close memories. That is the regret of anyone who sees this painting. It brings out fond memories in anyone who sees this painting. I may have had a lover break up with me on a beach like this. We conjure up memories that don’t exist. I corrected this illustration while paying attention to these three points. I’m finishing correcting the first picture. Next is the second picture. This is my second piece. This was drawn by RINRI. The title is Suspicious Older Sister. The theme of this piece is the circus. I drew her kind expression. I want you to see her frills and her eyes. This appears to be a large sketchbook piece. She paints pictures with perfect balance on such a large screen. This requires compositional ability. The figures are placed very precisely. This makes the illustrations look better. That is the power of detail in this illustration. You need the ability to depict details such as the hands and the area around the face. Before that, composition skills are important. It’s the ability to arrange illustrations on the screen in a way that looks good. This is the most important thing. RINRI has that most important ability: composition. That’s great. I will explain the key points of editing. That is the theme of the painting. RINRI seems unable to organize the order of the themes. The title of this painting is Kind Older Sister. The theme of this painting is the circus. I thought I could think deeply about this. That’s when I saw this illustration. What did RINRI want to express with this illustration? I just imagined it. That’s the difference between this woman’s true face and her true personality. Where can you see that? For example, she wears a circus costume to play a clown. She smiles sweetly. On the other hand, when she removes the mask, it looks like she is crying. I can see that in the difference. I would emphasize her dual nature more. I want to convey that duality to anyone who sees this painting in one glance. That way I think this illustration will be much better. I will revise this illustration taking into account what I have just explained. This illustration has changed to this: How about this? I think my impression of this painting has changed quite a bit. Where exactly did I change? Please look at this picture and imagine that. I’ll explain the first change. This is very easy to understand. I darkened the background of this painting. I emphasized her dual nature. The first painting was made up mostly of light elements. It’s the white background. It’s her circus costume and her smile. These are all her public faces. I said earlier that this mask represents her dark side. That is if all of these masks had dark patterns. That alone shows her other side. I thought that was enough. Look closely at the pattern on the mask. Here is a smile. Here is a tearful expression. Here is a troubled expression. Here, smiling again. This mask already expresses the duality of its front and back. This mask is not all about darkness. That is, if you look at this painting knowing its theme beforehand. We may have realized that this is a picture of her two-sided nature. That is if you look at this painting without knowing anything about it. I find the theme of duality in this painting difficult to read. In contrast to her public face, I emphasize her private face. I paint the background of this painting dark. She is smiling here, but it is not a normal smile. I made it easy to understand. I added a further twist. I used shadows to give the reader an order of focus to the parts I wanted them to see. Please look at the picture before the edits. Which part of this illustration do you see first? I think it might be this mask. This is an area with a large difference in contrast between black and white. Our eyes are drawn to this part. In human terms, it would be like having a cockroach on your wall. Our eyes are instantly drawn to it. This also applies to the existence of cockroaches. Before that, our eyes are drawn to the difference in contrast between black and white. If cockroaches were white, they wouldn’t attract so much of our attention. I will explain that on this screen. First of all, this is where our attention is drawn. However, this mask is an important item in this painting. I will explain the story of this painting. First off, there’s her smiling face. But there’s actually a hidden meaning behind her smile. This is the order of the story. We need to see her smile first. Otherwise the story of this painting would not work. I paint her face like this, with the brightest and most contrast. I’ll give her a little darker shadow on her body. I adjusted it so that people would look at her face and then her body. That way I can control the order in which I want the pictures to be viewed. The last point is a follow-up to what I just said. I want people to see her smile first. I adjusted this part to create the greatest contrast. I haven’t changed the shape of her face. I adjusted the lines drawn by RINRI to be darker. Especially this part of her eyes. I adjusted her eyes darker. This just drew our attention to her face. This is when you want to show her two-sided nature. You think about where her true and false sides are. You think about how to draw this picture in a way that will be easy for people to understand. You sort it out in your head. This is just my feeling. Maybe I should slightly change the relationship between the title and theme of this painting. The title of this painting is Circus. Or the title of this painting is Clown. I think that would be a better title for this illustration. I’m going to finish correcting this illustration. I will present the following piece: This is the next piece. This is a work by M. The title is Shadows Lurking in the Moonlight. I wanted to create a cool painting with the theme of Karasu Tengu and night. I produced this painting. It’s the character’s face and the texture of their kimono. I paid careful attention to how the light hits the subject when I painted. The part I’d like you to correct is how to create the overall atmosphere of the picture. It’s how the main characters stand out. If there are any points that need correction throughout the work, please correct them. This is a very high quality painting. I honestly think this painting is cool. M can honestly express his sense of coolness in his drawings. The M has both expressive and technical power. I don’t need to say a lot. This is a very nice illustration. There is one correction that could make this picture better. I have corrected it. Let us see the corrected picture. What do you think of this picture? This picture has changed like this: This is before editing. This is after editing. The impact of the painting has increased. I’ll explain the first point first. It’s very simple. What this illustration is trying to convey is coolness. There are a few elements to this painting that don’t add up to great looks. For example, there are many clouds like this. It is this mountain. That’s too much roof area. Fewer of these would be better. For example, you go to a restaurant to eat steak. When I was correcting this, I had been to Kobe and really wanted to eat beef. But I didn’t have time to eat it. So I went to a steak restaurant and ordered a Kobe beef steak. However, there was more broccoli on the side than there was steak. You don’t need that much broccoli, do you? I think this illustration is getting close to that state now. I’ll cut back on the broccoli a little bit here. And I’ll put a bigger portion on the main steak. I think that just doing that will greatly increase the appeal of this illustration. With that in mind, I made the following changes. And the second point is about the characters. Before the corrections, it seemed to me like it was too dark and sunken. It’s around here. This is something we tend to do quite often. Using black can make it a little hard to see and make the cool look less noticeable. I think M probably didn’t want it to be black, but rather dark. In fact, you can express darkness without making it black. For example, blue. This color alone can be used to convey a dark meaning. On the other hand, if you brighten up the wings like this, The only thing left is his hair. Please watch this part. This part is also bright and lifted. But despite that. Being in a pretty dark place doesn’t make that much difference. In this way, darkness can be expressed without making it black. I thought you should be careful about that. And this is the last point. This depends on the time and situation. Looking at the principle in front. It’s on the edge of this screen. The artist has surrounded this area with a circle of scrolls and bird feathers. Surrounding the screen like this. In the case of illustrations of a single character that don’t really involve a specific situation. In some cases it may fit better. This is a fairly dynamic illustration. This surrounds the entire character. I thought that doing so had the disadvantage of making the picture look static and monotonous. Just by having something cross in front of the painting. Guide the viewer’s eye to only the parts that the artist wants people to see. That’s a very effective technique, so instead of surrounding it like this. You can change the appearance by changing the top and bottom scrolls like this. The same goes for the bird’s feathers. You don’t surround it all like this, but place it here and there. And you change the size too. By doing so, it won’t be monotonous. On the contrary, I think it can create the effect of movement on the screen. This concludes the corrections for this illustration. Next is the fourth piece. What kind of piece is it? Here is the fourth piece. This is an illustration of a cute girl. This is a debilitating illustration. This is a work by KARINKO LEMON. This is titled The Cat and the Fish. This is a comment from the author. I tried to express things like the survival of the fittest and the importance of life. I don’t really know the secret to drawing the details of backgrounds, hair, and bodies. The comment was: This is a lethargic illustration. Even though the character has a listless expression, there is a sense of melancholy. I thought this was an illustration that had a mysterious charm to it. If you can make good use of the relaxed feel of this painting. I think it would be an even better illustration. Key points to consider when correcting this illustration. It’s about organizing information. For simple illustrations. Are you able to organize information and communicate it to others in an easy-to-understand way? I think that’s a very important point. In that respect, this painting has too much more to it than just elements of the survival of the fittest and the importance of life. Because of that, I felt like the message the author wanted to convey most wasn’t conveyed. Here is an example of the edits I made based on that. It looks something like this. What do you think? The image has changed quite a bit. However, I have actually reduced the number of motifs depicted. There are three points this time. The first point is to eliminate elements that are not related to the exchange of life. I say this quite often. What’s important when drawing illustrations? I think it’s more about what not to draw than what to draw. The title of this illustration is Cat and Fish. The theme is survival of the fittest and the importance of life. And then about the other stuff. The more you draw them, the more you dilute the theme. In that regard, please take a look at the original text before any corrections. For example, the artist has painted a large area of ground like this. And the sea. And the distant mountains and sky. I don’t think these elements are particularly relevant to the importance of life or such themes. Throw out these less relevant elements. Then, think about how you can convey a message using just the main motif. This may be easier to understand in terms of organizing the information. So, how did I think about that part and how did I change it? I will explain in order. First, the cat places its hand on its belly and drools. That’s the kind of hungry cat I created. To accentuate this, there is a wavy effect in the background going towards his stomach. I indicated his stomach was growling. And I also described his hunger in a way that was easy to understand. He has a fish that has been eaten and is now just bones. He ate the fish. If you look closely, you’ll see it behind the cat. There was a huge pile of scattered fish bones there. Even after eating so much, he is still hungry. And right in front of him. Some of the fish are still alive but have already been brought onto land and are unable to move on their own. Now it all depends on how hungry the cat is whether the fish get eaten. It’s waiting its turn to be eaten. That’s why these fish have these expressions. It’s a dangerous situation for the fish. Also, to make it clearer that this is on land. I tried placing a roadside strip on the edge of the screen to indicate danger. On the other hand, I reduced the number of motifs. But don’t you think this message gets across better? I think this illustration is in line with the theme of the weight of life. And the last point: I think it would be better to make better use of KARINKO LEMON’s humorous illustrations. In the comments, KARINKO LEMON said that she didn’t know how to draw the background. I felt this indicated the author’s desire to portray the story more realistically. On the contrary, I think it’s better to draw it humorously rather than realistically. I think this brings out the best in KARINKO LEMON. The reason is that. For example, in this illustration. I think this is a pretty serious and scary situation right now. For a fish, there is no more frightening situation. If you were to replace this with a human, it would be a pretty frightening situation, right? So depending on how it’s drawn, I think this could become a pretty grotesque picture. But if you look at it through the lens of KARINKO LEMON’s artwork… It doesn’t seem such a grotesque picture. I think that’s what makes this illustration so appealing. What is the design of KARINKO LEMON? I think he has the ability to transform such serious themes into something humorous. I think this is one of the strengths of KARINKO LEMON’s illustrations. So, make sure to make full use of the design of KARINKO LEMON. And make sure to finish it in a humorous and charming way. Also, try to draw these fish facing this kind of death in a somewhat cute way. This makes the image easier to accept and draws you in. However, beyond that lies an unexpectedly serious theme. I thought the author could do something like that. That’s all for this illustration. Next is the last piece. Here is the final piece. This is a very cute illustration. This is a work by Aru and it’s titled MY ROOM. This is a comment. I created this with the concept of cute and fancy. In particular, it is difficult to achieve a cohesive pose for girls because the whole body is included. So I fine-tuned it. Regarding the parts I would like corrected. Is the color scheme and painting of the background designed to make this character stand out? He also says that the way the wrinkles in the clothes are depicted is convincing and suits this style of painting. This is perfect, right? I don’t have much to say about this. I think this painting is very good. This is simply an eye-catching illustration. I can’t help but say that there is nothing to correct. I think this painting is that amazing. In particular, I think the author seems to use a lot of color. Here too, the artist makes good use of complementary color contrast to create a sense of liveliness. The author skillfully controls the amount and placement of the content. Furthermore, the author has kept the characters clear of too much detail, allowing the eye to focus on the characters. I think this kind of ability to summarize things is truly amazing. I was at a loss as to where to search. I think it could be better if the author put a bit more thought into it. That is, the theme is cute and fancy. If you dig deeper into this, from my perspective… I don’t see the girl in this illustration as wanting to say her room is cute or fancy. I think that’s what the author is trying to say. But there’s more to it than that, she says her room is cute and fancy with dolls. But I think what I want to say is that she is the cutest out of all of them. The girl in this illustration thinks like that. This seemed a little under-produced. Here’s what my edits based on that look like: What do you think? What has changed? Please watch this while making predictions. First and simply, the first point is that I increased the number of stuffed animals I have. Why did I increase it? This is to reduce the importance of the stuffed animal in the picture. You might think that it’s not important and it would be better to reduce the number. This is the opposite. The less important something is, the more you should draw it. It has the effect of making things that are few in number appear more important. The role is played by the mob characters of the manga. To highlight the few main characters. I draw a lot of passersby and stuff. In this illustration, this stuffed animal plays the role of the mob character. The stuffed toys are certainly fancy and cute. However, she is merely a mob character meant to highlight her, who is the most fancy and cute in this illustration. In that sense, this also applies to the part at the back of the room where there is a window. Stack the stuffed animals tightly like this. I think this will emphasize her as the subject of the painting. Contrary to the densely packed part I just mentioned. In terms of roughness and fine details, it’s the roughness. Don’t forget to make it too. I work on the less important parts of the illustration in detail. On the contrary, around the main motif of the illustration. Instead, leave more space. And make a point of creating rough areas with lots of space. Then your eyes will be drawn to this part. This has the effect of making it clear that this is the main thing. So I’m going to shift the character up a little bit like this. Then I took out the white sheet and left the remaining space wide. I think this has created a composition that makes it even easier to focus on her. The last thing is how to apply light. This is the simplest way of thinking about it. The idea behind this is to shine the strongest light on the main subject that you want the eye to see the most. And conversely. The idea is also to not shine as much light on motifs that are less important. Keep that in mind as you look at this change. Especially around here. I think the lighting in this area has changed quite a bit. The light is subdued, especially on the stuffed animal at the back. But I think it would be unnatural to make everything dark. The idea is to shine a moderate amount of light on it, while submerging the stuffed animal overall in shadow. Amidst all this, she stands out in the spotlight and shines brightly. Look, among all these cute dolls, I’m the cutest, right? I think you can express that theme through the number of stuffed animals and the lighting. Please remember this. That’s all for today’s corrections. This is also the case with the corrections this time. Occasionally, I will make special videos like this of illustrations that I have corrected at the vocational school and release them to the public. For example, this video is Random Correction 77. This is also a very high level illustration. This is an illustration that I edited after somehow finding the points that needed to be corrected to make it even better. If you are interested, please check this out as well. Now, finally, that corner. This is the random rock-paper-scissors corner. Here we go. Are you ready? See you again in the next video. bye bye.

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